Life to Live

“Can I wish for two more wishes?” Solaire’s voice was even, giving away no emotion.

Deus shook his head, confirming what Solaire already knew.

“I really love Arianne,” he answered, “I really want to be with her.”

Deus sighed, and something seemed to leave him. He slumped forward a bit.

Solaire looked up at the ceiling for a moment, as if it would give him some answer. “My choice is made. I already made it before, so now I simply confirm it.”

Deus’s young shoulders began to shake. Tears flowed from under his hands. “No…”

Solaire grinned again, and this time he laughed. “You expect me to choose myself over them?” he said. Deus looked up in disbelief.

“What?” Deus said sharply. The tears halted abruptly. “What do you mean?”

Solaire’s mischievous face faded, and he sighed.

“How did I end up here? I already made my choice, when I refused to kill Aline before. I told Arianne. I can’t let Adelaide suffer like I did. She accepted it. I accepted it. And besides,” Solaire smiled weakly, “I don’t think Arianne would like to see me up in Heaven if she knew I sacrificed your family to be there, even if she does love me. And she just kind of killed me, I think we’d need some time apart to recover from that.” He laughed again, now halfheartedly. “Any couple would suffer some if one of them had to kill the other.”

Deus flinched at this; he knew that it’d been painful for Solaire to watch Arianne kill him. He also knew what he was asking him to sacrifice. But the chance for his family to survive and even be happy was making his heart leap for joy. He tried to keep the emotion from his face, but it was clear as day his reaction at Solaire’s decision. His face seemed to light up.

Solaire watched the transformation on Deus’s face and grinned. He passed a hand over his eyes, sighing. “So what now? How do I go about the wish?”

Deus straightened up, hastily smearing the fresh tears from his face. “You simply state what your wish is. ‘I wish…’ And you say what your wish is.”

Solaire nodded. He straightened up as well, looked at himself. “…should I prepare myself in any way? A prayer, or something?”

Deus shook his head no.

Solaire nodded again, covered his face in his hands. He glanced up at Deus again, who looked excited. “Right…I think I might hate myself for this a little, but seeing your family happier will be worth it.” He took in a deep breath, and when he spoke again, his voice was calm, controlled.

“Angel Deus. I wish for you to do anything and everything in your power to make your family’s life better. I wish for you to help cure Aline’s illness, I wish for you to take away this family’s poverty. I wish for everyone in the family to be happy and healthy as soon as possible and for the rest of their lives.”

Solaire felt hollow and empty by the end of his little speech, but Deus smiled a smile so wide it looked as if his face would crack, he was so happy. It made Solaire cheer up a little, seeing the joy on this angelic child’s face. It would make him happier still to see that smile on his sister’s face, his niece’s face. Solaire let out the breath he’d been holding in and tried to beam back at Deus.

Deus ran over to Solaire and enveloped him in a surprisingly powerful hug. Solaire was startled; he didn’t know he could be hugged as a spirit, or even feel it. Yet he didn’t question it and hugged the young boy back.

“Thank you,” Deus murmured, “thank you so much…and I’m sorry. About Arianne, and everything. I’m sorry you lost it.”

Solaire sighed. “I know…I lost it, but at least it will give me something to play guardian to them along with you and watch them grow.” And at least you can see me right now, he thought. At least I’m not totally alone like I thought I’d be.

Suddenly, a sharp pain struck through Solaire. His body became stiff as a rod, as spasms of pain began throbbing through his body, centered in his back. He let out a cry.

“What—” Deus didn’t have time to finish because Solaire shoved him away blindly, not knowing what was going on. Deus only stepped away to watch, at first baffled but understanding what was happening.

Solaire doubled over, pain wracking his torso. It felt like his innards were being twisted around and a fire smoldered horribly inside of him. A knot tied inside his stomach and waves of pain shuddered through him. He choked out another cry, trying to keep in a yell. Tears began streaming down his face from the intense pain, like nothing he’d ever experienced before.

Something burst out of his back, or two somethings. They were white and gleaming, growing longer, two strong ivory things growing from his back, blood streaming from the source. The white ivory things, bones, began splitting, branching out, forming intricate structures, spreading out in a strange shape. Sinews began growing and covering them, starting from the base, along with nerves, tendons, everything developing rapidly to connect everything together. Veins, flesh covered the bones, and then skin covered the flesh, and then finally, feathers.