Letting Go

I can stand being around people more now.

You were right.

About tour, I mean.

I feel more like myself now, I think.

Even if I’m not sure what myself really feels like anymore.

I haven’t known in a long time.

Not since you left.

I follow the guys and Victoria to the gallery for the art show that Gabe’s friend is in.

I hadn’t really wanted to come, but I’m trying.

For you.

Gabe and Victoria run into some friends, and Nate and Ryland stop to check out a few sculptures, so I wander off to look at the paintings.

“Hi,” a somewhat familiar voice supplies as I stop to look. My eyes dart to her in surprise. “I thought it was you,” she smiles.

“Hi,” I answer, smiling back.

At least, I hope it passes for a smile.

“How have you been?” I offer.

“Can’t complain,” she shrugs with one shoulder. “How was your…trip?” she asks.

“Good,” I answer. “I really needed it.” she smiles again.

“I’m glad to hear things are going better.”

We fall silent and my attention goes to the painting directly behind her.

“It’s incredible,” I say, without thinking. She turns to see which one I’m staring at.

It’s a simple landscape painting of a beach.

In my mind, it’s our beach.

In my mind, I can see us walking along the shore, you in your favorite sundress, and me happy.

It doesn’t hurt so much to remember how we used to be anymore.

“You’re just being nice,” she states, shaking her head as her cheeks tint themselves pink. “It’s horribly cliché, I think,” she adds.

I shake my head, disagreeing.

“I’ll buy it from you.”

“I…what?” she asks, confused.

“How much do you want for it?” I ask.

“Don’t be ridiculous,” she shakes her head at me, once she recovers from her speechless confusion. “You can have it.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. I’ll save it for you,” she assures me. I smile in thanks. “You know, you never told me what you do.”

She smiles back.

“I’m a musician,” I reply. She nods, looking curious.

“I’m Cassie, by the way,” she says. I nod. “You never told me who you are.”

“Alex,” I have to remind myself who I am, as she holds out her hand to shake mine.

My name is Alexandro Francisco Suarez, and I’m still learning to let go of you.