Let Me Fall

I follow Brian for a few minutes, mentally kicking myself for not taking the ride in the Impala. I should have taken the chance while I had it, because I know that I’m probably never going to hang out with him ever again. I exhale deeply through my nose, trying my best to forget the missed chance of riding in a ’67 Impala, and I tap my fingers against the steering wheel. He signals to turn into a parking lot behind a quaint-looking diner, and I follow him into the lot.

I pull into a space beside him, put the car in park, and turn off the engine. I reach into my messenger bag and pull out my wallet. I stick the small black billfold into my back pocket and pull the keys out of the ignition. I run my fingers through my long dark brown hair and sigh heavily, preparing myself to subject myself to lunch with a guy that I really don’t care to be around. Hopefully he’s not mind-numbingly stupid, or I’ll be forced to stab him with a fork.

I do a mental check to make sure that I have everything I need and I open my door, stepping out of the vehicle and glancing over in his direction to see him locking up his car. I lock my door and close it before walking to the end of my car. Brian quickly joins me and we walk together towards the diner in silence. He holds the door open for me, and I quietly thank him as I enter the building.

It doesn’t look too bad here. It’s clean and it kinda reminds me of one of those diners you’d see in the fifties with lots of steel around the counters and tables, and a curved ceiling. I inhale through my nose and my mouth practically waters as the aroma of food wafts into my nose. Well, at least there’s hope that I’ll at least get a good meal out of this.

“You want a booth or do you wanna eat up at the counter?” Brian asks me.

“Um, booth is fine,” I reply.

“Alright, I see one right over there by the window; is that one alright with you?”

I look around, trying to find the booth that he’s talking about, and I nod my head. “Yeah, that’s fine.”

“Alright, then, let’s go sit down,” he smiles, leading the way to the table. He slides into the booth, and I take a seat across from him.

We sit in silence, an awkward silence, and my eyes flicker towards the window. I watch a couple of cars drive by and wish that I was out there instead of stuck in here with Brian. I know that I was the one who offered to go to lunch with him, but this was before I realized just how big of a mistake it was. If I had known that this would be nothing more than the two of us sitting in an uncomfortable silence, then I would have thought of some other way to thank him for saving me from Kendall and just grabbed some lunch at Wendy’s on my way home.

“Hi, Brian, I haven’t seen you here in a while. How are you doing?” someone asks, and I realize that someone has come to the table. I look away from the window and see a kind-looking middle-aged woman standing beside the table with a small pad of paper in one hand, a pencil in the other, and an apron around her waist.

“I’m doing alright. How about you, Loretta?”

“I’m doing fine,” she replies as she places a couple of menus in front of us. “I don’t believe I’ve seen you here before.”

“Oh, sorry. I forgot to introduce you,” Brian cuts in with a slightly nervous chuckle. “This is my friend Piper. Piper, this is Loretta; she’s my favorite waitress here.”

“And Brian and his friends are my favorite customers,” she says with a wide smile.

“It’s nice to meet you, Loretta,” I say with a smile, feeling only slightly awkward. I wasn’t really expecting Brian to know the people here on a first name basis.

“It’s nice to meet you, too, Piper. So, is there anything I can get you two to drink?”

“I’ll just have a Coke,” Brian answers.

“Alright; and for you, Piper?” she asks, scribbling his drink order down on the paper.

“I’ll have a Coke, too, please.”

“Great; I’ll be back in a couple minutes with your drinks, and if you’re ready by then I’ll take your order.”

“Thanks, Loretta,” Brian smiles.

She nods her head, smiling at us before she turns to walk away from the table to get our drinks.

“I didn’t realize you’re a regular here,” I comment as I pick up my menu.

“Well, I usually come here with my friends, as you probably figured out from what Loretta had said. We’ve been stopping by here for a couple years now and when that happens, you kinda get to know the staff and they get to know you, and it’s actually nice to have that. I’m sorry if it made you uncomfortable, though.”

“No, not uncomfortable,” I fib. “It was just unexpected, that’s all.”

“Guess I should have given you some warning.”

“Nah, it’s fine. So, since you are the regular here, what would you recommend?”

“Well, the burgers here are fantastic. And so are the chicken strips, if you prefer chicken over burgers. They’ve got a great grilled chicken sandwich and the salads are all good, if you’re trying to be healthy.”

“I see, and what about the milkshakes?”

“What kind of diner doesn’t have great milkshakes?” he chuckles. “They’re probably the best milkshakes you will ever have in your life.”

“Oh, really?”

“That’s right,” he says, nodding his head.

