The Consequence
i could do better than you
The television was burning up. It had been on for the past forty eight hours. A stack of watched DVD’s sat beside it, this one much taller than the tower that was yet to be watched. The screen was dusty, it’s lack of use being made up for now. Breaking hearts was a tough job, but somebody had to do it.
Ashley watched as the credits went up. She crawled to the end of her bed and switched DVD’s, pressing play as soon as the start menu came up. She settled under her duvet, reaching for her glass of water, taking a small sip, before setting it back down and tilting her head on one side.
The Proposal might not be her greatest movie choice at present. Her own ring was still glittering on her beside table. Barely worn and depressed. A heavy sigh escaped Ashley’s lips as she reached for a bag of nachos and began shovelling them into her mouth.
Her mother had worried. A lot. Her worries had been somewhat crushed when Logan reassured her that Ashley was fine. She was still eating and drinking, she just didn’t want to speak to anyone about anything right now. Time alone, he’d put it, was what she needed. Her mother had to believe Logan. The pair of them had been close growing up after all. So, she’d left Ashley to deal with everything in her own way. Watching romantic comedies and eating a lot of crap.
So two days into her sit in, a knock on Ashley’s door brought her eyes away from Ryan Reynolds’ pleading face and forced her to hit the pause button on the remote. “Come in,” she rasped, reaching for her glass once more.
“Ashley, honey, Eric’s here, do you want me to send him up?” Her mother asked, looking at her daughter uneasily. Ashley hadn’t washed or moved from her position for two days. She was bound to look a mess.
“Um, mom, I don’t think -”
“Ash, talk to me.” Too late. Eric was standing behind her mother, his face begging her to be allowed into her safe haven.
Ashley had no choice. She sighed and nodded, quickly reaching for her ring and placing it back onto her finger. She pushed the duvet away from her body and sat cross legged, motioning for Eric to sit himself down on the bed, as her mother disappeared into the hall.
“You know she’s going to be listening, right?” Ashley asked, raising a questioning eyebrow at the door.
Eric chuckled. “Just like when we first starting dating.”
“Yeah.”
There was an awkward silence. The hum of the DVD player filled it. Eric wrung his hands in his lap, wondering what to say. He had a million and one questions, yet none of them seemed to make sense now. Ashley was perfectly fine. The ring still sparkled on her finger and she appeared to be okay. Dishevelled looking, but alright.
“Why are you here? I thought you had at least another two weeks of tour,” Ashley stepped in first, handing Eric the lead on conversation.
“Well, my fiancee disappeared at the drop of the hat without so much as a word of why or where she was headed. I’ve been worried, Ash, you weren’t answering my calls or texts.”
Ashley’s throat closed at the word ‘fiancee’. She still couldn’t think of herself like that. She was still Eric’s girlfriend, commitment could be broken off at any given moment. She was happy with that label. Girlfriend was good. Fiancee was too much.
“I’m sorry. I just, I had to get away. You know how much me and tour don’t really go together. I should’ve told you. But it was a really quick, impulse decision. I woke up one morning and snapped, packed all my things and jumped in a taxi. Before I knew it I was sneaking Logan through the front door after a hard nights partying.”
Eric shook his head. “You know when we’re married you can’t sneak off like that. Ashley, I’ve been so worried about you. I’ve been calling everyone, and I only just managed to get through to your mom yesterday. What is it really? Did I do something? Justin? I know you guys don’t get on, but -”
“Eric, I just told you. Tour got too much for me. It’s claustrophobic on the road. Plus, I couldn’t stand much more of the delightful Justin and his snide comments.” She shuddered for effect. Eric was buying her lies, as his face softened.
“I’m sorry about Justin, do you want me to tell him to back off?”
“No, it’s cool. He’s nothing I can’t handle.”
“And you’re sure it isn’t something I’ve done? Because I know you were surprised about the engagement and everything. We can go as slow as you like. Engaged doesn’t mean we’ve gotta run to Vegas and get married tonight or anything like that. We can wait a while if you want, plan everything and make it perfect.”
“Wait a while,” Ashley nodded. If they waited, maybe, just maybe, she could force herself in love with Eric. He deserved it after all. She couldn’t keep running away from this. She was in way over her head, but breathing time might be what she needed to sort her head and heart out. “Sounds good to me.”
“Okay, but your mom’s got catalogues full of flower arrangements and crap, so humour her for a while, yeah?”
Ashley nodded, her eyes filling up at the thought of her poor mother. Stacks of wedding magazines surrounding her as she planned everything up from the bare bones to create the perfect day for her only child. Ashley realised calling this off wasn’t only going to hurt one person. She was going to hurt a lot of people if she did. So, swallowing hard, she nodded. “I think I can do that.”
Eric opened his arms, allowing Ashley to fall into them. She clung to him, feeling sobs crawling up her throat, desperate to escape her mouth. She pushed them back down. She could cry it all out when Eric was gone, maybe when Logan had returned from trying to seduce Evie away from Justin. She dug her fingers into his back and inhaled deeply. She could never remember how Eric smelled.
After a few minutes, Ashley released him and smiled at him sadly, tears brimming in her eyes. “So I guess I’ll see you when you get back then?” She asked, wiping a rouge tear from underneath her eye.
Eric nodded and wiped her cheek with his thumb. “Yep, you will.” He leaned forwards, pressing a gentle kiss to her lips. He always acted like she was about to crumble under his touch. “I love you.”
Ashley sniffled. “Yeah, love you too.”
Eric rose from the bed and walked out of her bedroom, shooting her a small smile as he did so. Reassuring. The second he disappeared, Ashley cracked. She let the sobs free and pressed play on the remote, absorbing herself in her own misery and the stupid film playing out on the screen before her.
