Confessions of a Teenage Zombie

The car ride was surprisingly silent, save for the sound of Jon as he tapped a beat on the steering wheel. I looked out the window, watching as we passed by all the houses. Houses I used to walk by as a child when I would go to school.

Seems like forever ago.

"So was that the house?" Alex asked, looking over at Jon. I also looked at Jon, who stopped tapping on the steering wheel and sighed. He looked over at Alex, but said nothing. Alex stuffed his hands in his pockets and looked down.

"What house?" I inquired, pretending to know nothing. Maybe not a good idea, considering it was my house, and the thought of me made Jon sad. He looked at me from the rearview window before turning on the radio.

Guess he wasn't going to talk about it.

A song ended, and a Miley Cyrus song came on. It was Party in the USA, which had me laughing. Alex stared at the radio as Jon started humming along. I feared that Jon had turned to the dark side after I died, but then remembered he was just trying to avoid the subject of my death.

I wanted to sing along, but I didn't. It would be too embarrassing if these two knew that I knew all the words. It's not because I wanted to, it just happened. Honest.

"Can I change the station?" Alex asked.

"No!" I shrieked, hitting his hand away from the radio. He turned and looked at me. Jon started chuckling. "I mean, don't you just absolutely positively enjoy the sheer beauty of Miley's oh so perfect voice?"

"Who?" Alex blinked, as did I. I guess he wasn't kidding when he said he stayed at his house a lot. But still, I'd think that he'd know about Miley Cyrus from going to school or something. I started laughing nervously and sat back. Alex kept staring at me, no doubt waiting for an answer.

"The girl singing this song. It's ridiculously catchy, am I right?" I asked. Alex slowly shook his head and brought his knees to his chest. "Well, that answer is probably for the better. You don't want to get sucked into liking some hit singles, because then you start hating yourself for liking things you promised yourself you wouldn't."

"I think you hit your head pretty hard on the road," Jon said, glancing at me. "I'm surprised you didn't bleed at all."

"I have a super thick skull," I stated, grinning. I slipped off my shoe and started wiggling my foot on Jon's shoulder, which was probably way more intimate than was appropriate considering that Jon barely knew Brendon McMurray.

"You better have clean fucking feet," Jon mumbled. I removed my foot from his shoulder and laughed nervously. He turned to me. "Hey, I didn't say don't do it; I just don't want any dirt on my shirt. You have dirty feet or something?"

"Only a dirty mind." I grinned. Alex looked back at me. "We all have one, good chap. Some just know more than others."

"He's a baby deer, McMurray," Jon stated, turning his attention back to the road. "So, like, no dirty jokes. We don't want the fuzz all over our asses for doing inappropriate things with minors."

"He's sixteen, and it's not like I'm touching him," I argued. Alex laughed nervously and slid lower into his seat. I was making him nervous. I turned to him. "Hey, get nervous now, but you're gonna have a girlfriend eventually."

"Or boyfriend," Jon said. I looked at him. "You're assuming he swings that way."

"Shut up!" Alex hissed. Jon chuckled and made a right turn. Alex sighed and stared out of his window. I leaned forward and put my chin on Alex's shoulder, turning my head to look at him. Damn, I was good at being all close and in someone's business.

"Hey, I'm not gonna be upset if you like guys. They're great, I like them," I stated. Alex looked at me. "No, really! I had one once, and it was amazing."

"We're not going to go into gross sex details are we?" Jon inquired. I looked at him. "Because if we are, I am leaving your stupid ass right in the middle of the road."

"Someone needs a nap." I sat back in my seat and crossed my arms over my chest.

Ten minutes later, and Jon parked in the parking lot. We were at a Pizza Hut; one Jon used to take me to all the time. He had us get a table while he got the food. I gave Alex the window seat, even though I actually really wanted it.

I figured that he was an awkward enough person, so he could just have it.

"Didn't you say your parents liked you eating healthy? How are you out with Jon getting a pizza?" I inquired.

"They just think he's taking me out to get fresh air in my lungs. They don't know pizza is part of the equation," Alex explained. He scratched his knee. "They're happy any time I'm out of the house. Not because they don't like me being around, but... you know, I just don't like it outside."

"Any reason?" I glanced at Jon, who was starting to walk to the table.

"I just don't." Alex shrugged his shoulders and sighed. "I rather stay in my pajamas and chill at home. I mean, it's not really socially acceptable to go around in your pajamas, which is fine, except people look at me oddly when I do go out in my pajamas."

"They're cute pajamas if it makes you feel any better." I smiled at Alex. He had on a black t-shirt with the Batman logo and black sweatpants. He laughed and looked out the window. Someone cleared their throat. I looked up seeing Jon. "Hey."

"Hi. Can I sit next to my friend?" he inquired. He had an edge to his voice that made me feel kind of like he didn't want me around, which seemed rude, considering that he invited me to tag along in the first place. I ignored it as I got up and sat across from Alex. Jon sat down and smiled at me. "Thanks."

"So where's the pizza?" I inquired, trying to push the few seconds of rudeness out of my mind. Jon chuckled.

"They don't just keep pizzas in the back, silly. They need to make it first," he explained. Made sense. I could smell the pizzas they were cooking, which seemed incredibly unfair. They smelled good, but they wouldn't taste good. To me, anyway. Jon and Alex were still alive, and had working taste buds. "So, McMurray, do you have a job?"

McMurray seemed so impersonal.

"No." I blinked. I used to work at a smoothie hut at the mall, but for obvious reasons, I lost my job. I couldn't tell Jon that, since he'd put two and two together. "But, you know, there's a gas station I have my eye on working at."

"You're kidding, right?" Jon inquired.

"Hey, I know I can't be some fancy barista like you, but gas doesn't pump itself!" I exclaimed. Jon and Alex looked at one another. "And next one of you is going to tell me that people pump their own gas now! Well who do you think will sell them their beef jerky!?"

"Hopefully not you with how loud you tend to get." Jon laughed and got up. "I need to pee. I'll be back."

"Thanks for the heads up." It was surprising to hear Alex use sarcasm. Jon furrowed his eyebrows and walked off. I arched an eyebrow at Alex. "I'm sorry, but I think he's being mean to you. He was all giggles in the car, and then we passed by that house."

"And hit me," I added. Alex looked down. "Hey, sorry. You guys didn't mean to, and I'm obviously okay. So, what's with that house?"

"It was his old best friend's house," Alex said. I glanced out the window. "I didn't meet Jon until about a month after the guy died, but... he was pretty upset. It took awhile to get him to talk about it. He likes to avoid the subject, which makes sense, but he can't just get upset at you because you resemble the guy, you know?"

"Yeah," I mumbled. "But hey, I didn't start... the fire? It look pretty burnt. The house."

"Yeah, a fire." Alex pushed some hair behind his ear. "I think Jon just felt like Brendon, which was his friend's name, left him. It's unfair to you, and I just think that he can't treat you like shit because of the similarity."

"He's been nice to me every other time I've been with him." I felt like I needed to defend Jon.

"Yeah. I think he just needs some time to clear his head." Alex smiled and looked over. I looked over too, seeing Jon walking back to the table, stupid grin on his face. "Dude, you look high as a cloud."

"The phrase is high as a kite, kiddo." Jon rubbed Alex's head before sitting down next to him. He looked at me. "Dude, your face looks like shit. You look grey."

I gasped and got up, running into the bathroom. I had to hope that my makeup hadn't somehow started to fade.