H.B. and Gypsy

I should have expected this.

People repel from me. This always happens.

I mean, I know we arent really close or anything, but we both know that something must be different here. So, him shutting me out just makes me feel like maybe I was wrong about it. What if we just felt like we had some kind of special friendship? Maybe we felt like that because we are both lacking friends in our lives, so once one nice person shows up, we feel like it must be some kind of miracle.

Miracles only happen to people who deserve them.

Landon will only be friends with someone who deserves him.

Maybe I don’t deserve him.

Who the fuck am I kidding?

Of course I don't.

________________________________________________________________________

I lay on my bed, staring at the ceiling. I have been doing a lot of this lately. I rolled over on my side and glance at my nightstand. I saw the note Landon wrote me that one morning. I turned away from it and buried my head in my pillow.

I havent seen or talked to Landon in three days.

I sill have no idea what I might have done to cause this. I dwelled over it for hours. In fact, Im still dwelling over it.

I have come up with one reason.

I must have scared him away. I was very…well, affectionate with him. Like, I was always touching him or calling him a pet name. I couldn’t fucking help it.

And I hate myself for it.

For the past three days, all I have been doing is hiding the cave I call my room. I would leave only to use the bathroom, eat, or give some kind of communication to my parents.

That’s it.

While in my room, I would attempt to write something over and over again, but I never got something I liked. It always ended up being depressing or some shit.

A dreary mess of useless words.

I sighed and looked out my window. I could see Mrs.Lee’s car. They were home. I wonder what he’s been doing the past couple days…maybe the same thing Ive been doing. I look away from his house and all the sudden my door slams open.

I quickly turn my head around and see my dad standing there.

I say nothing.

“Why the fuck why wont you come out of your room?” He snarls. “Your mother is worried sick. Now get your ass downstairs and make her feel better.” He continues, walking over to me and grabbing my arm and roughly pulling me out of my room. I wince in pain.

He was hurting me.

“Please don’t do that,” I whimper and try to pull my arm away. “You’re hurting me.”

He scowls. “Oh, grow up. You’re a man. You can take it.”

“Fuck you.” I whisper under my breath.

My dad stopped dead in his tracks and slowly looks at me.

Oh shit.

“Why don’t you say that again,son?” He says sickingly slow. He was so mad.

Im dead.

“I s-said-“ I try and answer but he cuts me off.

Slap.

“You know better then to talk to me like that, Ever. Do have any idea what your in for right now?” He says with a sharp angry whisper. I shudder and nod my head. I close my eyes in fear.

He pulls me into the guest bedroom right next to the stairwell and slams the door, still holding onto my arms tightly. I whimpered and tried to hide my face.

I knew where this was going.

As soon as I felt his knuckles impact with my cheek bone, I fell to the ground with the force of the blow. As soon as I hit the ground, he grabs my arm and pulls me back up, my feet scrambling to find balance with the dizziness in my head. I was trying to hold onto anything to keep me from falling.

“Stand the fuck up!” He growls and takes my neck in his hands. Squeezing. His fingers stopping my pulse slowly under the pressure. Im clawing at his hands frantically, trying to get oxygen. My eyes start to roll in the back of my head.

I cant breath. I feel my feet slowly being lifted a half an inch off the floor.

Then he drops me. I gasp and grab my throat, trying to gain back lost air.

He kneeled down and pulled my hair up so I was on my knees, and slaps me straight across the face. “You never learn, do you son?” He snarls and forcefully picks me up, making me stand on my aching legs. I was wobbling from side to side, quickly losing consciousness. “Piece of shit.” He adds and pushes me down once again. Once Im on the floor, in a curled ball of fear, I see his shoes getting closer to me.

“N-no” I whisper in pain and try to crawl away.

“Oh, no you don’t.” He sneers. He grabbed me by the waist and stands me up.

I try and focus my scared on eyes on is face.

“Until next time.” He laughs with an evil grin. I let he tears start to fall down my face and with one last shove, he lets me fall to the floor.

