Totally Not Average

I looked into the mirror one last time before grabbing my cell phone and heading downstairs. Outside the sun was setting but I knew that tonight would be a long one.

I was dressed in my light blue skinny jeans with a dark blue long-sleeved shirt. It was a v-neck, so I had a white tank-top under it. I was wearing all black converse and my hair was pulled up in a loose pony tail, my curls still bouncing up and down with every step.

I smacked my lips together and opened the front door to my house, and then closed it behind me. Alex’s car was present in my driveway; Alex, Jack, and Trish in it. I locked the door and made my way to the car. I opened the back seat and got in next to Trish.

“Hey everyone.” I called as Alex pulled out of my driveway.

“Hey.” Trish said, smiling at me.

“YO!” Jack yelled, grinning at me.

I laughed as he started bouncing up and down on the seat; I could tell he was excited for his performance tonight. Alex and the band (along with Trish, Sage, and Kara) were going to this party someone at our school was throwing. Apparently, they had asked All Time Low to play there because Trish had spread throughout the school that they were an awesome band.

So thanks to Trish, All Time Low had its first gig.

I was just tagging along to see them play, and just to get out of the house. I hadn’t been to a party in a long time, and I wanted to see all my other friends; even if they were just hypocritical back-stabbers. They were still my friends, you know?

Alex looked at me from the rearview mirror and winked at me. I blushed red and smiled back at him. Things with Alex had been better than ever, ever since that day at the music room. He was really holding up to that promise, and I was glad.

Mom’s deaths’ anniversary was coming up soon and it was putting me in a gloomy mood, even if I liked it or not.

“Are you alright?” Trish asked me, whispering low so no one would hear.

I didn’t think the others would listen, because Jack was attempting to sing a U2 song that was making everyone cringe. The radio was on, though, so if you concentrated enough on the song, then you would be able to block out Jack.

I nodded, “Yeah, I’m fine… why?” I turned to look at her, my blue eyes searching for something in her green ones.

“I know how in three days it’s going to be…” She looked around the car nervously, “The anniversary of your Mom’s death…”

I gulped, so she had remembered. Trish had been one of my real friends from the start. She was the person who was always there for me; especially when Mom died. When she migrated to the popular people, I followed because I thought that was what people expected of me.

I took a deep breath and faked a smile, “I’m fine, everything’s great.” Did she notice how my voice was shaking? How my heart was thumping faster? Thinking about it was hard enough, but talking about it? Nearly impossible for me. “I’m not going to let it get me down.”

She nodded, clearly buying my smile. I wondered if she really bought it, or if she was just pretending…? I didn’t want to lie to her, but I didn’t want to talk about this subject either. “Okay,” Alex pulled into the big house that was already packed with people, “Let’s go have some fun tonight!”

Trish cheered and got out of the car with Jack, both of them excited. It was nice to see that Trish was letting go a bit tonight. She had been so stressed lately, and now I was starting to wonder if that was because of me.

I stayed in the car a little bit longer, trying to calm myself down. I felt as if I was breaking down, but I couldn’t—not here in front of everyone. I wouldn’t allow myself to do that, not when Alex was out there waiting for me.

Alex.

His name was like a splash of cold water on my face. A took a deep breath, put a smile on my face and got out of the car. Like expected, Alex was leaning against the side of it, his arms crossed over his chest while he looked up at the sky.

“Hey.” I told him, “Are you ready to go kick some ass?” I said excitedly.

He chuckled, “Don’t try, Mandy, I know you’re upset.”

I frowned, “What? Why?”

He turned to look at me, his brown eyes boring into mine, “I don’t know why, but I can tell by look in your eyes.” His fingers brushed against my cheek, sending tingles down my back, “You’re different tonight.”

I looked away and shrugged, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” I lied, but I had a pretty good guess he could see right through me. He always had, even from the start.

“I don’t know what’s going on,” He put two fingers under my chin and tilted my head up so I could look into his eyes, “But I’m telling you this: I’m not going anywhere, no matter what, okay?”

Tears welled up in my eyes for no reason, “I…” I cut off, noticing my voice was choked with tears, “Okay.” I whispered.

“Now, let’s go have some fun!” He grinned at me, taking my hand and pulling me into the house.

I didn’t know what I was going to do about this—Alex could see right through me and it was starting to worry me. I didn’t want to tell him about Mom; not yet. I wanted things to stay the way they were, but it seemed like things were changing whether I wanted them too or not.

I walked through the door of the house and was assaulted by the smell of sweat, alcohol, and perfume. The smell wasn’t bad, it just took some getting used too.

Alex looked back at me, “I’m going to get things set up, okay?” He shouted in my ear.

I nodded and faked a smile, “I’ll be in the front row!” I told him.

He smirked at me and winked, and then left me alone in the crowd. As soon as he was gone from sight, I went straight to the kitchen, knowing that the only way to get through this night was to get wasted—and I mean really wasted.