Just Give Me One More Chance

“Why?” Jack blurted out, then covered his mouth with his hand, blushing slightly. “Sorry. You don’t have to answer that.”

I just shrugged. “I got picked on a lot. There was only me and two other kids there that were above the average so the little kids liked to remind us about how no one wants us…”

“What do you mean ‘above the average’?” Alex asked curiously.

“The average age of adoption. Once you’re ten, no one wants you anymore. You’re too old.” I explained, another shrug falling over my shoulders.

“Who were the other two kids? Were they your friends?” Zack asked tentatively. I shook my head.

“Posy didn’t talk. Not to anyone. And her older brother Rory… Well, he’s a different story.” I waved my hand, brushing the subject off.

There was a long pause. The silence that filled the room was about to get to me until I looked up and saw the disappointed look plastered on Zack’s face.

What? Was I not what he wanted? Was I not good enough?

“You can take me back. I know you don’t want me. I’m sorry you spent all this time and money getting the room done.”

Zack snorted. “Is that what you think? That I wouldn’t want you?” He questioned, disappointment still written all over his face. I could read him like a book.

“It’s easy to see, Zack. I can read it right on your face. You’re so disappointed you got stuck with a daughter like me. I don’t really blame you. I wouldn’t want me around either.”

Jack stood and left the room, dragging Alex with him. I was thankful. This wasn’t exactly something I wanted to share with the whole world.

“I’m disappointed because you’re my princess, I’m supposed to protect you, take care of you. And I didn’t. I messed up and I didn’t try hard enough. And maybe if I had, I would’ve found you sooner…”

“It’s really not your fault. You’re putting all this blame on yourself when the only one that we can really point a finger at is Maysilee. She’s the one gave me up in the first place. She’s the one who killed herself. She’s the one who never told you where I was and she knew. She knew. The Conner’s liked to come and visit me and they’d tell me that they talked to my mom, told her where I was so she could come see me, but she never did.”

“You’re mom loved you!” He protested, pointing a finger at me.

“Not enough to come get me. Not enough to tell you where I was.”

The burning in my eyes from all the crying that today had brought was making me angry and it was easy to see that Zack wasn’t buying it.

Great. So he believes a dead chick over me.

It wasn’t good, but it was a start. At least I had a father now.

***

I jumped, my eyes instantly snapping open, Zack leaning over me, his hands on my shoulders.

The nightmares, they were back.

I clung to him tightly, glad I finally had someone to hold me while I cried; someone to tell me that it was okay, it was just a dream.

“Cari, it’s okay. I promise you’re safe here.” He whispered, kissing my forehead. I wrapped my arms tightly around him. He sat down next to me in the bed.

“I know. I was just so scared, Zack.”

“You could call me ‘dad’ if you want.” He said quietly, once I’d stopped crying. I didn’t respond. I kept my breathing slow and even. I wasn’t, but he thought I was sleeping so he left.

I waited until I heard his own bedroom door shut before I stood up. I pulled my hair back into a messy bun and tip toed out of my room. I wasn’t really sure where I was going but anywhere was better than that claustrophobic room. I stepped out the sliding glass door and onto the patio, taking in the cool midnight air. I slumped down into one of the chairs and took deep slow breaths, counting the stars to calm me down.

“Can’t sleep either?” I jumped at the voice, nearly slipping out of my chair.

“Yeah. Nightmares.” I mumbled, sitting up straighter. Jack nodded, sitting next to me. He sipped on a water bottle he’d gotten from I’m assuming the fridge as we sat in silence. “Mind if I have a sip?”

“I have AIDS.” He replied, looking serious even though I knew he wasn’t, holding the water bottle protectively. I rolled my eyes.

“I’ll get my own then, Mr. Selfish.” I teased, standing up and tripping over the leg of the chair I’d been sitting in. My knee hit the ground and I stood, taking notice of the scrape. I sighed. “I hate it when I do things like this.” I walked into the kitchen, Jack following close behind. He pulled a first aid kit seemingly out of nowhere and I wiped my knee with a disinfectant wipe and placed a bandage over the cut.

Jack got a water bottle for me and I took a sip.

“Why do you guys even have one of those?” I asked.

“Alex’s niece comes over a lot. She’ll be two in August. We keep it just in case she gets hurt.” Jack explained.