“Well, I’ll have to try one if I have room after lunch.”

“You won’t regret it.”

I smile and bring my attention down to the menu, taking a look at all my options. I guess I’ve never really been to a real diner before because I had no idea that there were so many options to choose from. I chew on the inside of my lip, trying to figure out what I want to get, and I hear a light laugh come from across the table. I look up to see an amused smile on Brian’s face.

“What’s so amusing?” I ask him.

“Nothing.”

“Then why are you laughing?”

“I’m not laughing.”

“Okay, then why are you chuckling?”

“It’s just that you can kinda tell that you haven’t been to diner before because you got this surprised look on your face when you looked at the menu.”

“You caught me; I’m a diner virgin.”

“There’s nothing wrong with that.”

“If you say so. So, do you know what you’re getting?”

“Yeah, I’m just going with a bacon cheeseburger.”

“That sounds good.”

“Oh, it is,” he replies seriously, and I can’t help but laugh. “What about you?”

“I think I’m going to have that grilled chicken sandwich you said was so good.”

“Nice choice. You won’t be disappointed.”

“I’m going to hold you to that.”

“Alright.”

“Alright; here are your drinks. Two Cokes and here are your straws. So, have you two decided on what you want?” Loretta asks as she sets down our drinks in front of us.

“Yeah, I think we have,” Brian replies, and I simply nod my head.

“Great, what can I get you two?” she asks, grabbing her paper and pencil out of the pocket of her apron.

“I’ll have a bacon cheeseburger.”

“And I’ll have the grilled chicken sandwich,” I tell her as I close my menu.

Brian takes both of the menus and hands them over to Loretta, and she smiles at him, thanking him as she tucks them away underneath her arm. “Alright; it’ll be a few minutes and I’ll have your order out.”

We thank her before she goes to turn in our order and we fall into another slightly uncomfortable silence. I draw my lips together and pick up my straw. I take off the wrapper and ball up the paper before sticking the clear plastic straw into my cup. I take a sip of my drink, trying to think of something that can break this awkward silence.

“So, you said that this is your first year?” Brian asks, his voice slicing through the quiet, and I nod my head, relieved that he’s said something.

“Yeah, it is.”

“Do you know what you wanna do, or are you undeclared?”

“At the moment, I am a Psychology major.”

“At the moment? Do you think you might change it?”

“Well, I don’t think I will, but you never know sometimes. I know this makes me sound like pretty much everyone else at that school, but I’m just trying to figure out who I am and what I want. All I really know is that I want to go into something that makes me happy, and I want to do something that is going to help people, so Psychology just seems like the most obvious choice. But who knows? Maybe I’ll end up switching to Sociology or something,” I reply with a nervous chuckle at the realization that I am rambling to a guy I hardly know. “What about you?”

“Well, this is also my first year, but it’s my second semester. I’m currently undeclared, but I am leaning towards being a Psych major. Guess I’m just trying to figure out what I wanna do, too.”

“Really? It’s your first year?” I ask, somewhat surprised. He doesn’t look old by any means, but he looks like he’d at least be a junior, not a freshman like me.

“Yeah, it is. You were probably expecting me to be a senior or something?” he asks with a chuckle.

“To be honest, yes, I actually was.”

“Well, that’s what I should be, but because I didn’t jump into going to college like a lot of people in my class, I am only a freshman.”

“What did you do when you weren’t in school?” I ask, my curiosity getting the better of me.

“I’ll admit it; I wasn’t really doing much at all. I hung out with my friends a lot, I got a couple of short-lived part-time jobs to make money, but I wasn’t really doing a lot with my life. Me and my friends started a band, but we haven’t really gotten that far since our funds are pretty low. My dad, who’s usually a really chill guy, finally said that if I didn’t start doing something with my life, I was going to have to go to school or he’d stop helping me and the guys out. So here I am, twenty-two and just starting college.”

“You’re in a band?” I query, and I’ll admit that my interest has been peaked.

“Yeah, I play guitar,” he grins.

“Are you any good?”

“I’m not bad.”

“Well, at least you’re not bad,” I chuckle. “That’s really cool, though. I’ve always wanted to learn to play something, but I just don’t have the natural flair for it, I guess.”

“Why do you say that?”

“Well, I was in band for a couple years back in middle school. I played the flute and I think that I was pretty awful at it. I just thank God that I didn’t play the clarinet or the oboe, anything with a reed actually, because all you would have heard was something similar to a cat getting stepped on all the time.”

He laughs at the comment and shakes his head as he tries to calm down his laughter. “I doubt you were that bad,” he says, a laugh still evident in his voice. “I mean, don’t they have chairs that let you know how good you are?”

