The Way to Believe

Sami and I were back in my room. We had left Hunter in her tree house. She hadn’t wanted me to come back here. But we had.

“Sorry ‘bout the purple.”

Sami looked a me curiously, “You know there’s one thing I don’t get. Where’s your mum?”

I started, “She’s dead.”

“What?” Sami just stood there, for what seemed like a hour, with her mouth hanging open. “What?” she said again.

“Yeah, car crash. The guy ran.” And I cried.

Sami hugged me, and held me while I balled. She’s not really the comforting type so, she didn’t say much. But all the same, it was a relief to, be with someone I knew, crying. It had been a whirlwind two days. I’m just surprised I held it together this long.

“Shush, shush, honey.” She pet my head.

I gulped and sniffled, “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay. You have every right to cry.”

“I know, but I still feel silly doing it.”

“You have no family, it’s not silly to cry.”

“Well, it still feels silly. Like I’m overreacting or something.”

She stared at me, “Overreacting? Overreacting? You’re not overreacting. I should think this is normal. Crying because your mum died. Jeez woman, what’s the matter with you?”

I let out a shaky laugh, “I dunno.”

“Come on. You said there were dresses. I’m surprised you haven’t tried to get me in one yet.”

…

“You know I can’t stay.”

“What?”

Sami looked at me, “I can’t stay here. In Neverland. I mean, I have to go home. What about my mum and dad? And I want to grow up. Even if you don’t.”

“You can’t leave me here. Alone.”

“You’ll do fine. Hell you’ve already made friends.” I’d told her about Tanya.

“You want to grow up? Why would you want to grow up?”

“Because I want to experience every part of life. Even old age and death.”

“You want to die?”

“When my time comes.”

“I don’t want to die. It’s scary, death. It can already sneak up on you. Why would you even want to grow old and die? Death gets everyone. Even the young. It’s not just for old people.”

“I know that.”

“So why leave?”

“To be with the people I love. Before they die”

“You love me? Don’t you?”

“Of course, but if you never grow up, you can always visit me. They can’t. Not even when they are living.”

“You could bring them here.”

“No, I couldn’t do that. They want to die too. They’ve seen life they don’t need to stay and experience more. They aren’t young like us. They know there is more to life than staying alive. Life’s not just about that, it’s about being with the ones you love. And about loving them.”

“I haven’t got anyone I love, ‘cept you.”

“Which is why I can leave. ‘Cause you’ll have to find others, and then you can forget about me.”

“Forget about you?” I asked incredulously.

“Yes, Iris, you can forget about me. I won’t mind.”

“Even if you don’t mind, I still can’t you’re my best-friend.”

“You can find another.”

“What if I don’t want to?”

“Well you’ll have to.”