I Want You

Gerard’s Point Of View

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not stupid or anything, but I had been dropped back a year. It wasn’t on purpose either.
I’ve had eyes for this guy for about a year and a half. Oh god the first time I actually took notice of him, my pants were so fucking tight I nearly screamed in pain.
Last year, when I was in my lessons I would sit there and think about him, I would doodle things about him, fantasies I had about him and me. I had even skipped a couple of my classes, just so I could hang out in the back of his classes. He noticed me once or twice, just glanced at me then ignored me and talked to his friends. His friends always surrounded him, he’s not the ‘oh so popular kid’, he just has a lot of friends, well a lot I mean by about eight or nine, that’s a lot for me. I only had no friends and a brother.
Mikey’s a great guy believe me, but twenty four seven with him, can be a bit too much. He’s really supportive and nearly the opposite of me. He has friends and goes out places and talks. I’m more of the I’ll be in my room if you need me kind of guy.
I had followed this guy home on some occasions, turns out he only lives a couple of blocks away from me, about ten minute walk away from my house.
He has yet to fail to knock the breath out of me every time I see him, he’s just so stunning. I seriously can’t explain how amazing he is, I heard him play guitar in our music class once. Well, he was playing by himself in a music room, I was outside listening, I liked his singing voice. But when he stood up to walk outside back to our class, I didn’t stay and tell him how good he was no, I legged it down the corridor and hid in the toilets until the end of that class.
Now because of this boy, I had been held back a year, so technically I had finished high school, but no, I had to do twelfth grade twice, so now I was only one school year ahead of him. But I didn’t mind that, I got longer to see him.
I had already done most of this year, I only had until the beginning of July, and it was just the beginning of May. I’ve actually been studying this year, I want to get out of this school, I can’t stand another year of it.
I was lying in my bed, my hands underneath my head and I was smiling. Thinking about my man, I had had a dream about him again. This wasn’t like the other ones though, the others where he just came up to me and hugged me, smiled then walked away. This time it was of both of us lying in the middle of a bed, he had his head rested on my chest, his eyes were closed and his hands were drawing circles on my naked chest. My arms were wrapped tightly around his body, he was telling me how much he loved him, then I bought his face up to meet mine, we kissed quickly but passionately, then I was about to tell him I loved him. But then I woke up to the sound of my alarm.
Talking of alarms, I got out of bed and walked up to the kitchen to find my brother and my mum already dressed and eating
“Nice of you to join us Gerard” Mikey handed me a coffee mug filled with, none other than coffee
“Thanks Mikey”
“Now Gerard, you know you’ve got exams coming up, are you studying”
“Yes mother, I’ve already done the exams, I know what’s in them, so I’ll pass it like that” I made a swishy motion with my arm
“Whatever, go get changed” I walked back down to my room and washed in my bathroom, and got changed. Then I drank my coffee in one and gasped because it hurt my tongue, mm, maybe he could lick it better.... I moaned silently to myself and looked down, now is not the time for hard ons. I had to get to school.
I created myself a time table last year sometime, as to what time he left his house, so that I could walk behind him, and admire his butt. I smirked to myself as I thought of him. Oh god his hips, how good would they be? How kissable his skin would be
“Gerard? You ready yet?” I swung around and found Mikey standing by my door with my school bag in his hands
“Oh yeah, let’s go”
“Yeah, you want to see your lover boy”
“Shut up Mikey” My cheeks were burning red, he can be a monster sometimes
“No can do brother, now let’s go before you miss him” With that he walked up the stairs, I was left alone standing there, my mouth hanging open. Damn right I miss him. I sprinted up the stairs and out of the door where Mikey was waiting for me.
We walked to school not talking much, the occasional, ‘how was your weekend’ came up quite a few times. Yeah we were brothers, we lived in the same house, he stayed round other people’s houses here and then, he invited me along to a couple, I don’t like parties. So I lived in the basement, otherwise known as my room. But we still had our brotherly moments, fighting on the floor, watching movies together, shit like that. He even made me watch chick flicks, yes I’m gay, but the films are too icky and girly.
My heart did flips and twists as I saw him walking out of his house, right on time as usual. I inwardly smiled at myself as he looked up and down the road before walking our way to school. I watched his body sway as he walked, his hands dangled at his sides, his back held beautifully, his hair bouncing in the wind. But get this.
I didn’t know his name.