“Yeah, they do, but it’s in comparison to everyone in that section of your band. We had some really good players, and then the rest of us sucked a lot.”

“Well, what chair were you?”

“I was fifth chair out of fourteen girls.”

“That’s not bad at all. That means that, what, nine girls were not as good as you.”

“Well, they were really, really bad,” I point out with a chuckle. “Anyway, um, how long have you been playing guitar?”

“For around nine years now,” he replies.

“Nine years? Okay, then that means you should be better than ‘not bad.’ I mean, not bad is a term you use when you’re just starting out or have been playing for a year or two. Nine years? That’s a lot of time and dedication.”

“Well, I grew up around it. My dad actually plays, so I guess I got that from him.”

“Ah, I see, so it’s like a genetic gift for music?”

“I guess you can call it that. So, since you say that music doesn’t seem to be your thing, what do you do when you’re not going to school and studying?”

I swallow hard, blanking out on how to reply to such a simple question. Quite frankly, I can’t remember what I used to do for fun before I had Trevor. I guess it’s because before Trevor, my life revolved around Kendall and what he wanted to do. And I don’t want to tell Brian that I take care of my son when I’m not going to school. I don’t want him to look at me sympathetically, feeling sorry for me because I’m a single teen mother.

“Do you not do anything for fun?” he asks jokingly, and I laugh nervously.

“No, it’s not that. It’s just… I don’t do anything extremely interesting. To be quite honest, for a long time my life pretty much revolved around Kendall.”

“The guy from the parking lot, right?”

“Yeah.”

“I don’t mean to sound crass or anything, but what were you doing with an asshole like him? I mean, you seem like a really sweet girl, so why were you with someone like him?”

I open my mouth to reply, but Loretta arrives with our food before I get a chance to start talking.

“One bacon cheeseburger,” she says as she places Brian’s food in front of him. “And one grilled chicken sandwich. Is there anything else I can get you two?”

Brian looks across the table at me, and I simply shake my head, letting him know that I’m fine. “Nah, we’re fine right now, Loretta. But thanks,” he tells her.

“It’s not a problem. Let me know if you need anything at all, alright?”

“Will do.”

“You two enjoy your food,” she says with a tiny smirk on her face before she turns to walk away. Maybe it’s just me being a little paranoid, but I’m really starting to think that she thinks that this is a date of some sort…

I attempt to brush off the sneaking suspicion and turn my attention to the food in front of me. It looks delicious, and quite honestly, I don’t know if I’ll be able to finish everything. I guess I had missed the part on the menu that said this came with a side of fries and a serving of coleslaw.

“Wow, this really does look great,” I comment as I lift up the bun of my sandwich and remove the slice of tomato that almost always is on these sandwiches.

“I take it you don’t like tomatoes.”

“Yeah, I’m not a huge fan. And for some reason, I always forget to ask them not to put it on when I order. I guess I just always think that it’s an inconvenience for the cooks to remember special orders, so I just take what I don’t like off when I get it.”

“I can honestly say that you are the only person I’ve ever met who thinks that.”

“Is that a bad thing?” I query, picking up my sandwich.

“Not at all,” he smiles. “It’s just different; different is good.”

“That’s good,” I chuckle, taking a bite of my food. “Mm, you were right about this sandwich,” I tell him once I’ve swallowed my food. “This is incredible!”

“I’m glad you like it.”

“Very much.”

We take a couple moments to dig into our food, and I’m really surprised at just how good it is. I guess I always had it set in my mind that diners were no better than fast food joints; and maybe some of them are, but this place is really exceptional.

“So, I don’t wanna sound like I’m being really nosy, but you didn’t get to answer my question earlier,” Brian says after taking a sip of his drink. “You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to; I’m just kind of curious because you just don’t seem to fit.”

“I don’t mind,” I reply, setting down my sandwich and taking a drink of my Coke. “I met Kendall in high school and I just thought he was the greatest. He seemed like he was really funny and smart, and it didn’t hurt that I thought he was really cute. We became friends and a little while after that, we started dating. Everyone thought it was kinda weird. I got a lot of comments about how I was too good for him, or that I was too sweet to be with a guy like him, but I never really paid much attention to them.”

“Why not?”

I let out a heavy sigh and shake my head. “He was my first boyfriend, and I thought that I was in love with him. He always talked about being together forever and even brought up marriage so many times that I really thought that I had found the one. Looking back on it now, I know I was stupid for thinking that, but I was only sixteen and I guess I was just gullible.”

