Don't Tell Me, Cause I Don't Wanna Know
Suspicions
Sometimes I felt real bad about what I did.
I could've told Matt about me dealing, but I kept it a secret at first and now I was in too deep to tell him at all.
Besides, I think he'd just be disappointed in me.
But what I really felt bad about was selling drugs to him without him knowing.
It honestly made me feel like shit, but hell I had to make money, right?
I knew he was hooked on Vicodin, so I always kept a good supply of it for him and I always gave him a discount. He never knew, but it made me feel a bit better.
And sometimes it hurt to think that Vicodin could do something for him that I couldn't.
It made me think, was I doing something wrong?
I loved him, but sometimes he wasn't completely there. And I hated it.
Another thing I hated-- the looks he gave Jimmy. Right in fucking front of me!
But I had to slow myself down. It was probably nothing to get worked up about. I shouldn't be such a jealous bitch. He doesn't get jealous when I flirt with Val to beef up my reputation.
Still, if there's anything I need to worry about, it's Zacky.
He's been my best friend for god knows how long, and I know him well enough to know that look he gets on his face when he looks at Matt.
I sighed and rubbed my face.
Zacky was being so cryptic lately.
Sketchy about where he's been and what he's doing. He's away a lot. And I damn know he's hiding something.
But if I know him-- it'll come out when he's damn well ready. And I'll respect that.
Come to think of it, he's a bit like Matt.
Sometimes I wonder what he's hiding up there in his head. But I try not to worry about it.
With the sell I'd made to Zacky just earlier this morning, I could take Matt out this weekend. But, I'd been with him so much this week already.
I bit my lip.
What if someone became suspicious?
I could also take Val out with that money.
Keep people off my back for a while, and enjoy myself a bit, right?
Matt wouldn't like it, but he knew I loved him. Val was just a pretty cover.
Yep, a pretty cover.
I could've told Matt about me dealing, but I kept it a secret at first and now I was in too deep to tell him at all.
Besides, I think he'd just be disappointed in me.
But what I really felt bad about was selling drugs to him without him knowing.
It honestly made me feel like shit, but hell I had to make money, right?
I knew he was hooked on Vicodin, so I always kept a good supply of it for him and I always gave him a discount. He never knew, but it made me feel a bit better.
And sometimes it hurt to think that Vicodin could do something for him that I couldn't.
It made me think, was I doing something wrong?
I loved him, but sometimes he wasn't completely there. And I hated it.
Another thing I hated-- the looks he gave Jimmy. Right in fucking front of me!
But I had to slow myself down. It was probably nothing to get worked up about. I shouldn't be such a jealous bitch. He doesn't get jealous when I flirt with Val to beef up my reputation.
Still, if there's anything I need to worry about, it's Zacky.
He's been my best friend for god knows how long, and I know him well enough to know that look he gets on his face when he looks at Matt.
I sighed and rubbed my face.
Zacky was being so cryptic lately.
Sketchy about where he's been and what he's doing. He's away a lot. And I damn know he's hiding something.
But if I know him-- it'll come out when he's damn well ready. And I'll respect that.
Come to think of it, he's a bit like Matt.
Sometimes I wonder what he's hiding up there in his head. But I try not to worry about it.
With the sell I'd made to Zacky just earlier this morning, I could take Matt out this weekend. But, I'd been with him so much this week already.
I bit my lip.
What if someone became suspicious?
I could also take Val out with that money.
Keep people off my back for a while, and enjoy myself a bit, right?
Matt wouldn't like it, but he knew I loved him. Val was just a pretty cover.
Yep, a pretty cover.
♠ ♠ ♠
Er, well. A bit short there. Sorry. :)