Everything I've Been Dreaming Of

I watched as the shot glass in Patrick’s hand slammed down onto the bar table. Patrick, who had suggested the idea of having a few drinks to get my mind off of the girl in the clothing store, wobbled off of his bar stool and smiled widely at me.

“Nick Jonas-the suave, charming, musician-finally found his match.” Patrick slurred pointing a shaking finger in my direction. “You miss your brothers.”

I scoffed and stared down at my barely touched Rum and Diet Coke. “You’re crazy, Patrick. I don’t miss my brothers.”

“Then what’s your excuse for running out?” He shouted, attempting to get back up on his seat. His leg slipped off of the step as I watched him in amusement.

“It just caught me by surprise,” I mumbled sheepishly, although I knew Patrick had moved onto something completely different. He waved the bartender over and ordered another drink when I felt my BlackBerry buzz in my back pocket.

“Patrick,” I said, pulling the phone out of my pocket. My stomach instantly dropped as I read the Caller ID. My mom. “Patrick!” I shouted it this time, finally getting his attention.

I pointed down at my phone and said nothing more before turning around and exiting the club. I finally answered the phone when I was a safe distance away from the loud music and shouting people. I couldn’t imagine the reaction I would get from my mom if she found out where I was.

“Mom, hey.” I said quietly, dragging my feet down the crowded sidewalk. I felt eyes follow my every move as I tried to hide behind the collar of my jacket.

“Nick!” My mom shouted enthusiastically, “I’ve been trying to get a hold of you all day, where have you been?”

I sighed, glancing into a shop window, my eyes running across the merchandise absentmindedly. “In the studio for the morning and afternoon, I’m just hanging out with a friend right now.”

“Sounds fun.” My mom answered quietly. I could tell by the eagerness in her voice that she had something to say. “So, I came up with a great idea last night.”

“Did you?” I questioned, sitting down on a bench that was located next to the bus stop.

“What would you say to coming back to Texas for a few weeks? There’s a carnival in town, and I was thinking that maybe you and your brothers could perform, I know they’re looking for musicians still.” I opened my mouth to interrupt my mom, but she had beat me to it. “And Kevin opened that hotel, you know, it would mean a lot of you dropped by and saw what he’s done. Everyone misses you.”

I sighed and ran one of my hands through my hair. “What did Joe say?” I wanted to turn the attention away from me as soon as I possibly could.

“I was going to call him when I got off the phone with you.” My mom mumbled, “ But from what I’ve heard, he hasn’t booked a job in a few months, so he probably would be able to make it.”

A small smile twitched at the corner of Nick’s mouth as he shook his head slowly. “I don’t know, Mom. With the new album coming out, my days have been pretty jam-packed.”

“You don’t think you could find a few weeks out of your busy schedule to spend time with your family?” My mom’s voice turned suddenly bitter. “Nick, we haven’t seen you since Christmas.”

I stood up from the bench and glanced down at my phone in disgust before pressing it back up to my ear. “I hope your giving Joe the same lecture your giving me, Mom. At least I was there on Christmas.”

“Nicholas,” my mom said sternly, “you know Joseph had that big movie audition.”

“I had to put back the release date of my album in order to fly out to Texas over Christmas.” I stated, pacing around the sidewalk underneath me. I was probably making a scene, but I didn’t care. “I have fans to keep interested, Mom.”

“Oh, I think they’ll live without you for a few weeks.” My mom replied harshly. I stopped suddenly and felt my knees begin to turn weak. What was I doing? “Nicholas, everyone misses you here. Everyone, especially your father and I, are worried about you.
We hear more about you from magazines than we do yourself these days. I know your relationship with your brothers isn’t what it used to be, but if there is anyone that I was expecting to be willing to spend some time with his family, it was you.”

I stared at the red and white bus sign as the line between my mom and I continued to stay silent. Even if I didn’t want to see my brothers, or be reminded of my past that was left back in Texas, I didn’t want to let my mom down.

“I’ll go,” I mumbled, playing with my car keys as I glanced back up at the club that I had just left. Patrick was no where to be found, but I wasn’t about to go back in and search for him. “I’ll have to ask Patrick and my other managers. I’ll call you tomorrow.”

“Good.” My mom didn’t sound overjoyed when she replied. She didn’t seem thrilled that I had decided to fly out to Texas. She didn’t seem victorious about the fact that her guilt trip had gotten to me. “I’ll talk to you tomorrow, then.”

“Tomorrow.” I repeated, hanging up my phone quickly. I made my way to the parking complex that I had parked my car into and sighed lowly, watching as the vapor that left my mouth faded into the salty air.

Usually, the feeling of eyes following me comforted me. It gave me confidence. But tonight, it made me want to hide from the public and spend an entire night in my apartment with no one there to bother me.