He walked out and shut the door, leaving me there.

I laid there and cried.

I need someone.

Landon.

I reach up to my face and feel around to try and see what the damage must be. My eye was swollen and my cheek bone was inflamed. I lick my lip and taste blood.

“No...” I whisper and quietly cry to myself.

I try to sit up and slowly walk to the window. I wince with every step.

I needed to see him.

I go over to the window and open it. I’m going to climb down.I swing my leg over the ledge and begin my way down. Im surprised I did this with my injuries. As soon as I reach the floor, I practically begin to run across the street, to Landons house.

As I get closer to his door, I start to sob. I was so exhausted. I limp over to his door and knock on it, almost frantically. I wait there and feel myself beginning to feel incredibly weak. I almost turn around and go back home when the door opens.

Landon was standing there. As soon as he sees me his eyes go wide.

“D-doll.” I whimper and let the tears flow down my face, I take one step closer to his shocked face and begin to feel dizzy.

“E-ever?! Wh-what happened?!” He whispers in a panic.

I couldn’t answer, I was beginning to lose my vision.

“I-“ I begin. My eyes roll back.

And I fainted.

_______________________________________________________________________

I feel something warm of my forehead.

I also hear voices.

“How did he get like this, Landon? What happened?” I hear a women ask.

“I-I d-don’t kn-know.” I hear Landon sniffle. His voice was louder. He was closer to me. Was he crying?

“Well, he cant just get all beat up like that out of nowhere, sweetie.” She says in a quiet worried voice.

“I-I hope h-he’s ok.” He quietly cries and I feel the weight of whatever cushion I was on change. Someone was sitting next to me.

“Im sure he will be ok, honey. Just give him some time. We will find out what happened.” She consoles Landon. I hear her heels leave the room.

Landon doesn’t say anything. I just feel him grab my hand.

I decided to wake up and slowly peeled my eyes open. My eye hurt so bad. It was probably swollen to twice its size.

“E-Ever?” Landon cries and takes the wash cloth off my forehead in a hurry. I sit up slowly and he instantly hugs me. He pulled away and held my face in his hands.

“Y-your dad?” He whispers so only I could hear him. I look straight at him and nod. My tears returning. He hugs me again and whispers in my ear.”I-Im so s-sorry I i-ignored you.” He was beginning to cry again. “I f-feel like m-maybe if I was th-there, he c-couldn’t have d-done this.” He sadly admits.

“Why, Landon?" I whisper in pain. “What made you just shut me out like that?”

He pulls away and sits in front of me. “A-at my s-session, I r-realized some th-things Ive b-been w-worrying about a-are true.”

“What things?” I softly ask him, trying to ignore the pulsing pain in my neck, where my dads hand had choked me.

He looks up at me nervously. “Th-things h-having to d-do with y-you. I-im afraid I-Im going to g-get hurt. Not j-just physically, b-but e-emotionally.”

“You know I wouldnt hurt you, Landon. How could someone hurt something like you?” I said and put my hand on his leg. He looked up at me.

“I w-would s-say the same th-thing about y-you, but l-look at your p-perfect face. Someone h-hurt you. You d-don’t deserve th-this.” He whimpers.

“Maybe I do.” I reply. “I don’t deserve the respect that you deserve. I don’t deserve to be friends with you. You are too special. And all I ever do is make you cry, I mean, look at you, you’re crying right now, sugar.” I whisper, my heart hurting.

“N-no, its th-the other w-way around. I am j-just a st-stuttering idiot, Ever.” He says sadly.

“No, you are not, Landon.” I say seriously and rest my head on the couch. I was in a lot of fucking pain. I try to itch my eyes but accidentally touch my sore eye.

“Fuck” I wince and hold my face in my hands.

“Do y-you n-need anything?” He sweetly asks me, sitting close to me and observing my ruined face.

I shake my head, “No, thank you.” Then turn to him. “How long have I been passed out for?”

