Russian Roulette

We had lost one person. That was it. the rest of us were safe. We were all silent and shaking as we headed for the exit. They had started to sterilize the floor where Joshua had been when we were leaving. Matt wrapped his arm around me as we headed for the limo. I could smell alcohol on his breath, but hell, we each had at least four or five beers...

"Sorry about everything..." he murmured.

"Y-you killed someone..." I mumbled, clinging to Jimmy's arm.

"I know, I know..." he held onto me tightly. "I'm sorry... but I don’t want you to be mad at me..."

"You were the one who was mad at me..."

"Sit with me..." Jimmy pulled me onto his lap as soon as we were all on the limo. I wrapped my arms around his neck, watching Matt sit next to us.

"I know, I'm not mad any more... but you did a good job at being mad back... and sorry about Jimmy's eye..."

"...I guess it's okay..."

"Do you see why we can't get attached...?" He looked at me somewhat sadly. I heard Jimmy sigh, obviously in a similar state.

"But... I don’t want to play anymore... I just want to be with Jimmy..." I hid my face in Jimmy's neck.

"You're in the game now...there's no turning back."

"But... I don’t want to do this...! Can't you pretend to kill me so I can just... stay away from the cameras and still be here?!"

"No. This is our game. Our rules." He said calmly, tossing his gun back in the shoebox.

"...I want to go home..." Ashley mumbled weakly from Johnny's lap.

"You can't... we can't go home either..." Matt pointed out.

"...You technically are home, Matt." I sighed. "I live across the country... it's different."

"...We all run the risk of being killed too, though."

"You're the one who came up with this fucking game." Ashley glared at him.

"I did not come up with this, thank you very much!" he glared back. "Stop blaming me for everything."

"...This is the only thing I've blamed you for!" She pointed out, raising a challenging brow. "I just don't get how you can hold a fucking loaded gun to the guys you've grown up with."

"What do you think the beer is for?!" he held up a bottle. "It kills me! But..." he sighed. "I can't even explain it to you, Ash. You wouldn’t understand it because I barely get it." She muttered something along the lines of 'dumbass' before shaking her head and turning away from him. He turned back to me. "I want to really apologize for the last few days..."

"...I just want to be with Jimmy..." I repeated quietly. What could I say? Alcohol and my mind don't work well together.

"Yeah...but...it's going to really suck if you're alive one day and he's not..."

"I'm already attached though..."

"The games are only going to get more intense..." He sighed.

"It doesn’t matter! I've been attached, Matt..." I sighed. The limo stopped at our house once again, and we all headed inside. Jimmy led me to the kitchen.

"Baby...will you eat something now?"

I gave him a look. How on Earth could I eat now...?! "Jimmy, I just saw someone die...!!" If anything, I wanted to call 9-1-1!!

Zacky noticed the look on my face and frowned. "Jill...I know what you're thinking. Listen to me. If you can't see the death, it never happened. Got it?"

"...But it DID happen...!"

"How do you know something happened if you didn't see it?" He pointed out, making me frown. Was that what this was...? A mind game...?

"...Don't do that to me...! Because how do I know I'm not dreaming right now!? How do I know this isn’t all a part of my wild imagination?"

A sudden pain in my arm made me jump. "Ow!!"

"...Pinch?" Jimmy smiled sheepishly, rubbing my arm. "You're not dreaming!" I frowned a little. Sometimes I DID wish I was dreaming...! it would be a hell of a lot better than this... "Will you please eat something? I don’t want you to be a stick..."

"I'm not hungry..."

"Jilly. Please. I'm begging you." He looked at me pleadingly, taking my hands in his own. I shrugged, looking away from his pleading eyes. I didn’t want to hurt him! "Jill..." He moved so that I had to look at him, "Come on..."

"What do you want me to eat, Jimmy...?"

"His big, long slim Jim." Brian laughed.