I Swear I Love You

Jess’ POV

Brian?

If I hadn’t seen his face, I certainly wouldn’t have thought that standing in front of me, with an arm wrapped around my sister’s waist, was the same Brian that I had called my best friend since kindergarten. You would have thought, that at least once, he might have mentioned he was seeing my sister.

Without an ounce of care I marched over and interrupted the conversation he was having with my parents, leaving Jimmy in my wake. “Hey… Brian? May I talk to you?”

Clearly he must not have known the reason behind this dinner since he obviously didn’t know I was meant to be coming- that is, if the shocked expression he held was anything to go by. “Jess? What are you-?”

“It’s hers and Jimmy’s celebration dinner,” Holly interjected, ignoring the daggers I shot her. Now I don’t think my argument was going to be as strong as it was before it came to light what Jimmy and I were essentially doing now, even if it were just pretending.

Before she could go into the details of exactly what were celebrating- although I highly doubted that Brian hadn’t already clicked on that anyway- I swiftly grabbed him by the arm and hauled him off to the side. Jimmy had started to follow but I just shot him a look that told him to stay back, which thankfully he abided to.

“What the hell do you think you are doing?”

He merely folded his arms across his chest and frowned. “What do you mean?”

“How about dating my sister and never telling me?” I replied scathingly. “Or did that just slip your mind?”

He sighed. “It happened when you were in Australia Jess.”

“Then why are you meeting up with her now?”

“I haven’t seen her in a long time; why else?” When I wasn’t buying it, he sighed, running a hand through his onyx peaks. “We’re just friends Jess.”

I scoffed. “Yeah right; or was that someone else I saw with an arm around my sister?”

“I was hugging her Jess.”

My eyes narrowed. “That was a different kind of hug to what I’m used to seeing.”

He sighed again. “There’s nothing happening between us anymore.”

“You still could have told me!”

“So what? So you could just yell at me for doing something I’ve already done?” He said defensively. “Come on; tell me that you would have just yelled at me for doing it.”

My cheeks burned. That’s exactly what I would have done. “Well I’ve got a good reason to!”

“And what’s that?”

“She’s my baby sister! I’m meant to look out for her!”

“What, from half way across the world?” He snorted. “Holly’s not stupid you know.”

“I know that!”

“Then why can’t you trust her into thinking that perhaps she actually liked me?”

It was actually hard for me to find an answer. “But you’re meant to be my best friend!”

“So that means two people can’t be happy just because we’re best friends?” He laughed when I lapsed into silence. “You know, what you told me back in Huntington was actually right. You are selfish.”

“I’m…” I stepped back reflexively out of shock. “I’m selfish?”

“Of course you are,” he replied simply. “Take it from your best friend; I know. Anyway, when have Iever said anything since we’ve been on tour about you and Rev? Huh? I haven’t stopped you, and clearly, you seem to be taking advantage of that.” He shrugged. “If you don’t want me to have anything to do with Holly, even though I’m not anyway, then I won’t.”

I looked up at him. “What?”

“If you don’t want me see your sister because you don’t want us together, then I won’t. However you’ll have to explain to her why.”

My gaze dropped in silence. I couldn’t do that to her; we all thought Holly would never find anyone she could actually click with, since it seemed like she was after the perfect man who didn’t exist. But then she found him. I just can’t help but wish that it could have been anyone else in the world that wasn’t my best friend.

Something warm slid down my cheek and I could already tell I was crying long before I saw the teardrops hit the ground. Brian did try to reach out for me but I just brushed him off- this had been pretty much the first time I had seen him since I had left a week earlier for my parent’s house, and it just seemed like a replay of the icy relationship we shared back then. Perhaps it had just been an omen.

“Do you know what Brian?” His defensive posture lessened slightly as he looked upon my grief-stricken eyes. I almost thought that I saw fear in his eyes from my crying; shock from the fact he had actually hurt me. “You’re right. I am selfish. But I’m not going to hurt my sister.”

I turned to leave; stopping only when Brian called out to me. “What do you mean by that?”

I smiled wryly. “Consider this the end of our friendship.”

Still in tears I left him and walked back towards the restaurant where everyone else was waiting. I didn’t stop however; I just kept on walking.

“Jess?” Ignoring Jimmy’s call I just kept on going, attempting not to pay attention to my ankle which began to start playing up again as I was trying to make a hasty exit. Clearly it wasn’t hasty enough since Jimmy soon jogged up to my side, grabbing me by the arm to still my movements. “Jess? What’s wrong? What happened?”

Even though I tried not to let him see my downcast expression he moved in front of me and pushed back a couple of the curls with a gentle touch. He immediately fell into his normal protective manner, and instantly began his accusations to find out what he had to do to ‘straighten things out’. “What did he do?” He planted both hands on my shoulders as he stared at me. “What did he say Jess?”

I shrugged him off and began walking away again. “It doesn’t matter.”

He reached out again for my wrist. “Yes it does.” He pulled me back so that I was forced to look at him. “Tell me what is wrong.”

Couldn’t he see I didn’t want to talk about it?“I just want to go home.”

