Light Me On Fire

Ellie grabbed the keys from her ignition and looked at me. “Ready to go?”

I sighed. “As ready as I’m ever going to be.”

She laughed and grabbed her water bottle from the cup holder. “Well then, let’s go, Soph.”

As soon as my black and white Nike cleats touched the gravel of the school’s parking lot, I felt butterflies form in my stomach. I used the black hair-tie from my wrist to pull my hair into a low ponytail, and followed Ellie towards the back of the school, where the baseball field was located. I pulled the hem of my white and blue Superman baseball tee down, as I spotted Mr. Ramey, the softball coach. The last time I talked to him, was when I quit the team. Ellie walked in front of me, going into the dugout, where the rest of the girls who were trying out, were.

I sat down on the end of the bench, and felt my heart rate speed up. The only reason I was doing this, really, was to prove a point to John. I knew that I could still play, even if it had been awhile, and I wanted him to know that.

“Ettley?” a deep, thick voice called my last name; Mr. Ramey.

I looked up, and tried to give him a genuine smile. “Hi, Mr. Ramey. How’re you?”

He smiled, his cheeks meeting his dark brown eyes. “I’m fine, Sophia. What about you? I’m surprised to see you showed up. It’s been awhile.” He arched his brows.

I nodded my head. “I’ve been good, too. I know it’s been awhile, but I just figured I’d give softball another chance.”

He smiled and patted my shoulder. “I’m glad to hear it. We could use a good pitcher.”

I nodded my head. “It’s been awhile.”

He laughed. “With the arm you have, I doubt that would even matter.”

I could see Ellie glaring at me from the corner of my eye, but I ignored it. “I guess we’ll have to wait and see, Mr. Ramey.”

He nodded his head and walked to the front of the dugout. “Alright, girls, listen up! I’m going to split you up into groups, depending on what position you’re trying out for. Then – Anderson!” We all turned towards Rachel Anderson, who was now flustered from being called out. “Don’t make me have to punish my best batter!” He turned back to the group. “Now, as I was saying, I’ll be splitting you into groups, and evaluating your performances. Most of you have played on the team before, thus you know how this works. The better you play, the more points you’ll earn. At the end of the try out, you’ll know if you made the team or not. Got it?” Everyone nodded their heads. “Good! Now, I need my batters over here!” He began splitting everyone into their groups.

I looked at Ellie, as she walked over to me. “Are you nervous?”

She shook her head and kicked her cleats into the dirt. “Nope. I’m used to trying out.” She shrugged. “Why, are you?”

I nodded my head. “I’m nervous as fuck. I think I need a cigarette.”

She laughed. “You can’t smoke. And if you make the team, and Coach Ramey hears about you smoking, you won’t be able to play.”

I sighed and rolled my eyes. “Fuck my life.”

“Fielders!” he yelled.

Ellie smiled. “That’s me! I’ll see you out there!”

I gave her a small smile. “Good luck.”

She ran off towards the forming group, and I tapped my fingers on my thighs. I wanted this to be over already.

“Pitchers!”

I stood up, feeling my belly do flip-flops, and walked over towards him. He gave me a smile.

“Alright, I’m going to have each of you do a few practice rounds, and then I’ll have you go one by one, and throw three pitches. I’ll be critiquing you on your speed, accuracy and form. I wish each of you the best of luck!” He left us with a smile, and the five of us looked at each other.

I recognized only one girl, Amelia Jones. She was in mine and Ellie’s science class, but I had never spoken a word to her before. After a minute, we all walked out onto the field, and Mrs. Woods, Coach Ramey’s helper, handed us each a baseball. I clasped my hands tightly around the small ball, getting used to the feel of it once again. I traced the stitching with my thumbs, as I lined up with the rest of the girls.

Like Coach Ramey had said, we each got a few practice pitches. I was surprised to see that even after a few years of not pitching, I could do it well, sending the ball right where I wanted it to go. I could see a few of the other girls shooting me daggers. This is precisely why I hated joining sports teams – people were always pissed off at you if you didn’t play well, and when you did play good, they were jealous of you.

