In Over My Head Zack Merrick

Zack

I knew she was upset. I knew Jason was upset. They both had every right to be.
Once the lady finally left me alone, I sat down in an empty booth alone, groaning to myself quietly. Why does my job keep fucking my family up?

Taylor finally came out of the bathroom, my son on her hip. We ordered, and the drive home was silent, except for Jason’s TV. I hated the silence. Taylor wouldn’t even look at me.

Once home, she practically leaped out of the car, and unbuckled Jason. She hit the garage door opener on the flip out mirror in the car, and entered the house through the garage, so she didn’t have to wait for me to open the front door.

“Shit fuck dammit,” I mumbled to myself. And the worst part was I had to tell them I had to leave again next week. Why is she still with me?

I went through the garage, and closed it before going into the house. I heard the pitter patter of little baby feet coming towards us, and my son outstretched his arms to me, signaling he wanted me to pick him up and I did so.

‘Dada?” I nodded for him to continue. “How comes you always tell da people you and momma are cousins? You never say you’re my daddy,”

I wanted to die. I couldn’t let this keep affecting my family. It wasn’t fair to either of them. I wish I could make it stop, I wish I could let them have a normal life, but because of me denying having a son with Taylor, and lying about who she really is, they cant have that. And I hate myself for that.

“Well, you know how daddy’s a big musician?” Jason nodded. “Well… I just don’t want people to be bothering you and mommy about me being famous all the time. When you get older, you’ll understand. All you need to know now, is that daddy loves you very, very much.” I said. My heart felt like it was being stabbed.

Jason simply nodded and hugged my neck, and I put him down. “Wait, Jason,” I stopped him really fast before he scampered off to go play. “Do you know where mommy is?” I asked.

He pointed up the stairs. I nodded, and went up there. I knew I was in for it, and I deserved it.

I knocked softly on our bedroom door and opened it up, to see Taylor, lying face flat on our bed. He body was rising and falling, and I heard muffled cries. I ran a hand over my face. I loved her so much…

“Baby, I’m-”

“Sorry, I know Zack, you’re sorry,” She finished for me, she lifted her face from the comforter, and her eyes were red and puffy, her makeup was washed away, but she was still beautiful. I didn’t deserve her, or my amazing son.

I sighed. “I love you,”

“You know, sometimes that isn’t enough,” She sniffled. I wrapped my arms around her.

“You’d get harassed by paparazzi so much if they knew… I was just trying to help.” I said.

“But Jason probably think that you don’t want people to know we’re a family! He probably thinks his own father is embarrassed of him! I just want my son to have a dad who will be there for all of his baseball games, and school plays. I want him to grow up normal.” She said, with so many different emotions coating the words I knew were absolutely true.

“Tay, come here,” I sat down on the bed, and opened my arms. She crawled into my lap, and I rocked her back and forth, holding her small body to me tightly. “I wish my career didn’t interfere with you guys so much,” I mumbled. “I want our son to grow up normal just as much as you do, baby girl.”

She connected our lips. “I miss you,” She whimpered.

“I’m right here,” I pressed our lips together again. We couldn’t be up here much longer, because Jason would be coming up soon.

“But you wont be for long… You’re gonna have to leave soon, aren’t you?” She said softly.

“Next week,” She sighed, fresh tears rolling down. “Baby, please don’t cry. I’ll only be gone two weeks.”

“I can’t take never seeing you,” She cried.

“Taylor, I know, but there’s nothing I can do, I wish I could change it,” I kissed her forehead. “But I love you, so much.”

“I love you too. I just hate being alone so much.” She mumbled.