“It was your first relationship; I think we all tend to be pretty naïve when it comes to those. Besides, it sounds like he was leading you on if he was the one who talked about marriage.”

“I guess so… But I shouldn’t have taken him seriously. I should have known that even though he was thinking of the future it didn’t mean that we were guaranteed to be together forever.”

“Well, I still think that he led you on, and that’s not right. He’s a jerk. I mean, the way I saw him yelling at you, I just… I couldn’t understand how he could be so mean to someone so sweet. You deserve better than that.”

I nervously bite the inside of my lip and let my gaze flicker over to him. My eyes meet his and I look into them for a moment. Maybe I was wrong about him; maybe he’s not the typical pretty boy prick I’ve been around before. Maybe he’s actually a really nice guy; a guy that I could actually be friends with.

“How can you say that? I wasn’t exactly sweet when we were in class. I was actually kind of a bitch to you. No, not kind of, I was a major bitch to you.”

“You weren’t that bad, and I will admit that I did come across a little strong,” he replies with a shrug, and a laugh passes from my lips. “But, I’ve got the chance to talk to you, get an idea of what you’re like, and I say that you’re sweet.”

“Thanks. You’re not as bad as I thought you were. But I’ve gotta ask one thing.”

“What’s that?”

“Was I really the first girl you tried that line on?”

“It wasn’t a line,” he laughs. “I really did think that you were worth talking to.”

“And why is that?”

“If I tell you, you’re just going to think that I’m saying a bunch of BS.”

“Maybe not. I mean, I have gotten to know you a little better, after all.”

“Alright; well, when I saw you, you just seemed different from the other girls. Like I told you in class, there’s just something about you that I find interesting. I can’t really put my finger on it, but I know that there was something about you that grabbed my attention.”

“Oh… Okay…”

“You think it’s a load of BS, huh?” he asks with a smirk, and I quickly shake my head.

“No, it’s not that. It’s just that… I don’t really know what to say… I mean, I’ve never grabbed anyone’s attention like that before. At least that I’m aware of, so it’s just kinda weird to hear that.”

“Oh. I didn’t mean to make you--”

“You’re fine, Brian,” I tell him before he can say another word.

“Alright…” he trails off, and we fall into silence again.

I bite the inside of my lip, trying to think of something to talk about, but nothing comes to mind. I take a sip of my Coke and go back to eating my lunch. Brian does the same; probably because he can’t think of anything to say either. Leave it to me to find a way to ruin a fairly decent conversation.

“So, um, I’m going to be nosy again. Is that alright?” he asks, finally breaking the quiet between us.

“Sure,” I reply. I’m willing to talk about almost anything to avoid these awkward silences.

“Well, from the way he was talking to you and what he said about you, I take it that you and your ex didn’t exactly have a friendly breakup. What happened? I mean, you said that you guys were friends before, so how did you guys turn out to be like this?”

Except for that…

“Well, um, I guess we were just drifting apart towards the end of it… He thought that I was going to ruin his life; he thought that I had cheated on him; he thought a lot of stuff that wasn’t true. I guess when it came down to it all, he thought that I wasn’t good enough for him and he was willing to say and believe anything that could get me out of his life.”

“Well, he’s an idiot, and you’re better off without him.”

“Thanks,” I smile. “So, we’ve gone on about my past relationships, what about yours? Do you have any terrible exes?”

“I’ve got my share of bad exes; believe me,” he answers with a somewhat nervous chuckle.

“Really? How bad?” I ask, taking another drink of my soda.

“Well, my last girlfriend cheated on me with one of my best friends.”

“What!?” I cough, practically choking on my drink.

“Yeah… I caught them together… It was just… Yeah… She’s not my girlfriend anymore, and he’s not my friend now.”

“I would imagine so… Wow… I think you might win in the bad ex category.”

“It was bad, but at least my ex doesn’t harass me in parking lots. I think you’ve still got the worst one.”

“Well, then how about we say that you’ve got the worst ex-girlfriend, and I’ve got the worst ex-boyfriend?” I suggest, and he smiles.

“I think that would work.”

“I’m really sorry that happened to you, Brian. No one deserves to have that happen to them.”

“And I’m sorry that everything with Kendall happened to you.”

“Thanks. It was a learning experience, though. Now I know to stay away from guys like him.”

“I’m sure you’ll have no problem finding someone better.”

“Thanks; you, too.”

He smiles at me, and I find myself returning the gesture. He really isn’t that bad after all. I wasn’t excepting that.

“So, how’s everything over here?” Loretta’s voice chimes, pulling me out of the slight daze I had fallen into.

