Look At The Mess You've Made

Kallie Mutry stared at her wall, mulling over the previous day’s events. After the blow, she couldn’t think straight. She went to work, ignoring everyone around her until her boss sent her home for fear of an illness. At home, she sat watching movie after movie on whatever the last channel her mom had on was, ignoring phone calls and texts, and her mother’s plea for her to eat dinner. Close to nine, she got in the shower, unaware of the cold water hitting her body. Once she got out, she sat on her bed, still not sure how she had gotten through the day. She wasn’t sure why now, at 2:17 in the morning, she suddenly felt emotion. She felt like destroying everything in sight so she couldn’t remember any of the past year and a half. She restrained herself as best as she could, instead quietly storming out of her house, grabbing her keys as she went. As soon as she stepped outside she cursed herself for wearing short sleeves; the UK was currently experiencing one of the coldest winters they’ve had in a long time. Kallie couldn’t help but see the irony of the night’s chill.

Just 48 hours before she had felt the happiest she had felt in a long time. Her grades were improving greatly, she found out she had gotten a scholarship to study fashion in New York next year, and she had a loving boyfriend of a little over a year and a half.

Kallie started talking to Joshua Franceschi two years previous at a mutual friend’s Christmas party. The only problem with the conversation they had was that Kallie didn’t remember a single word of it, or any actions that may or may not have followed. She woke up with various articles of clothing missing off her body, a headache, and next to a boy she vaguely remembered from the night before. She had no idea what happened, and she didn’t want to find out, so she quickly gathered her correct pieces of clothing, but froze when she heard a voice coming from the bed. The boy asked her why she was leaving so soon, and still quite startled, Kallie couldn’t answer. Laughing, the boy introduced himself as Josh and invited Kallie to breakfast. She hesitantly obliged before being whisked to a small green sedan parked a block away from the house. On the car ride, it was discovered that the two attended school together, though a year apart. Josh told Kallie that he’d seen her around school, but she had never noticed him. Though that dampened his mood, he didn’t let it show and continued to charm Kallie. After breakfast, they exchanged phone numbers and promised to look for each other at school once it resumed.

They had a few text conversations over the remainder of break, but on the second day back at school Josh spotted Kallie at lunch and sauntered over to her. One of Kallie’s friends looked up, confused why the “hottest boy in school” was coming over to their table. Kallie looked over, smiled, and greeted Josh with a hug. Her friend, obviously jealous, cleared her throat to let Kallie know she wanted to be introduced. Josh showed no interest as he shook hands with the short blonde girl, instead keeping his eyes on the slightly taller brunette to his left. He invited Kallie to sit with him the next day at lunch, to which she happily obliged. After eating together for the rest of the week, they made plans to see a movie on Saturday night. They continued on like this for a few months, not doing anything more than talking, until one day at lunch, Josh asked Kallie out on a date. She was confused, thinking that every time they’d hung out before had been like a date, but he embarrassingly told her that he wanted to go out on a real date with her, the “dress up, fancy kind,” as he eloquently put it. Laughing, Kallie agreed and Josh made reservations for the next night at one of their town’s fancier restaurants. At the end of the date, he asked her if she’d like to go look at the stars, and she replied that she’d love to. Once they were settled, sitting on the hood of Josh’s car wrapped in a blanket, Josh whispered in her ear and asked if she’d like to be his girlfriend. She happily said yes and they shared their first not drunken kiss.

The relationship progressed relatively fast, with minor bumps along the way. The pair didn’t have a significant fight until five months in, when Josh decided not to tell Kallie about a party he was attending one weekend. Josh had said he had to stay home for the night because of a family party, so when Kallie showed up at the same party, she was welcomed to the kitchen by the sight of her boyfriend cuddling with a girl at least two years younger, she lost it. When Josh caught Kallie storming out of the room, and he quickly ran up to her, telling her nothing had happened, that there were others around to vie for him. She told him she was more upset at the fact that he had lied to her, but she forgave him before he could even apologize. Noticing how easily he had won her forgiveness, Josh took to random hookups at parties when Kallie had to work. His friends started to think he was acting strangely one day, but shook it off and didn’t say anything.