“Come on Jess, we’ve only just got here,” he reasoned, now attempting to pull me back in the direction of the restaurant. “Everyone is waiting-”

“I don’t want to go okay?!” I snapped, yanking my wrist free of his grip. “I’m going home.”

“To what home?”

I faltered. In one home was my sister, the very person who I couldn’t bear to look in the eye right now. In the other was Brian, the person who I could look in the eye but not without dissolving into tears as a result. Even just thinking of him hurt.

“I don’t know.”

He frowned but didn’t say anything about it, merely wrapping his arms around me. The only bad thing about his embrace was that it just reminded me of the way Brian used to do it, which just ended up in my crying intensifying. I think I actually scared him then.

“Jess, please don’t cry,” he murmured, tightening his hold on me. He was at a complete loss at what to do. “Please don’t cry.”

“Jessica!” A little while back her parents called out to us, which just resulted in me retreating further into Jimmy’s arms, trying to hide. I couldn’t let them see me like this. “Hurry up or they’ll give away our reservation!”

“You really don’t want to go, do you?” He sounded disappointed; it almost hurt me to nod. “Okay, wait here for me then we’ll go, alright?” He rubbed at my shoulder before he turned and walked briefly back to where my parents, sister and ex-best friend stood, making out that I wasn’t feeling well and that he was going to take me home. My family’s expressions dropped but reluctantly agreed that they would still and go have dinner despite us not being there, sending their wishes for my speedy recovery with Jimmy as he returned to my side and started to hail down a cab.

“I’m sorry that you’re not going to the dinner,” I murmured as Jimmy was giving the driver the address to the venue. “I know you wanted to go.”

“It doesn’t matter,” he replied. “There was no point in going if you’re not happy to be there.”

--

Jimmy’s POV

Jess never did tell me what had happened between her and Brian; all I could do was hold her in my arms and she cried into my chest for the next hour. We never had the chance to change out of our formal outfits so when the others came back from checking out the water parks- namely Matt, Val, Zack and Johnny, the latter having met up with the other two later- their confusion multiplied. Not only had they unanswered questions about why she was crying in the first place, but why the hell we were dressed like that in the first place. Couple that also with the fact we hadn’t actually been talking to each other for the past week and now I was comforting her just made the situation sit on the boundaries of the unreal.

“Jess?” Val tentatively edged closer to the depressed female and lightly touched her on the arm. “What’s wrong?” When she didn’t get an answer she repeated her question to me. “What’s wrong?”

“I don’t know.”

She frowned. “Something must have happened. Let me try.” Despite my protests she had somehow managed to wriggle herself in between my arms and Jess, easily taking over my position. As a result I got to my feet and huffed, retreating to where the other guys were standing nearer the front.

“What’s up with her?”

Much like with Val, I couldn’t exactly answer. Well- I couldn’t answer at all because I didn’t know, so I simply shrugged a reply.

“Is it still about the whole Houston incident?”

I groaned. Thanks Johnny. “No, it’s not.”

“Speaking of which…” Both Matt and Zack now looked incredibly interested in the conversation since obviously they hadn’t filled in on what had happened earlier in the tour. “What did happen back in Texas?”

“It doesn’t matter.”

“Aw come on Rev,” Zack whined. “We want to know! What happened to being friends?”

I laughed scornfully. Wasn’t that what Brian and Jess were meant to be?“Some things are meant to be kept secret. I’m sure there are things about you that you don’t want to tell people.”

He knew I was alright, but that didn’t stop him. “Aw, come on! I won’t laugh; I promise!”

“It’s nothing to laugh about.” Thankfully Zack couldn’t press the issue any further since Val called me back over. Jess was no longer there. “Where’s Jess?”

“I set her up in your bunk; I don’t think she could last until the hotel. Poor thing has practically cried herself to sleep.”

“Do you know what’s wrong?”

After all the time she had to find out, she merely shrugged. “I don’t know.”

I sighed. Great.

“She said something about Brian though.”

“Brian?” I snorted. “I guessed as much.”

“You guessed as much?”

“Yeah…” I slumped next to Val on the couch. “She and Brian were talking about something outside the restaurant we were at.”

She blinked at me in surprise. “You were out on a date?”

“What? No!” I quickly answered. “We were having dinner with her family.”

“And Brian was there?”

“Well…” I laughed nervously. I didn’t exactly want to say what I was going to next, especially when I knew what replies I would get as a result. “We were kind of going as couples, so Brian was there with Holly, Jess’ sister, then there were her parents and then…uh…” I cut myself off, scratching sheepishly at the back of my head. As luck would have it though, someone else helpfully picked up where I had left off.

“You and Jess?”

“Me and Jess,” I agreed.

“So… you’re actually going to try it out?” Val asked. “As a couple and everything?”

“I hope so.” I grinned. “She hasn’t given me a definite answer or anything, but I think so.”I paused, repeating myself. "I hope so."

She smiled, wrapping her arms around me. “My little Jimmy is growing up so fast.”

“How can you call me little when I’m taller than you, little Valary?” I remarked, patting her head for emphasis. “You’ve never been taller than me.”

“Maybe not, but remember I know everything about you,” she replied casually, breaking the hug to begin walking to the steps, pausing once she got there. “And I can use that to cut you down.”