Blue Paint & Red Lights

The sky was still black as I shut my car door forcefully with one hand- I was holding the tray of coffee with the other. It was dead silent in the parking lot when I made my way into the equally silent gold reception area, my bag balanced perfectly on my shoulder. I walked past the main desk and over to the bank of elevators.
Stopping on the second floor I stepped out, scanning my surroundings and finding my mom sitting in the large waiting room that was set up with a couple couches, tables, and many arm chairs facing away from the massive ceiling high windows that looked over Lake Michigan.
"Mom." I said quietly, scared to disturb the absolute silence of the area.
She looked up at me and her eyes brightened.

I knew then that I would have to be strong for her. She was tired, she probably stayed up all night with dad, unable to sleep. I knew he would be fine, and better than before when he was healed, but it still seemed surreal. These things didn't happen to normal people, right? I mustered up all my strength and knew I would be strong for her.
"Coffee. Is he already in?" I asked her, handing her coffee cup down to her. "Extra creme, two Splendas, right?"
She nodded and took it from me, relishing the warmth. "Yes. They gave him some pretty strong painkillers an hour ago. He should be under the knife already." The words hurt her and I sighed, sitting down next to her and putting my bag on the floor after placing my coffee on the table across from us. I pulled her into a hug and I felt how weak she was.
"Thank you." She said after I released her.
"No problem, mom."
She stood and told me, "I'm going to go outside for a smoke."

And that's how the morning went. She would stay inside for a little bit and then escape downstairs and outside to smoke half a cigarette.
Both my parents smoke like chimneys, although my dad had to quit. It would be too much stress on his heart if he took up smoking again. The surgeons assistant told us, "If he lights up again, the next thing you'll be buying is a pine box." We were shocked that she had said it like that and after she did, I could tell my mom, for some strange reason- seemed a little bit stronger. I have no idea why, but she was and that was all that mattered.
Around eleven the assistant came back to tell us that he had been closed up and is sleeping off all the anesthesia and won't be awake until later tonight. She also said that we could leave. We just shook our heads and she told us, "At three you'll be able to see him."
They moved us away from the large windows and into a smaller room near his hospital room in recovery. It was empty and furnished with a futon, two straight back chairs, a television, and a computer that still ran on Windows 98.
We settled on the futon and my mom fell asleep first. I continued to read "The Greatest Hockey Stories Ever Told" until I leaned my head back and fell asleep, too.
I woke to Antti shaking my knee gently with him crouched in front of me.
"Hey." He said quietly, to not wake my mom.
I smiled at Antti, glad that he had showed up anyway. I would tell him that he didn't have to come, but I was relived that he did.
"How's your dad?" Antti asked, bringing a chair over in front of me and sitting on it.
"He's doing good. What time is it?" I asked him while I folded over the corner of the book on a story about a goalie trying to make his way in the NHL.
"One. Have you two eaten yet?" He was leaning over, pushing my bangs back from my eyes.
"No." I could just watch him, a perfect distraction for the situation. His hair was still wet from when he had showered after the skate and he just wore a light blue cotton Pelicans shirt and some jeans with casual circa shoes. I had taught him the ways of comfortable skateboarding shoes and he seemed to love them. When he pulled his hand away from holding my cheek, I leaned forward a bit, not wanting him to pull it away.
The movement woke up my mom and she greeted him with the "Hey, boy." that she would only use once she accepted someone into the family.
He smiled because I had once told him that and he had no problem with being called 'boy', especially when it was endearing.
Antti replied, "How was your nap?"
She just sat straight and nodded, stretching.
"I'm going to treat your mom to lunch, yeah?" Antti said, standing and pulling me up.
"You really don't have to, Antti." My mother said, still lingering on the futon.
"Nonsense. You deserve it. Where do you want to go?"

The place was familiar, and the last time I sat in it, I was eating sushi with Adam. He didn't ruin the restaurant for me, since I had gone to it many time in my childhood, it still felt weird instructing Antti how to eat the edamame when I sat just a couple tables away almost two years ago and taught Adam how to eat it. Thinking about our past relationship this much just led me to realize how much I actually did love Antti. He was a part of my heart now, and the only way to get rid of it would be to carve him out.
I remembered saying to him one time, "This relationship better last." after he had conned me into trying blood pancakes, apparently they are huge in Finland. I tried them and almost gagged, but I did it for him.
He replied to me smoothly, "It'll last as long as you want it to."

I smiled at the table, thinking about it and glanced back up at my mom. We were sitting in one of the booths and Antti and I were facing my mother, who was gorging herself on avocado rolls. I just chuckled at her and felt Antti's hand on my knee, lightly resting there.
"God I miss Chicago." She confessed in between the sushi she hadn't eaten in years.
"Chicago misses you, too." Antti told her, struggling with his chopsticks. I had only recently become capable with my chopsticks, so I attempted to show him how to use them.

When we finally went back to the hospital, it was a half hour before we could see him and my brother showed up, smelling like his part-time job he worked when he wasn't working as an EMT. He worked at a restaurant on the northside and it was clear that they had begun selling soup again, because he came in reeking like the kitchen.
"You smell like soup." Our mother stated while he hugged her.
"Yeah yeah." He replied, releasing her and patting me on the head. He greeted Antti and told him, "I'm excited for the new season, man!"
As a reply, Antti smiled and told him, "So am I. So am I."
The assistant walked in to tell us she would allow two people to go in at a time to see him.
Our mother shoved my brother and I towards the swinging doors.
"You two go first."