It was a mess. She was a mess. And Eric could never know, could he?
Ashley watched as the credits went up. She crawled to the end of her bed and switched DVD’s, pressing play as soon as the start menu came up. She settled under her duvet, reaching for her glass of water, taking a small sip, before setting it back down and tilting her head on one side.
The Proposal might not be her greatest movie choice at present. Her own ring was still glittering on her beside table. Barely worn and depressed. A heavy sigh escaped Ashley’s lips as she reached for a bag of nachos and began shovelling them into her mouth.
Her mother had worried. A lot. Her worries had been somewhat crushed when Logan reassured her that Ashley was fine. She was still eating and drinking, she just didn’t want to speak to anyone about anything right now. Time alone, he’d put it, was what she needed. Her mother had to believe Logan. The pair of them had been close growing up after all. So, she’d left Ashley to deal with everything in her own way. Watching romantic comedies and eating a lot of crap.
So two days into her sit in, a knock on Ashley’s door brought her eyes away from Ryan Reynolds’ pleading face and forced her to hit the pause button on the remote. “Come in,” she rasped, reaching for her glass once more.
“Ashley, honey, Eric’s here, do you want me to send him up?” Her mother asked, looking at her daughter uneasily. Ashley hadn’t washed or moved from her position for two days. She was bound to look a mess.
“Um, mom, I don’t think -”
“Ash, talk to me.” Too late. Eric was standing behind her mother, his face begging her to be allowed into her safe haven.
Ashley had no choice. She sighed and nodded, quickly reaching for her ring and placing it back onto her finger. She pushed the duvet away from her body and sat cross legged, motioning for Eric to sit himself down on the bed, as her mother disappeared into the hall.
“You know she’s going to be listening, right?” Ashley asked, raising a questioning eyebrow at the door.
Eric chuckled. “Just like when we first starting dating.”
“Yeah.”
There was an awkward silence. The hum of the DVD player filled it. Eric wrung his hands in his lap, wondering what to say. He had a million and one questions, yet none of them seemed to make sense now. Ashley was perfectly fine. The ring still sparkled on her finger and she appeared to be okay. Dishevelled looking, but alright.
“Why are you here? I thought you had at least another two weeks of tour,” Ashley stepped in first, handing Eric the lead on conversation.
“Well, my fiancee disappeared at the drop of the hat without so much as a word of why or where she was headed. I’ve been worried, Ash, you weren’t answering my calls or texts.”
Ashley’s throat closed at the word ‘fiancee’. She still couldn’t think of herself like that. She was still Eric’s girlfriend, commitment could be broken off at any given moment. She was happy with that label. Girlfriend was good. Fiancee was too much.
“I’m sorry. I just, I had to get away. You know how much me and tour don’t really go together. I should’ve told you. But it was a really quick, impulse decision. I woke up one morning and snapped, packed all my things and jumped in a taxi. Before I knew it I was sneaking Logan through the front door after a hard nights partying.”
Eric shook his head. “You know when we’re married you can’t sneak off like that. Ashley, I’ve been so worried about you. I’ve been calling everyone, and I only just managed to get through to your mom yesterday. What is it really? Did I do something? Justin? I know you guys don’t get on, but -”
“Eric, I just told you. Tour got too much for me. It’s claustrophobic on the road. Plus, I couldn’t stand much more of the delightful Justin and his snide comments.” She shuddered for effect. Eric was buying her lies, as his face softened.
“I’m sorry about Justin, do you want me to tell him to back off?”
“No, it’s cool. He’s nothing I can’t handle.”
“And you’re sure it isn’t something I’ve done? Because I know you were surprised about the engagement and everything. We can go as slow as you like. Engaged doesn’t mean we’ve gotta run to Vegas and get married tonight or anything like that. We can wait a while if you want, plan everything and make it perfect.”
“Wait a while,” Ashley nodded. If they waited, maybe, just maybe, she could force herself in love with Eric. He deserved it after all. She couldn’t keep running away from this. She was in way over her head, but breathing time might be what she needed to sort her head and heart out. “Sounds good to me.”
“Okay, but your mom’s got catalogues full of flower arrangements and crap, so humour her for a while, yeah?”
Ashley nodded, her eyes filling up at the thought of her poor mother. Stacks of wedding magazines surrounding her as she planned everything up from the bare bones to create the perfect day for her only child. Ashley realised calling this off wasn’t only going to hurt one person. She was going to hurt a lot of people if she did. So, swallowing hard, she nodded. “I think I can do that.”
Eric opened his arms, allowing Ashley to fall into them. She clung to him, feeling sobs crawling up her throat, desperate to escape her mouth. She pushed them back down. She could cry it all out when Eric was gone, maybe when Logan had returned from trying to seduce Evie away from Justin. She dug her fingers into his back and inhaled deeply. She could never remember how Eric smelled.
After a few minutes, Ashley released him and smiled at him sadly, tears brimming in her eyes. “So I guess I’ll see you when you get back then?” She asked, wiping a rouge tear from underneath her eye.
Eric nodded and wiped her cheek with his thumb. “Yep, you will.” He leaned forwards, pressing a gentle kiss to her lips. He always acted like she was about to crumble under his touch. “I love you.”
Ashley sniffled. “Yeah, love you too.”
Eric rose from the bed and walked out of her bedroom, shooting her a small smile as he did so. Reassuring. The second he disappeared, Ashley cracked. She let the sobs free and pressed play on the remote, absorbing herself in her own misery and the stupid film playing out on the screen before her.
It was a mess. She was a mess. And Eric could never know, could he?
♠ ♠ ♠
Ohai filler. There might be a couple of these kind of parts. But I've got ideas for loads of drama after (: