What Can You Not Buy With Money?

It had been only two seconds before we hit the ground. At first I thought we had died, but when the whoosh of the elevator doors sliding whisked my eyes open, I saw that we were at the lobby floor.

“We must have been only a few feet from the ground floor,” Burgess murmured as he helped me up to my feet. We both quickly left the elevator; I was close to hugging the solid ground and kissing it. We were alive!

“Come on,” Burgess himself looked relieved. “Do you want to come back to my place, or should I take you home?”

“We could go to my place. It’s quiet,” I wanted to spend more time with him, but I was burning with embarrassment for how I made it sound. I sucked at separating innocent conversation to sexual innuendo whenever I spoke.

“Sure,” Burgess smirked, though there was awareness in his eye that made me relax. He wasn't going to start anything that night, and that gave me enough reassurance to be at ease.

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“Ben, do you want me to come with you?” I placed my hand over his shoulder as we stood in front of the San Diego County Psychiatric Hospital.

It was early January, the beginning of that New Year that I had many dreams for. Burgess had told me that night after the elevator incident that he wanted to see his father. He didn’t specify why, but I agreed that it had to be done.

Richard Burgess’ trial wasn’t for many months, but he was classified as mentally imbalanced and placed in that asylum, his diagnosis was manic depression.

“Yes,” Burgess nodded, his eyes cold and I could feel the icy walls that he built to protect himself.

We entered, greeted by the smell of rubbing alcohol and remnants of antidepressants.

“Hi,” An Asian nurse, young and with a kind smile approached with clipboard in hand. “Mr. Burgess; Ms. Hall, my name is Praia Ching. I will be your escort during your visit today. Please, follow me.” She turned and led us through the halls, where many patients were always accompanied by a doctor or a nurse.

As my eyes explored the area, I noticed that they all looked drained, exhausted, and misery was apparent in their body language. I felt depressed looking at them, all those people wearing the grey uniforms and their vacant eyes looking bleakly into nothing.

“Many of these patients need to be placed under heavy medication in order to control their outbursts,” Praia explained as Burgess and I studied the behavior among the patients.

We were brought to a private room, where a groomed Richard Burgess was watching the television, his expression emotionless and vacant.

“Richard, you have visitors,” Praia announced as she opened the door to let us in.

I was hesitant, but Burgess bravely approached the man, one hand over his mouth in a grimace as he stared at the side of his father’s face, the other hand raised to touch the part of his stomach that was scarred by the bullet instinctively.

“What do you want?” Richard’s gruff voice was full of anger as he refused to turn his attention from the television.

“To make things right,” Ben’s jaw muscle flexed through his well sculpted face, his face a mold of suffering.

“It’s impossible to make anything right, son. You know that,” The old man turned and his aged silver eyes were full of remorse. “But I sure as hell know when to apologize.”

“Right,” Burgess looked away but back at his father. There was a hope in the way Burgess turned his head, but curiosity was the first key to be played. “Did you really think you could have succeeded that day?”

“Yes, I did. I thought I would get my life back.” Richard gestured at the chair next to him for Burgess to sit down in. Ben obeyed his parent without fear, and I chose to stay at the corner with the nurse as father and son made amends. I couldn’t help but hear them as they exchanged in dialogue, and I put my hand in my large sweater pocket, feeling the glass encased Kadupul flower. I brought it, not to show Ben but to return it to the man who bitterly lived the remnants of his life. I could barely feel the thin crack on the crystal, a scar that symbolized how damaged this relationship between parent and child was.

“Dad,” Ben looked frustrated, angry. He leaned forward with a need for peace. There was desperation in the curl of Ben’s frown. Because even though Benjamin Burgess was a proud and arrogant young man, that could not cloud the fact that he still wished for a final end to this chapter. “Do you think that I’m your enemy?”

“Yes,” Richard nodded slowly. “It was my company, my hard work. I wasn’t ready to give up my livelihood just yet. I practically gave up my limbs to keep that corporation going, and you dived in and robbed me of my divine right.”

“You’re selfish, dad,” Ben accused, quietly abrasive as his voice echoed around the room despite the lack of volume. I felt the hairs on the back of my neck stand, and I shivered at the anticipation with worry. “I can’t even begin to tell you how much of a failure you turned out to be for my father.”

“Shut up, I may be at rock bottom but I am your parent. I brought you into this world and you will give me the respect I deserve.” Richard had a short temper, and he started to rant, his old voice trembling as he spoke with passion.

“You never deserved the right to be called my father,” Ben replied. “You never were a dad, and I needed a parent. But instead you were never around. Even when you didn’t have to work, you always chose to leave me alone.”

“Quiet, you son of a bitch.” Richard forced himself up on his feet. “I’m not going to be told off by my own son. Get out,” He pointed a trembling finger to the exit. “Don’t come back.”

Ben also went to his feet. “Fine, Richard. I tried, but now I’ll blot you from my life. I have no father.”

Ben Burgess left, storming out of the room and left me behind. The nurse had followed my boss, forgetting about me.

“And what are you still doing here?” Richard snapped angrily.

I looked at him coolly, almost passively. But I knew what I had to say. “You chose your life,” I began, “And that was your second chance. But I guess you just want to be miserable and alone.” I took out the glass cube, and walked over to hand it to him politely, though I had disgust in my voice. “I’m glad your son is nothing like you, people like you don’t deserve to have children. I’m sure if Ben’s mother hadn’t died giving him life, she would die at knowing that you’re killing him now.”

Richard looked at me, his bloodshot eyes starting to shine in tears as he took his precious prize, the frozen flower. I turned around to leave.

“What about you?” The Burgess senior was demanding for me to stay, his voice pleading for me not to turn my back on him. “You think you’re so much better than me?”

“Yes,” I turned to him. “Unlike you, I would never break his heart.”

“I wouldn’t be so sure,” Richard scoffed, his eyes squinted as he mocked my words. “You’re naïve if you believe that there’ll be a happily ever after with him. That boy is nothing but a walking tragedy. You both are going to end up miserable and alone.”

“At least we’re going to try,” I shot back, my own frustration and fury coming to life like an awakening from hell. “Unlike you, who just sits there feeling sorry for yourself. You won’t even do the right thing because you’re too proud.”

A frown creased in Richard Burgess’ face, and he nodded in surrender. There was a hopelessness, showing how useless the man had become. “All right,” he muttered as he looked up to me with control and fire. “Prove me wrong. Take care of my son, and make him happy. But if you fail, I’ll tell you I told you so.”

“That’s never going to happen,” I promised as I escaped.