I Don't Like Your Boyfriend

“Today class we will be drawing our day. Use different colors to describe your feelings.” My art teacher told us before we were able to begin. Roza and I went to the paint. I thought about how I felt when I woke that morning and took red, blue and green.

Green for jealousy for seeing Lora kiss Antonio.

A dark voice said in the back of my head and I squashed it and buried it. Back at the table Antonio was already starting his painting. I looked at the blank paper in front of me. It was a pretty big construction paper but it was so the paint would bleed through the back.

I dipped the dried brush into my cup of water and then went to the red. I had a nightmare again and I woke up angry again. Then I put just a bunch of mix colors because I was nervous about facing Lora. Then there was the small happiness of being with Sterling and how it crashed down when I saw Lora and Antonio.

Then again mixed colors for my mixed feelings about Antonio in Anatomy class. In nutrition there was that happy color (purple because it’s my favorite color) and it was because of Sterling. Finally I ended with mixed colors again because of my mixed feelings towards Antonio.

I looked over to Roza and it looked like she had a rough morning. She grinned at me as she splattered some red paint all over the paper.

“Why did you do that?” I asked.

“Because I’m always a little angry through out the day.”

“Must be tough to be you.” I muttered.

“It is a challenge, but I bet it’s easier than yours.” Roza said.

“What makes you say that?” I asked.

“All of this.” She pointed to the mix colors. “Is because of that.” She pointed to Antonio.

I scoffed several times and then chuckled nervously. “Nah!!! What-what is that supposed to mean? There’s nothing--”

“Oh, please, a blind man could see Antonio has had the hots for you since you’ve met him and you,” she smirked, “is slowly falling for him. Not that I blame you because Antonio is totally fine.”

“And I totally have a boyfriend.”

“True. Your eyes do sparkle when you see Sterling and he’s fine as hell too.” Roza said as she chewed on the inside of her cheek. “Hmm, my life is so much better than yours.”

“Thanks for being a friend.” I grinned and smiled sarcastically.

She saluted me. “Always there for you.”

I laughed and rolled my eyes. I looked at Antonio’s painting. His morning seemed all right and then there was some green and red in there. Jealousy and anger? I somehow ended up staring at his strong hands. I could see how manly they were. From his hands my eyes went up to his face again. He was really concentrated on the painting. His mouth was twisted to the side in thought and concentration.

He looked cute.

Oh gosh. Roza was right. I was slowly falling for Antonio.

He’s a womanizer. I thought. And he’s with my best friend and… his eyes are so dreamy.

I snapped myself out of those thoughts. After class I was so glad I could have alone time. No Luke, no Sterling and no Antonio. In English it was those rare days where the teacher didn’t want to teach so we had ‘study time’ which was actually ‘free time’.

I turned on my I-Pod and the first song that came on was La-la-la by LMFAO. I thought of changing the song but I liked it way too much to change it. My mind went back to the dance Antonio and I had together.

At lunch Luke and I were talking. Sterling was late again. I killed the thought that told me that he was with Cruella because of the text. No, I had to believe he was faithful to me. I was faithful to him… physically. Antonio and I had our close moments but never went further so I had to believe Sterling did the same.

I felt Antonio’s eyes on me and I don’t know how he knew I was worried. I sure didn’t put it in my face because I was smiling but Antonio looked like he knew what I was going through.

“--and then we should finish with a double split.” Luke said. He snapped his fingers in front of me and I gave him a cheesy smile.

“Sorry… spaced off… again.”

“I know. You had that look on your face.” Luke muttered. “What is on your mind?” He asked.

“Nothing.” I lied and my voice came out in a high pitch voice.

“Oh, you are so lying.”

“Am not.” High pitch voice again.

“Your voice was high pitched, that is a dead give away, Ed.”

I groaned. “Damn you and your smartness… I’m worried about… Sterling.” I whispered.

“About what?” He asked.

“I saw that he was texting Cruella in the morning.”

“They’re families are really close, Ed, they’re bound to cross paths.”

“But he has never texted her and I know because I would’ve known.”

Luke looked at my worried face. “You think he’s cheating on you.”

“No… maybe… I mean…” I didn’t finish because I had no excuse. “Things are good… except for we don’t hang out as much as we did but I understand. He has family.”

“And you’ve only met his parents once.” Luke added.

I gave him a hard look.

“Isn’t it true, though?” He asked.

I pursed my lips and lowered my head. “Yeah. Sometimes he makes me feel like he’s embarrassed by me. What should I do?”

“Ed, don’t ask me that because if you want an honest answer it won’t be good.”

“Just tell me. You’re my best friend, Luke. My go-to guy and you can’t fail me now.” I pouted my lips and put my hands together.

“It’s a selfish answer.” He didn’t need to say more.

“You think I should break up with him.”

“I think you deserve someone with no secrets. Someone who knows you inside and out.” He smiled.

“You’ve become very bold, Luke.”

He shrugs. “I think if I want to be with you I should be bold.”

I smiled and cupped his face. “I love you.”

“Yeah, I know… but like a brother.”

I exhaled deeply and took my hand back. I saw Sterling come to the table. He sat down next to me and I was between Luke and Sterling. Sterling kissed me deeply and until we both needed air.

“Sorry, got held up by the teacher again.”

“No problem.” I smiled.

But it was a problem. He was lying.