Does Your Lack of Conscience Tell You Everything's Alright?

Much to my pleasure, the mall is not crowded. In fact, it's almost empty. I'm going to guess that is because it’s a school day. Or maybe this mall isn't popular. Either way, there aren't many people here. I don't have to worry about getting separated from Alex and can enjoy being in the mall for the first time in awhile.

In my youth, Jeffery brought me to stores specializing in children's garments. They were always small, owned and run by a family. Never did he bring me to larger establishments in fear of getting caught.

He knew how to cover up the kidnapping to that extent.

However, he would always come into the dressing room with me; he claimed I needed help getting dressed.

Since when is a ten year old not competent enough to dress themselves?

The family members working there never asked questions though. Not when I sobbed in the dressing room, begging Jeffery to stop; not when I would come out with rips in my original clothes; not when I looked up at them with tear-stained cheeks, silently begging them to ask me what happened.

I don't think they cared enough to ask questions. They never showed that they even noticed anything out of the ordinary.

My hand clutches the side of Alex's skinny jeans tight in hopes they don't fall from my waist. His belt isn't helping in the slightest. I guess I should be happy that his band tee is not loose enough to give the world a peek of my bra.

But I'm sure Alex would enjoy the view if it did.

I have no doubt that Alex likes me, that he's attracted to me for who knows what reason. Not anymore.

And I have no doubt that I like him.

I've been aware of those feeling for awhile.

Alex and I walk leisurely through the mall. Our destination is still unknown to me. I assume Alex knows where he is going. Then again, he told me he knows very little about women's clothing; whether or not we are wandering aimlessly is questionable.

Alex seems to be walking slower than his normal pace in order for me to keep up; I'm kind of short and my strides are not exactly the longest.

It doesn't help that this clothing is much too big.

He had nothing smaller in his closet though.

I should have raided August's closet. Her clothes would have fit better.

Wait, why didn't I wear August's clothing?

"Alex," I say.

"Yes, Alice?" he turns his head to look at me.

"Why am I wearing your clothes?"

"Because you needed something to wear. Don't you remember asking me?"

Alex stops walking; I stop with him. There is concern in his eyes. His caterpillar eyebrows are drawn closer together.

Is he worried that my memory has been affected?

My memory is getting better now that I eat; Alex doesn't need to worry about that. In fact, I remember out instructor's name: Marie, just like the little girl Jeffery used to have. I can't believe I forgot that.

It's amazing the way the brain shuts down when not given nutrients.

"Of course I remember. I just wanted to know why I wore your clothes instead of wearing some from your sister's closet."

Something that wouldn't threaten to expose my body.

"Oh, because you look good in mine," he smiles.

Is he serious?

Jeffery used to love when I wore his oversized shirts to walk around the house in. It made me seem more childlike.

Alex can not be thinking the same thing.

"Why?" I ask.

"Just something about seeing you in my clothing brings me happiness. And knowing that you're not walking around in some other guy's clothes makes me feel lucky."

"I don't understand."

"It’s the territorial side of me. If some guy sees you walking around in my clothes, he'll know you're mine and he can't touch."

His? I'm Alex's? I wasn't aware. What does that even mean? I'm his friend? His charity case?

"I'm your what?" I ask.

He chuckles, running a hand through his hair.

"Well, I never formally asked you. I'm afraid you'll shoot me down," he says.

"Shoot you down about what?"

"About being my girlfriend," Alex's eyes dart to his shoes.

I can see a slight flush on his cheeks.

Is he embarrassed?

"Why would I do that?"

He shrugs, "I've never been worried about something like this before."

Of course he's never been worried; he looks like a fucking god with kindness to match.

So why is he worried now?

"Alex, I'd love to be your girlfriend."

His eyes leave his shoes and focus on me.

"Are you sure you're ready for a relationship? You can tell me if you're not."

Oh, the whole being raped and kidnapped thing makes him worry about my relationship stability.

"Yes, I'm sure."

"So," he trails off for a second, taking my hand in his, "Will you be my girlfriend?"

"Yes."

"Good," he leans over, pressing his lips to mine.

Perfection, thy name is Alex Gaskarth's kisses.