“So, all four of you live here?”

“Yeah. Which is why it’s gonna be really hard getting used to you being here. We’re all so used to it being just us guys. Now we have a little girl in the house-”

“Let’s just get this straight, I. Am. Not. A. Little. Girl. Understood?”

Jack chuckled and nodded. “Of course you’re not a little girl. You’re all grown up.”

I rolled my eyes. “That’s not what I meant. I just don’t want you guys treating me like a two year old, because I’m not.”

“I know that. You’re a lot more grown up then you should be though.”

I started to question what he meant, but shrugged it off. He’s twice my age, he probably knows what he’s talking about. Then again, he is Jack.

***

I woke the next morning, showered and picked through my closet. I found nothing worthy of wearing so I walked down the hallway in my robe, looking for Jack’s room. I could hear all four of the boys downstairs with two girlish voices that I didn’t recognize. I found Jack’s room and slid inside. I picked through his closet as well, finding a pair of skinny jeans and a JAGK shirt that I deemed wearable. I slid the jeans on and not so surprisingly, they fit well except for the length. I rolled them up until they were the correct length and slid the tee shirt over my head. It fit snugly. I pulled my still wet hair into a high ponytail and dropped my robe in my room in the hamper before I made my way down the stairwell for breakfast.

I found the kitchen with ease, making a bowl of cereal until I couldn’t take the eyes boring into me any longer. “Is there a problem?” I snapped, turning around to look at the four boys.

“Yeah, you’re wearing Jack’s clothes.” Zack snapped back, his eyes narrowing.

“And that’s an issue because….?” I stretched the word ‘because’ out much longer than necessary.

“Go change clothes.” Zack persisted, not telling me why the clothes were inappropriate.

“Not unless Jack has a problem with it. Jack?”

“I’m cool. Just don’t put girly perfume stuff on them.” He stated with a shrug, going back to his cereal.

“It’s settled.” I proclaimed, pouring milk into my Lucky Charms.

“It is not. Go change. Now.” Zack ordered.

“Fuck on a cracker. Who jizzed in your Cheerios this morning?” I snapped, stomping up the stairs to change clothes. I heard various chuckles and giggles at my comment, but I knew Zack didn’t think it was funny. I’d probably be grounded.

I changed into a pair of blue jean cut off shorts, a white cami, and a baby blue off the shoulders, three-quarter sleeved sweater, adding a pair of neon green converse to the outfit before I slid down the banister of the stairwell.

What can I say? I was much too lazy to walk the stairs.

I grabbed my bowl of cereal and sat down at the table with the rest of the crew. “It’s nice to finally meet you, Rian. I’m Carissa.”

“It’s nice to meet you as well, Carissa. These are my little sisters, Gabriella and Ellarie. Even though they look almost nothing alike, I assure you, they are twins.”

“Gabby.”

“Ellie.”

They corrected him simultaneously. I giggled and they wore matching smirks. He was right. They looked almost nothing alike. They were both obviously older than me, but couldn’t be any older than seventeen.

Gabby was slightly pale with electric blue eyes and platinum blonde hair that was chopped into asymmetrical layers with bits of blue, red, black, pink, and purple died into her hair. She was thin, but the healthy kind and had a lip ring. She was currently wearing a bright pink, nearly skin tight, tank top with horizontal black stripes across it and a pink fluffed up skirt with a black lace ribbon around the top that tied into a big bow on her left hip. Bright pink converses covered her no doubt perfectly pedicured toes.

Ellie was almost her opposite. Her skin was even paler than Gabby’s and her eyes were an all knowing grey. Her hair was choppy too, but the layers were evened out and she didn’t have any crazy colors, just the natural ebony black locks, but she did have her eyebrow and nose pierced. She was wearing an outfit identical to Gabriella’s only hers was lime green and black. She had on the same neon converses that I did.

I couldn’t find a single resemblance to Rian in either one of them.

I smiled to the two of them, feeling so plain in comparison. “Hey Gabby, Ellie. I’m Cari.” I smiled shyly, finishing up my cereal before I washed the bowl and spoon.

“You guys should have a little girls day out and get to know each other.” Zack suggested. “You’ll be spending a lot of time together I’m sure.”