We stepped through the doors and into the sterile hallway. The assistant led us to his room and stood outside with us. We barely took two steps inside the room- just staring at him from the hallway. He had tubes everywhere and he looked strange without his characteristic mustache.
Finally we left, and Antti declined politely, allowing my brother to go in with my mom while we waited.
"How does he look?" Antti asked me when we were alone in the waiting room.
"He doesn't really look like my dad without his mustache, but he's alive and that's all that matters. Mom told me that he planned on growing a goatee while he was off of work." I replied, leaning against him.
He stroked my hair a couple times before dropping his hand.

My weekend consisted of going to the hospital to sit with my mother, switching with my brother and once the work week came, I told Suzy of my problem. She had allowed me to underbook clients to I could visit St. Joseph's often. My dad was getting better and was staying awake. Of course, he loved pressing the button on the machine that gave him the anesthesia and he was doing well. Getting crabby again and being a nuisance to the hospital staff.
I was pleased with his progress and my mother's face had brightened when the week neared it's end and he would be coming home to sit in a chair for two months straight.
My heart had lightened significantly with the beginning of the preseason in late September.
Angelina had called me and demanded a rematch in badminton before everything became too cold in Chicago. I had agreed and it was Saturday, and the Blackhawks were in Pittsburgh for a preseason game against the Penguins.
I threw a pullover hoodie on before I walked out of the house, carrying my well-loved racket and a tube of birdies.

Angelina was sitting casually on one of the benches, twirling her racket and talking to another female with long wet hair. As I approached them, I smelled the chlorine and called out, "Angelina! Karolina!" the two turned their heads and I asked the swimmer, "Hey, I haven't seen you around in a while."
"I just came back from Poland a couple days ago. I spent some time over there before the summer ended."
I nodded and Angelina stood, "You ready to feel the pain, Sam?" I left Karolina with a pat on the head with my racket and stepped over to the opposite side of the court.
"Eat my dust, Gina." I told her playfully before serving the birdie underhand and lofting it over at her. She attempted to spike it and I just barely clipped it and gave myself some time to hit it back over.
"You whore!" I called over at her as the birdie came sailing back over at me.

By time we were done, I was breathing heavily and Karolina asked us, "When you two are done competing, want to get something to eat?"
We agreed wholeheartedly and I volunteered to drive Karolina because she reeked of chlorine and Angelina had just gotten a new car.

Only a week ago Angelina had spilled the beans about her honeymoon over a chick flick night at her house. We giggled and she shushed first, telling me, "You know that freaking animal he has attacking his chest?"
I laughed, knowing exactly what she was talking about. On the rare occasion when he walked around the locker room shirtless while I worked there, his chest was like someone had pasted a carpet to it. I nodded and ate some popcorn, waiting for her to continue.
"Let's just say...It's suiting."
I looked at her with a confused look and she added, "Troy is an ANIMAL in bed!" I had literally fallen over, clutching my stomach and laughing at her comment. "Oh god! Stop! I'm going to die!" I called, grabbing at my sides.

We sat at some corner bistro and Karolina had drilled us again. "Now that you both are married, when the hell am I going to meet the guys?" I looked over at Gina and she tilted her head just slightly and I told the young woman, "They boys are having a home opener party after the game if they win. I guess- you're free to come with one of us."
Her eyes widened and she clapped a little, "Oh Patrick Kane, you are mine."
We just chuckled and shook our heads, doubtful that she could change his nature. He had calmed down and matured a little in the past two years, especially after winning the Cup, but he was a superstar in a resurgent hockey city. But then again, with Karolina's determination, nothing was impossible.

We left, and Karolina had walked home, saying that her place was only a couple blocks away from the bistro. I drove to the new house near the lake front that belonged to Troy and Angelina.
"Am I the only one who can't wait to see PK's reaction to Karolina?" She asked me when she let me into her house.
"Oh you know. That's going to be priceless." I smiled at her and went straight for her refrigerator.
"Whoa, where is your liquor?" I shouted towards the front room where Angelina had settled in a couch.
"In the pantry!" She yelled back and I closed the door of the fridge and explored her pantry.

Maybe it was a bad idea, but it would be an understatement to say we got drunk that night. I needed to relax, still reeling from my father's slow recovery and the stress of making up for all those days off at work. We sipped wine until the game came on and then we decided to play the superstars game. Every time Pat Foley made a Harry Carey reference, two shots of whiskey. If Eddie Olyzck said, "Stop it right here." or "All those young hockey players-" one shot. If either of them said Kane's name or Toews' name, two shots. If Brouwer got a goal, two shots for Gina- for an assist, one shot. For every save that Antti made, a quarter of a shot. If Antti got a shut out, three shots, if Brouwer got a hat trick, three shots for her.
One of the worst ideas we ever had. Antti had a shutout and Brouwer had an goal with two assists. There were so many beautiful saves by Antti, Pat Foley had said, "Niemi backwards is Imein!" and Eddie O sounded like a broken record with all his, "Stop it right here!" and "to all those young hockey players out there, look at this!"
We had passed out in her front room, two bottles of Irish whiskey gone. When I woke up, Brouwer was helping Angelina out of the bathroom and into their bedroom and Antti was gently shaking my shoulder. There was a smell of vomit coming from the floor beside me and I purposely avoided looking over there.
Antti drove us back to the apartment and I became dead to the world when I snuggled into his side.