Eventually, Ramey numbered us and I happened to be number five – the last. I took my place in the line, as the first girl stepped onto the diamond. She had athletic arms, and I imagined she could throw hard. I watched Mr. Ramey jot down a few things on her paper; I couldn’t tell if the few words were good or bad. As the next girl stepped up, I looked into the bleachers and saw an orange-headed boy, a boy with dirty blond hair, a boy with dark brown hair, and a girl with the same brown hair: Nick, John, Kennedy, and Kelsi. I suddenly felt nauseous, and I could feel sweat beads forming on my brows, forehead, and behind my neck. Why did they come?

As the next girl was called, my stomach twisted even more. I was nervous because they would be watching me – my every move. But even more, I was nervous because I could feel John’s eyes on me. He came here to see if I had been bluffing about still being able to play; I just knew it. I swallowed and narrowed my eyes to the pitcher’s mound. I suddenly felt a shock of electricity course through me. I was going to pitch the best three fucking pitches of my life, because I needed to prove him wrong.

After what seemed like forever, Ramey called my name. I walked over to the diamond, standing in the center. I held the ball in my left hand, bringing it to my right. I pivoted my right foot, placing all of my weight onto it, as I pulled my left leg up, swiveling until my thigh was parallel with the ground – making my body sideways. I placed my hands above my head, and in one swift motion, released the ball; it hit the metal fence, making a loud noise as it did so. Ramey looked at me with a smirk on his face, and I knew he was pleased. I repeated the motions with the second and third pitches, before running towards the dugout. I could feel John’s eyes on my back, and I grinned.

“Holy shit, Sophia, you were amazing!” Ellie told me.

I smiled and shrugged. “I just did my best.”

She laughed. “I’m glad I wasn’t the fence.”

I chuckled and sat beside her. “How do you think you did?”

She looked out towards the bleachers; I knew exactly who she was looking at. “I think I did pretty good. Ramey seemed pleased.”

I nodded my head. “That’s good.”

Ellie and I continued to talk, until Ramey called all of us to the field. He ordered us to run the perimeter of the field twice, just to see what kind of physical condition we were in. As I began running, I let a string of curse words escape my mouth. I hated running, with a passion, and with the sun beating down upon me, I hated it even more. Ellie ran beside me.

“Don’t you just love running?”

I looked at her as if she had lost her mind. “Are you fucking serious?”

She laughed. “What? It’s such a great energy releaser.”

I rolled my eyes, and we continued to run for a few minutes, in silence. After the first five minutes, my breathing became heavier and I pushed myself to run faster, only so I could finish quicker. As soon as I reached the finishing point – Ramey holding out his hand for us to slap – I threw myself into the dirt and tried to catch my breath.

“You surprised me today, Ettley. Welcome back to the team,” he told me.

“Th … thank … you,” I heaved.

Ellie stood over me, laughing. “Come on, Sophie, get up!”

I flipped her off. “Lea … leave … me … alone.”

She sighed and grabbed my hands, pulling me into a sitting position. “Oh, come on, Soph. It wasn’t that bad! Plus, John, Nick, Kelsi and Kennedy are waiting on us!”

I rolled over, my back towards her, waving my hands. “Go on without me!”

I heard her laughing, and a few seconds later, two arms wrapped around me, pulling me from the ground. I could tell who the set of hands belonged to right away. “John, put me down!”

He laughed. “No, we’re hungry, and we can’t wait forever for you to get your ass off the ground.”

I pouted and rolled my eyes. “Where’s Nick?”

“Right behind you, babe,” he said.

I rolled my head back, seeing his beautiful face upside down. “Thanks for coming.”

He laughed and placed a kiss on the tip of my nose. “You’re welcome. You did amazing, by the way. I was surprised. I haven’t seen you play since … shit, I don’t know. Since I moved?”

I smiled, and suddenly felt my feet hit the ground. I looked at John, seeing an annoyed expression on his face. I rolled my eyes subtly, and walked over to Nick, grabbing his hand. “It has been awhile, but I don’t know about that long.” He laughed and laced his fingers with mine. “Where did Kelsi and Kennedy go?” I asked.

“To the car. I didn’t really want to ask why. They both looked like they were going to eat each other’s faces.”

I laughed. “Oh, God.”

“How does Panera sound?” John asked from behind us.

“Sounds good to me. What about you, Soph?” Nick asked.

I smiled and gave him a kiss on the cheek. “Sounds perfect.”

John walked quickly in front us, clearly irritated, dragging Ellie behind him. I could only laugh.