Green Day, Why Am I In Your Room?

Tre’s POV

I couldn’t believe we had won. We had won the big Grammy. Rock Album of the Year. Green Day had won.

We were taken backstage with the host while the next award was being prepared to be presented. As soon as we stepped off stage, I turned to Billie and Mike, who were grinning ear to ear.

“We did it, guys,” Billie said dazedly, tightly holding the trophy. He continued to stare at us in amazement. “It only took us fifteen years.”

“Aww, come here guys,” Mike said, pretending to wipe a tear from his eye. We pulled into a giant bear hug.

As we made our ways back to our seats, I couldn’t wait to celebrate Tash. It was our first award show together – and we had managed to come away with the big one. But when I got back to my seat, Tash was nowhere to be seen. Adrienne threw me a worried look over Billie’s shoulder, biting her lip and giving a suggestive nod in the way of the bathroom.

“I’ll be right back,” I said hastily to Mike, making my way past the people seated nearby. The cool air from outside the hall was a pleasant break, fully awakening me as I headed in the way of the ladies’ toilets.

“Tash?” My voice echoed around the empty bathroom. The cubicle down the end was the only one taken – and from inside I could hear stifled sobbing.

“Tash baby?” I asked quietly, gently tapping on the door. I heard a scuffling noise from inside until the door unclicked and slowly opened.

I could tell she had been crying. Her eyes were slightly pink while her eye makeup stained the top of her cheeks. She sniffed, desperately trying to compose herself.

“Tash?” I asked in alarm, taking her hand in mine. She pulled it back out, avoiding my gaze. She began to cry again, moving back and slumping herself down on the toilet seat. She held her head in her hands, refusing to look me in the eye.

“Tash, baby, please tell me what’s wrong,” I pleaded, crouching on the ground beside her. The excitement at having won a Grammy soon wore off; instead, I began to panic at what could possibly be wrong.

A sudden thought crossed my mind. “Are you feeling unwell because – because of something I said?” Maybe she didn’t want me thanking her on stage. Maybe she wasn’t as serious about me as I was about her… or didn’t want unnecessary publicity about it.

She shook her head.

“What is it, Tash?” I asked, taking her trembling hand.

“The – the baby, Tre,” she said miserably, lifting her head. Her eyes met mine, making me feel even more concerned.

“Don’t be scared, Tash,” I said soothingly. “I know you’ll be able to handle it just fine –“

“It’s not that, Tre,” she said, taking a ragged breath. “I’m not pregnant.”

“But – but – the test…you said it was positive-“

“And so I took it again, just to be sure – and I’m not pregnant.” Tears began to spill down her cheeks again.

I felt my heart skip a beat. I had begun to look forward to being a father again – and spending the rest of my life with the woman in front of me. “Why couldn’t you tell me?” I asked quietly, sitting back against the cubicle wall.

“I – I don’t know,” she said, biting her lip. “You – I…”

“Is it that you can’t trust me?” I asked, feeling extremely confused. “Or that you don’t love me anymore?” I could feel my blood turn cold. Why did she keep lying to me?

“No!” she cried, beginning to sob harder. “I love you more than words can imagine. And I hate myself for ruining it all. I can understand if you hate me too.”

“Ssh, Tash…” I said softly, pulling her up into a hug. I kissed her forehead. “But I thought we weren’t going to keep anything from one another anymore.”

“I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I can see why Matt left me in the first place.”

“Hey,” I said sharply. “Don’t you ever blame yourself for what that son of a bitch motherfucker did to you. It’s all I can do to stop myself from going after him,” I said firmly, pulling away so I could look into her eyes again. I ran my hand down her cheek. “I just want to know why you didn’t tell me.”

“I – you looked so excited,” she confessed, forcing herself to keep her gaze directed at me. “And I was scared. I’m not ready to be a mother, Tre.”

“I’m sorry,” I replied. “But Tash, please tell me from now on. Please. Every little thing, no matter what it is. Everything that’s bothering you, please tell me.” She nodded, hastily wiping the tears away from her eyes.

“Congratulations on your award, by the way,” she mumbled awkwardly. “And what you said on stage…”

“Anytime,” I said softly. “But you wait till the after party. Unfortunately I can’t spend them with hookers anymore…”

Tash laughed sadly, leading the way out of the cubicle to the sinks where she attempted in vain to clean herself up. We returned back to where the others were sitting, just explaining that Tash had felt a little faint due to the stuffiness of the hall.

Green Day managed to win three more Grammys that night – but somehow, I felt a little question nagging me deep down inside.

Would Tash ever stop lying to me?