“Everything’s great, Loretta,” Brian replies, and I see a grin creep across her face.

“Great; so, is there anything else I can get you two?”

“Um… I don’t know. Piper, are you still interested in trying out a milkshake?”

“Uh… I would, but I don’t think I have enough room. Sorry.”

“No need to be sorry; maybe next time,” he says, and I nod my head in response. “I guess we’ll just take our check now.”

“Alright; I’ll be right back with it.” She leaves to retrieve our check, and I reach into my back pocket to get my wallet out.

“What do you think you’re doing?” Brian asks me.

“Um, I’m getting out my money so I can pay for my food?” I reply blankly, not really sure how else to respond.

“Don’t worry about it, Piper. I’ve got it.”

“You don’t have to do that, Brian; really. I’ve got enough to--”

“Sorry, Piper, but I’m not lettin’ ya pay. I wanted to take you to lunch, so I’m going to be the one to pay the bill.”

“I can’t let you do that.”

“I really don’t mind, though.”

I sigh in defeat. There isn’t any way that I can possibly win this little disagreement, so I might as well just quit while I’m ahead. “Okay…” I mumble, and he gives me a satisfied grin.

Loretta returns with our check, and Brian pulls out his wallet to cover the bill. He takes the money out and puts it in the little black sleeve and closes it up before handing it back to her.

“I left your tip in there like usual,” he tells her.

Damn; he even took care of the tip before I even had a chance to…

“Thanks, Brian,” she smiles. “I hope to see you again, Piper.”

“I’ll be sure to stop by sometime,” I reply before she walks away from us for the last time. “Well, I guess it’s time for us to get going then, huh?”

“I guess so. But I don’t think they will mind if we stick around and talk for a little while longer. Well, that is if you want to.”

I bite my lip. As odd as it may sound, I kinda do wanna stick around and talk for a while. But I really shouldn’t. I’ve got Trevor waiting for me at home, and I have missed him like crazy. I pull my cell out of my pocket to check the time and I shake my head.

“I’m really sorry, but I should get going home.”

“That’s alright. We can always talk some other time.”

“Yeah, of course. I mean, we do have time to kill before Abnormal,” I say as we get up from the table and start to head towards the door.

“Yeah, there’s always that. But we could always do this again, too. You know, hang out after class, grab lunch, stuff like that,” he suggests as he opens the door for me.

“Oh… Yeah, maybe. I mean, depends how busy I am and everything.”

“Of course, yeah, I understand.”

“Yeah…”

We walk to our cars together, and once again silence hangs over us. We stop walking once we reach our vehicles and stand awkwardly in front of each other. I look down at my feet, nervously fidgeting in my place. I don’t really know what I should say to him. Do I just say bye? Should I wait for him to say something first? I don’t really know what to do.

“Well, um, thanks for lunch and everything,” I say.

“It’s not a problem. Thanks for going to lunch with me. I had a really good time.”

“Yeah, I did, too. Um… I guess I’ll be seeing you Friday?”

“Definitely.”

“Alright; I’ll be seeing you then.”

“Okay.”

I give him a tiny wave goodbye, and he softly chuckles, mimicking the gesture. I turn to walk to the driver’s door and pull my keys out of my pocket to unlock the door. And I realize that I forgot to ask him one very important question.

“Hey, Brian?”

“Yeah?” he replies, turning around to face me.

“How did you know my name?”

“You still don’t know?”

“I wouldn’t be asking if I did. Will you please tell me? I mean, I did go to lunch with you, so I think I deserve to know.”

A smirk pulls at his lips and he shakes his head. “I don’t think this counts.”

“How does it not count? I went to lunch with you.”

“Yeah, after you rejected my offer.”

“But I eventually accepted it, so it counts.”

“Sorry, Piper. The offer for lunch was still good, but not telling you how I know. That is going to be my little secret now.”

“Oh, that is so not fair! Please tell me? I really wanna know.”

“I’m psychic,” he replies.

“Don’t buy it,” I tell him as I shake my head. “How do you really know?”

“You really wanna know?”

“Of course I do!”

“I’ll tell you Friday.”

“Promise?” I ask him with a raised eyebrow.

“I promise.”

“Alright, but if you don’t tell me on Friday I will totally kick your ass.”

“Well, I don’t want that,” he chuckles. “I promise that you’ll find out Friday.”

“Alright.”

“Bye, Piper.”

“Bye, Brian,” I say before I unlock my car and slip inside. I start up my car, buckle up, and take one last glance over at Brian. He really isn’t as bad as I thought he’d be. I wonder if he’s got any more surprises in store for me.