Strangers in the Rain

I looked Jason in the eyes. Now I'm a good liar. Back when I went to school I would spill out lie after lie to my teachers everyday in order to extend deadlines and get away with absent homework. I have lied to my parents, to all of my ex boyfriends, to bouncers on night club doors. Lying is something I do. Jason has always been good at reading me, it’s one of the one or two things I liked about him. He can tell when I'm lying, some of the time. “I haven’t thought about you once. You may as well have been dead to me. In fact I’ve met someone else.”

“Your lying, I know your lying,” the smile appeared on his face again. “I know you’ve thought about me. It shows you, you have feelings for me, you know you still like me. So why can’t we talk about us, over a dinner at mine.”

“I-I’ve told you I met someone,” I stuttered. Which is true! Gerard! I’ve met Gerard. Something could happen with him. More than a kiss and a couple of meals. Gerard and I could work. If only he was honest with me and showed up from time to time. Then maybe we could call what we have some sort of relationship or begin to build one.

“Where is he then? It’s a Saturday night, this should be the prime time you two spend with one another. I know Saturday is when some of our best memories were made.” I could see what he was doing, trying to doubt myself, it’s one of the tricks he caries in his utility belt of tricks. I used to fall for it and he would get his way in no time. But I’ve learnt and matured. And this time I know I can lie a little better.

“He’s on a business trip but he’ll be back in a couple of days.” I pulled away from him, he was angling himself so he was almost leaning over me. “Don’t you think this is crossing a line Jason? Tracking me down like this. Most people call or something like that before they storm into someone's life.”

“I did call, but you never answered or called back. What else was I suppose to do? Just drop what we had. What we still have, I don’t think so. When you know you’ve found the person you love you do what must be done.” Jason’s been hit on the head recently because although sometime in the past I would have said I was in love with him, now I know that wasn’t love. Not even close, I have yet to experience love but I never loved Jason the way he seems to think I did.

“I never really love you Jason, we never had love between us.”

“Don’t say that sugar. You said you love me all the time. I felt it, I felt love, you felt it when you said it to me.”

“I just wanted to love you Jason, neither of us know what love is. You’re not someone I could ever love. We broke up for a reason, I thought I made it clear I don’t want contact with you Jason. I don’t want to see you again.” I was firm. You have to be with men like Jason, or they’ll never leave you alone. They’ll become your stalker and before you know it you and your hole family are put in danger. The fact I have no family makes no difference, Jason still knows enough about me to hurt me. He knows all my secrets and just how to get to me. And he practiced while we dated. A lot.

“At some point in your life Lexi, you’re going to realise everything you just said it a pack of lies.” Jason seemed to being growing mad, I suppose he doesn’t respond well to rejection.

“I think it’s time you leave and never come back now.” I felt good about how strong I was for that one and the fact he did leave. He slammed my car door mind you. Which I think is unfair on my car, what has my car ever done to him? Nothing. Until recently this cars been very reliable. I don’t know whether him leaving was for good, but I sure as hell hoped it was. I did realise while in that situation, that’s when I could have used Gerard, I needed him to be here for me, not much to ask, but he can’t even do that.