Cross My Heart

We had just got back into our hotel room after our show. It was an amazing show, and everyone was at an all time high at the moment. We were all getting ready to get some sleep, Marque and Keith were throwing their clothes back and forth at one another. Some how, all of their tee-shirts got mixed up, so they were trying to find their stuff. While Keith wasn't paying attention, Marque balled up a t-shirt of Keith's and threw it at Keith's head. Keith was startled, but continued laughing. I loved how cheerful he had been the past few weeks. Keith's phone starting ringing, and he answered it, ninja-dodging his clothing. “Hey Josh.” Keith said, a happy grin on his face. There was a pause for Josh to speak.

“You sound rough. What's up?” Keith asked. There was a long pause of silence. Keith sat down on the bed, his happy grin now wiped from his face. “I am now. Why?” Everyone had stopped what they were doing, and was now looking at Keith. A few minutes after Keith had sat down, he made a jerky movement, like he was just punched in the stomach. “Fuck...seriously? When...” Keith stopped talking to listen. “Well...thanks for telling me Josh. I appreciate it.” Keith said. His hand started to shake when he closed his cellphone. We all looked at him for a few seconds. He looked like he had just completely shut himself down.

“Keith...is everything alright?” Marque asked. I got up from my chair and walked over to him and sat next to him. I placed my hand on his shoulder, and her jumped slightly, almost like he forgot we were with him. He looked at me, his eyes were showing so much pain. He looked up at Marque, then Airin.

“There...there was an...explosion at a nightclub in Vancouver.” He paused to take a long breath. “Olivia and Brandon were there.” He said in a near whisper. He started to shake a little bit.

“What...what are you getting at?” I asked him. I looked at his face more closely. I looked back at Airin and Marque. They seemed to know what was going on, because Marque's face was buried in Airin's chest. I looked back at Keith. He mouthed the word 'gone' to me. I re-said the word to myself a few times, before I finally realized what had happened. “Are...are you...really?” I didn't know what to say. I put my hand over my mouth.

“That's what Josh said. “ Keith said, his breathing was heavy. His entire body started to shake. I wrapped my arms around him. Keith remained unresponsive, except for his breathing. It remained a consistent heaving pattern. He shook me off of him and stood up. “I think I just need to go for a walk. “ Keith said. No one else replied. We just let him leave. Keith walked out of the door swiftly, his head bowed down. The other three of us didn't say a thing to one another. Airin was the first the break the silence.

“Holy shit.” He said. He laughed slightly, but his laugh shook. Like he was trying to prevent himself from crying. He always tried to make any situation lighter. It failed on occasion.

“Brandon AND Olivia?” Marque said. Airin pressed his palms up against his eyes, trying to prevent tears falling down his face. Airin didn't cry that often. Marque had a few tears escape his eyes. Marque didn't know Brandon, or Olivia that well. Airin and I did. I, however, had not even cried a little bit. I was still waiting for it all to set in. I wasn't at all close to Olivia, but I then felt bad for saying all the rude things I had said about her. I was close to Brandon, in the weird, family way. He was my cousin, so I did have a little bit of an extra bond with him. I stood up off the bed and walked towards the door.

“I'm going to go with Keith.” I said, opening the door. I knew that Keith probably wanted to be alone, but there was something in the back of my mind that told me otherwise. My instincts just sent me jogging down the hallway. I didn't even know if Keith actually went that way, but I was going that way. I finally found him sitting outside on the curb. I walked up next to him and sat down. He didn't move his head, but I saw he looked at me through the corner of his eye. We sat in silence for a solid 10 minutes. I kept checking my cellphone every few minutes, and after about 10, Keith sighed.

“You know what the last thing I said to Brandon was?” He asked me. I shook my head. “I said that he was a 'raging alcoholic and he would never amount to anything'.” he said. His voice was shaking with regret. “The last thing I said to Olivia was that I basically hated her.” Keith said. He brought his knees up to his chest and rested his arms and chin on his knees. “I told myself I would never say horrible last things to people, in case I never saw them again. I always try to be positive, but it get's so hard, ya know?” He looked at me. I just nodded. This was the first time I was really seeing the 'real' Keith Alexander Greene. “Sometimes, I just wish that I could look at someone, and just see what my future would be with them. If I knew all of this shit was going to happen with Olivia, I never would of married her.” Keith seemed a little choked up. I didn't know what to say. I didn't want to say anything. I was the kind who tended to listen to problems. I wasn't that great at giving advice. We were quiet for a few more minutes. “Huh...I'm kind of like an orphan now.” Keith said. “Both of my parents are dead. My brother is dead. Even my wife is dead.” Keith scoffed lightly. “I have no one.”

My head snapped up. “Don't say that.”

“Say what?”

“That you have no one.” I said. Keith looked a little confused. “You will ALWAYS have me. Or Airin and Marque. Even Josh, Matt and Jazz.” I said sternly. “And my parents.” Keith opened his mouth to say something else, but I shushed him. “No. My parents were more like parents to you then yours were. I know that's mean of me to say, but it's true.” I said. Keith looked down at the ground for a few seconds, then back up at me.

“That is true. I saw your family more than my own. “ Keith said.

“So, don't you EVER say that you have no one Keith.” I said again. I put my hand on his shoulder. “And remember, we all love you.” Keith smiled lightly. He then leaned over and hugged me. I felt him start to cry on my shoulder. I wrapped my arms around him and rested my chin on his shoulder. Then, everything started to sink in. My eyes started to well up, and I squeezed them shut.

“Jaws...thank you. For everything.” Keith whispered.

“You're welcome Keith.”