“Only a-about twenty m-minutes, th-thank god.” He says softly. He then takes his fingers and very gently runs them down my neck.

“D-did he choke y-you?” He looked appalled.

I look away from him. “Yes. He’s never done that before. Im afraid its getting worse.” I fear the worst out loud.

He sniffles. I look at him and he was crying. “Please don’t cry, Ill be okay…eventually.” I try to make him feel better and I wipe his tears.

“I-im sorry, Ill s-stop crying. Th-this just m-makes me sad.” He tells me.

I sadly smile at him. “Me too, but you know what?”

He peers at me through his eyelashes. “W-what?”

“You make me feel better everyday, so thank you.” I say to him and he smiles and laughs shyly.

“Does my mom know im here?” I ask. He shakes his head.

“Fuck, I should probably tell her. She was worried about me already.” I explain to him while standing up.

“W-Why?” He whispers.

I turn to him and he stands up too. “Well, for the past three days, I kinda locked myself up in my room and didn’t talk to anyone. I shut down.”

Landons smile drops. “Im s-sorry.” I lift his chin up.

“Hey, Its ok.” I smile. He still looked sort of sad. “Want to come over my house tonight?” I say after a second of standing there. He looked up at me.

“I d-don’t want y-you t-to go back there...” He softly worries.

“Don’t worry, If you’re with me, then nothing will happen. You've kinda become my security blanket in a weird way.” I laugh softly. He laughs.

“Better than n-nothing. ” He giggles and we go up to his room.

“I-im gonna grab s-some stuff, o-ok?” He asks me politely.

“Sure, love. Go ahead.” I smile.

He chose some pj’s, his sketch pad, and some c.d’s. I sat on his bed and waited for him while he packed the stuff in a bag.

“K-k. Im r-ready.” He smiles at me and we begin to walk out of his room.

“I-Im going t-to Ever’s h-house!” Landon yells to his mom. She responds with “Ok! Love you!”

“L-love you t-too!” He finishes and we continue on to my house.

I grab his hand as we walk to my house. We almost reach my door and I start to get nervous.. I hate having to face my dad after he does shit to me.

We get to my door and quietly walk inside. Thank god, both of my parents were both up in their room. I take him up to my room and he sets his bag down on the floor, next to my bed.

“Y-your bed l-looks so u-untouched, ever. When’s th-the last t-time you slept?” He asks me with a furrowed brow.

I think.

Jesus, Its been two days. After Landon started ignoring me, I couldn’t sleep those two nights.

“Um…two days.” I say quietly.

“Wh-what?! Why?” He questions with a confused face.

“For some weird reason Im have a hard time sleeping if Im not with you. It’s…I don’t know…” I try to explain to him nervously and go to sit next to him on my bed.

He looked so shy all the sudden. “R-really?” He whispers.

“Really.” I smile.

“M-me too.” He reveals to me, his cheeks blushing again.

This kid made me smile too much.
________________________________________________________________________

Me and Landon killed time just talking and looking at my book collection. We decided that Im going to start lending him books to read. Im excited for him. I have so many things I want him to read. So many things I want to share with him.

Landon rests his head on my shoulder and yawns.

My heartbreaker is sleepy.

He slowly closes his eyes and his body starts to go limp. He was definitely falling asleep. “Landon…” I tap his face lightly. His eyes blink open slowly.

“Go change, then we can sleep ok?” I say softly and help him up. He nods and I hand him his clothes and he walks into the bathroom. While he was in the bathroom, I quickly change into my pj’s.

He slowly walks out of the bathroom, and without a word, he climbs into bed, and curls up to me instantly. I reach up and flick the lights off, then scoot closer to him. We lay there for 15 minutes in a quiet hush.

I look at his sleeping face his breathing changed. He was asleep. I curl my arms tighter around him and begin to feel more relaxed every second. I havent been able to feel this way in three days.

With one last sigh I close my eyes and begin to fall deep in sleep.

Just the way it should be.

With him.