I Am the Boy on Your Girlfriend's Lips

I didn't bother to watch their show. I quickly dried my eyes and put on my big girl pants. If John wanted to be an asshole, fine, let him, but I was going to be one right back.

I grabbed a beer from a nearby cooler that was sitting on the food table, popped it open on my shorts, and started to down it.

There was no way I was going to let that boy walk all over my heart. Better yet, I wasn't going to let him do it and get away with. Oh, there'd definitely be repercussions.

I grabbed my iPhone from my back pocket and dialed Josh's number. He picked up on the second ring.

"We can," was all I said. And it was all it took because he understood perfectly.

My body felt numb yet on fire at the same time. I wanted to barf and yet I wanted to skip around the venue whistling show tunes. I had no idea what I was doing but I was completely sure of it. Josh deserved me more than John did. He was actually nice to me, and not just when he wanted to be, unlike John. He looked at me like I was something special, unlike John who barely looked at me at all. He just did everything thing right that John did wrong.

"Meet me at yer bus in ten minutes?" Eagerness was evident in his voice.

"See you there, chubs," I couldn't stop myself from smirking.

Take that John Cornelius O'Callaghan the Fifth, you asshole.

• • •
josh's point of view

Tristan's mouth felt wonderful against mine. Hell, I'm sure anything of Tristan's would feel wonderful against me. I really didn't care what it was, just so long as it belonged to Tristan. Perfectly rude, incredibly funny, beautifully gorgeous Tristan...

Her lips moved from mine and I almost said something in protest but stopped when I felt them on my neck.

Her kisses were gentle at first, but as things progressed they became rough. Nibbling, sucking, into flat out biting.

I had her pushed up against one of the bus's walls. My body was completely on hers, our hips grinding into one another’s.

"Tristan," I murmured as I felt her bruise my neck.

My hands were gripped onto her hips, so I could pull her body to mine, to keep her close as I could.

I hadn't really questioned why she was allowing this. Why she had said to me the night before that no one had her heart, then the next day she stopped me from kissing her and told me she had a boyfriend, then that very same day she was making out with me in her boyfriend's tour bus. I suppose it did make me wonder some. But just not enough to stop her. Because Tristan was—damn— nearly perfect. Simply everything about her appealed to me. It went far beyond looks.

Her lips disconnected from my neck and went back to my lips, her hands traveled down my chest and to the front of my pants. She laid her palm flat and grabbed the bulge that had sprung up there. I couldn't help but make some responsive sounds of pleasure.

She pulled her mouth away from mine and looked into my eyes. There was something there in those green eyes, something behind the hunger, the lust, the want. Something that looked an awful lot like desperation.

I took a step back, feeling my gut clench. I had suddenly felt wrong and dirty. Like I had taken advantage of her. Like I should have asked her why she changed her mind.

The desperation in her eyes grew. She didn't give me time to say anything, to ask her what was wrong. She had backed me up against the opposite wall and smashed her lips into mine. Her kisses were sloppy, no longer hungry, but still wonderful. They became more insistent, as if begging me to respond, to touch her—which at the time I wasn't.

Getting tired of waiting, Tristan grabbed my hand—lips still attached to my mouth—and put it on her breast. The action screaming desperate.

She moved quick, undoing the button of my jeans, unzipping the zipper, and pulling them down. She was also skilled because she hadn't once looked down, far too preoccupied with my mouth.

Unexpectedly, her mouth had disappeared from mine and she was plopped down on her knees in front of me.

The scene in front of me was exactly what I had wanted. Something I had admittedly fantasized about since meeting her. But now, in this moment, actually happening, I no longer wanted it.

"Tristan," I sighed as I began to pull my jeans and boxers back up.

She quickly grabbed my hands, stopping me from pulling them up all the way, and said, "No."

The no came out as a plea, not a demand. As if the thought of this not happening hurt her. All it did for me was make my stomach twist and my mouth go dry.

"Yes Tristan," I tried tugging up my jeans again. Her hands wouldn't relent.

"Please, Josh." There was that pang of guilt again.

"Why?" I couldn't think of a better question.

"Because I want you," she replied and it didn't sound like a lie.

I shook my head, not really knowing what to do or say.

"Don't you want me too?"

Her voice was small and broken. It sounded like she had hit rock bottom and I was her last chance to reach the top.

"S'not that, love," I stooped down to her level and pulled up my pants. "S'just that it dudn't feel right, y'know?"

She sat down on her bum and wrapped her arms around herself. Oh how fragile and weak she looked. "What does that mean?"

"I may be fat, but 'm not dumb," I thought maybe humor would be a good thing in this situation. I was wrong. The joke fell flat and I felt like an ass. "Wha' I meant t'was, that I can tell somethin's wrong an' 'm not gonna sit here an' take advantage 'a you."

Her arms tightened around herself and she stared at the ground. "But I want you to."

I sighed heavily. "No, love, yer really don't."

Her eyes flicked up to mine, "Yes Josh, yes I do."

"I don't—"

"He doesn't want me, okay? So you have to. You have to do everything right that he does wrong," the words spilled out her mouth with so many emotions it was unidentifiable. "So just shut up and fuck me already."

Woah. That was all I could think. What the hell was going on?

"Tristan just stop. Just stop, breathe, and tell me what's wrong."

"I just told you what's wrong," she raged. "And now you have to fix it."

That line felt like a kick to the heart. Tristan really had reached rock bottom. She really did want me. Needed me, even. It was clear she was hurting and it was clear what she wanted to do to stop it. And I just didn't have it in my heart to say no.

I silently shook my head because I had no other words. Tristan beamed ear to ear and jumped on me, sending me backward to the ground.

I wanted to help her, and this is what she wanted, so I let her have it.