What Can I Say?

"I'm runnin' my mouth just like I've got her but I surely don't because she's so rock and roll and out of my league. Is she out of my league? I hope not. I'm in trouble, I'm so cliche, see that word just wears me out, makes me feel just like another boy to laugh and joke about." - NeverShoutNever!

Melody entered the small dinner on the out skirts of town where she had been on many occasions. Her favorite booth was already occupied by her eating companion, his dark curls visible above the back of the seat. She passed the uniformed waitresses and took her seat across from him.

"Hi." She said as she settled into her seat.

He nodded his head as his way of a greeting her. He glanced at her and noticed her concern filled blue eyes studying him. He had to ease her worries some how and make her see he's fine.

"I like this place." He commented looking around the restaurant. The little dinner had character with its aged waitresses and old fashioned feel. "It’s cool."

"I love it. I come here a lot when I can't sleep or need to get away from the city."

A waitress set a cup of coffee in front her. Melody sent the waitress a smile in thank you.

"The usual?" The waitress, Patty, asked Melody.

"Please." Melody said with a laugh.

Patty turned to Nick expectantly. "And you?"

"I'll have a burger and fries with a diet Coke."

"Alright. I'll have this out to you soon." Patty left the two alone again.

"You have a usual?" Nick asked as an actual smile snaked its way on to his face.

"Yes. I told you I come here a lot."

"I see." Nick said as he examined the table top.

Patty set a glass of diet Coke in front of Nick then left quickly.

"She thinks we're a couple." Melody whispered.

Nick glanced at Patty and saw her watching them. "Why?"

"Because I've never brought anyone here before." Melody answered bringing her gaze back to Nick. "So feel special."

"Oh, I do." Nick said seriously. "Thanks for meeting me here."

Melody smiled at him. "Of course."

Nick didn't know why she was being so nice to him like this. She had been fairly nice to him when they worked on the song together but that was all business. It was like she was purposefully being nice to him.

"You saw me yesterday." Nick stated as his memory came flooding back. He remembered the fight they had and drinking. He remembered Melody finding him on the ground crying and she helped him.

"What are you talking about?" Melody asked all playfulness leaving her.

"You know."

Melody sighed and sat back against her seat. "Yes I did see you."

"I'm sorry." Nick said swirling his straw around in his drink. "I shouldn't have treated you like that, and I'm sorry you had to see me like that."

"Why?" Melody asked her eyes holding Nick's dark eyes with her light ones.

"Why am I sorry?" Nick asked confused.

"No. Why are you like this?"

Nick broke the intense gaze and looked out the window next to them. "It’s a long story."

"I have all day." Melody replied.

Before Nick could begin his tale Patty arrived with their food. "Here you go."

She set the food down and left the two alone once more, not lingering like she normally did. Melody smiled to herself liking the thought of her and Nick together.

"Alright so do you want me to start at the beginning or when I really started my demise?" Nick asked as he picked up his burger.

"The beginning." Melody decided. She stuck a fork in her omelet as she spoke.

Nick gathered his thoughts as he ate his burger. "Well it really started a couple months after I left New York."

Melody froze mid bite of her omelet, the fork positioned near her mouth. "When we met?"

"Yes." Nick said around his mouth full of food. "Anyway, I was sitting in my room trying to write a new song for the next Jonas Brother album when I realized I couldn't think of anything. I tried starting a new song and nothing. I did this for days; start a song then never finish it."

"Like what happened before we met?" Melody asked. She was fully immersed in what Nick was saying, her food practically forgotten.

"Yeah only worse. The first time this happened I was still writing songs but they were just not "Jonas" friendly." Nick replied using air quotes around Jonas. "But this time I couldn't write anything. I threw most of those songs away."

Nick paused to eat some more of his food. "Then a friend of mine asked me to come to a party with him, and that's when I first drank."

Melody pushed her now empty plate away from her and took a drink of her cold coffee. "Do you do anything else?"

"You mean like drugs?" Nick asked earning a nod from Melody. "Yes. I tried pot once, but didn't like the effect. And one time I was drunk enough to snort some coke but other wise no. I hate the way drugs make me feel."

Nick took a drink of his soda then continued. "Besides each time I did that my diabetes almost killed me."

Melody furrowed her brow. "Killed you?"

"Yeah. My blood sugar went so high I almost died."

"And drinking doesn't do that?" Melody asked.

"Not as bad, as long as I don't drink too much." Nick said with a shrug. "Not that care when I'm drinking I just do whatever, not thinking about the consequences. I wasn't in a good place. I'm still not in a good place."

He set his hands on the counter as he spoke. "I wanted to die. Sometimes I still want to die."

"Nick." Melody whispered. "All because you couldn't write?"

"No. I lost my two true loves." Nick said with a sad smirk. "I lost my music and you."