Right after Josh and Kallie’s one year anniversary, Josh met Lea at a coffee shop. She had accidentally spilled Josh’s coffee and had to remake it, and they started talking while she did so. Lea invited Josh to a party she was having at her apartment that weekend, and he told her he’d be there. The next day at school, Kallie asked Josh what his plans for the weekend were, and he made up something about going to visit his aunt overnight on Saturday, but promised he could catch a movie or go to dinner Sunday night. Kallie sighed, but accepted his answer. Over the past few months, she’d noticed Josh growing more and more distant with each passing week. She chose to ignore it, as she had been doing for a while now.

That Saturday, Josh arrived at Lea’s around nine o’clock. He was figuring this would be some huge party, and was surprised to see only a dozen or so other people walking around the tiny apartment. Lea greeted him and quickly introduced him to the other guests, while handing him a beer. He graciously accepted, and before the hour was up he’d drank nearly six more. He sat down on a couch watching other guest, whose names he’d long forgotten, play Guitar Hero. He was focused on the drummer, though. As soon as the song had finished, Lea looked behind her and saw Josh staring. Smiling, she quickly led him to her bedroom.

When he awoke the next day, he saw he had three missed calls from Kallie. He listened to her voicemail, saying she had picked up another shift and had to cancel for that night. Not thinking of his girlfriend, Josh wandered to the main room of the apartment to see everyone had left. He went behind Lea and told her he’d like to see her again. She smiled and said she’d like the same, and that one of her friends had told her about a party that weekend an hour out of their town. Josh agreed to accompany her, still not thinking about his girlfriend.

This continued for the next three months, with Josh inviting Lea over for a weekend when his parents were out of town. Kallie still hadn’t brought up the fact that she was seeing less and less of her boyfriend, though she was starting to suspect something was up Josh invited Kallie to have dinner with his family one Friday night while Lea was working. Kallie happily accepted, hoping that this was the start of another happy chapter of their relationship. Sitting in Josh’s bedroom before dinner, they had their first actual conversation since Josh had begun seeing Lea. After a few minutes, Kallie stated she was cold and reached into Josh’s closet to grab a hoodie. Before he could stop her, she pulled out a girl’s shirt. Confused, Josh tried to explain but Kallie quickly cut him off, demanding the truth. She told him that he’d been acting strangely for a long time now, and she was too dumb to realize what was actually going on. Josh let her finish ranting before he gave a simple “I’m sorry,” to which Kallie stormed out of his house, telling his parents that she was sorry she couldn’t stay for dinner, and to ask their son why.

The next day, Josh called and asked Kllie to come over, that he needed to talk to her. After much hesitation, she finally went to his house. He told her that she deserved someone much better that would stay faithful. Crying, Kallie asked why he had cheated on her, and that she wanted to know for how long it had been going for. Josh tried to keep the truth from her, saying it would be best if she didn’t know, but she wouldn’t have it. While looking down, more ashamed than he had ever felt, Josh told Kallie about the numerous hookups, how long he’d been having them for, and finally, about Lea.

As Kallie stood up to leave, feeling more used and hurt than she had in her life, Josh whispered that he truly cared about her, and how he had never felt so terrible in his life. Without a word, Kallie left for work. In her car, she kept herself composed while adopting an eerie, emotionless state.

As Kallie sat in her car at nearly three in the morning, she thought over how all of this could have happened. She trusted Josh, told him things she’d never told anyone in her life, and this is how she got repaid? She wasn’t angry or sad about this whole thing, she was mad at herself because she should have seen it coming. More than ever, she was happy to be getting away from England for a year, maybe longer, so she wouldn’t have to see Josh again.