Kare Uta
roku.
“A girl,” the drummer said, running his hand over his bared stomach. His voice was pure awe, and he smiled dazedly as the ultrasound technician shut off the machines and handed him his sonogram. He gazed at it as he rubbed his stomach, and he bit his lip to hide his smile. “Can you believe it, Aoi-chan?” He looked up at his boyfriend, and he allowed himself a dimpled grin. “A girl.”
Aoi let his eyebrow raise, and he sat on the edge of the cot beside his drummer, and he smiled as his gaze rested on the sonogram. The blurry figure of their baby could be seen dead center in the scan, and it made his heartbeat skip. An instinctive pride welled up in him, and he smiled as Kai set the sonogram down and gently took his hand. “You sound excited for once, Kai-chan,” he teased, and he let his smile take on an amused curve as he looked at the drummer.
Kai blushed, dipping his head. “I’ve always wanted a little girl,” he said quietly, and his gaze flitted to the guitarist’s and then back to the sonogram. His hand stilled, and he sighed. “Aren’t you excited, Aoi-chan?” He peered up at his boyfriend, and he was wearing a smile, despite the fact that a part of him wasn’t sure that excitement was making Aoi look at him the way he was.
The guitarist took the sonogram from him, and he set it on the table beside Kai’s cot, leaning forward to gently kiss the drummer’s lips, his free hand resting over Kai’s on the bump that was their growing daughter. Then, he pulled back, and he smiled. “How’s that for an answer?”
Kai felt his blush intensify just a little as he heard the technician’s soft laughter. “Good enough for now,” he said, and he waited for the technician to leave the room quietly before he lifted his hand and brought the guitarist’s face back to his, giving him a longer kiss. The touch of his guitarist’s lips on his own proved to be exactly what he needed, and he let the kiss linger before he dropped his head back onto the thin pillow, smiling softly up at his love. The guitarist placed a hand over Kai’s, folding their hands together against his cheek, and the drummer felt his heart pang as Aoi gently kissed the back of his hand.
Aoi watched him as he blinked back tears, and he lifted an eyebrow, watching curiously as Kai allowed his hair to fall in his face as he looked away from the guitarist and gazed at his stomach instead. “Are you sure you’re excited, Kai-chan?” he asked quietly, and he blinked as the drummer sniffed but nodded and ran his hand over his bared torso anyway. “Do you want to go home?” The drummer shook his head. “Okay…so…what’s making you cry like this?”
Kai sighed, and he tried a smile. “Is it strange that I’m not completely sure?” He wiped at his eyes with his free hand, and then he let it rest back on his stomach. “I just…all I can think of is what to name her, and then the fact that I’m a man and that I shouldn’t be pregnant and that I shouldn’t be thrilled to have a little girl is all that comes back.” Aoi felt his heart hurt- he hoped that the drummer was still too good-natured to outright tell him that it was his fault, but it was also quite clear to the both of them who had impregnated who.
It became even more clear what kind of a situation they were in as Kai rubbed his stomach and Aoi held on to his hand, waiting for the moment where Kai would give up and just break completely, as the tears that kept falling from his eyes seemed to be warning him that it would happen. Kai’d been on the verge of tears for days now; it was only natural for Aoi to expect them to come after finding out their baby’s gender.
“I’m being silly,” he said quietly, and he tugged his shirt down and sat up. “The band will be calling soon…we should go home.”
Aoi nodded slowly, getting up to help Kai from the cot and then picking up the sonogram before letting the drummer take his hand, and he walked out of the room with him. And he wouldn’t say anything to the drummer, but for a moment in time, he didn’t feel ready.
He knew that he would have to be, though, and so he let the silence drag on as he drove them home, and he could only give the drummer’s hand the occasional supportive squeeze when he heard him sniffle and felt his hand tremble within his. He knew it wasn't something the drummer could have prepared himself for, and the fact that Kai hadn’t yelled at him or blatantly blamed him for getting him pregnant was something that astounded him. He’d assumed that it was tradition to yell and scream at the father of the baby, but the fact that he hadn’t been sent out to live with one of the other band members had proved him wrong.
The drummer was still quiet as he pulled the car into the driveway, and he gave the guitarist a soft kiss once they were inside the house.
“I’ll be in the bath,” he said, and Aoi nodded, watching him as he went up the stairs, peeling off his shirt in the process. Normally, the action would have made him want to follow his boyfriend up into the bathroom and join him in the bath, but this time, it made his heart hurt as Kai used his arm as a way to hide his softened chest as he trudged up the stairs. He almost looked defeated before he closed the door.
It killed him to see; the defeated drag in the drummer's step was his fault.
He took their jackets to the closet, and then he padded up to the bedroom to pick up the movies that Kai had taken a liking to lately, and then he took them downstairs, where he settled on the couch with the movies waiting on the coffee table. He turned the television on, and he waited Kai out. He made himself stay downstairs, and it was hard to, but he’d learned his lesson already. The last time he’d followed Kai to the bathroom, he’d been met by a very hormonal and teary-eyed Kai and he’d been scared within an inch of his life by a sobbing drummer that hadn’t slept through the night in a week.
He knew it was better to wait for his boyfriend to calm down rather than to force it. So he waited, and when he thought that Kai might have taken to bed for a nap, he picked up the movies he’d brought down and took them back up to the bedroom. The bathroom door was cracked open, though, and he smiled a little as he heard his drummer laughing softly.
“I’m already seventeen weeks, though,” Aoi heard him say, and he could imagine the smile on Kai’s face. “That’s four months…can you believe it? And Aoi-chan says I’m not showing a lot, but I can just feel it, y’know?” Kai sighed, and Aoi leaned against the wall next to the bathroom door, crossing his arms over his chest. “You should have seen his eyes when we were given the sonogram, Ru-chan…I could just...I could see him just falling in love.” Aoi bit his lip, and he closed his eyes as a few moments of silence ensued. “I’ll bet she’ll look so much like him.”
Kai’s voice had gotten quieter, and Aoi could imagine the drummer dipping his head and running his hand over his stomach, biting his lip and all. “I nearly broke today, thinking about it. He’s just…no child with his genes will be anything but beautiful.”
And Aoi could almost imagine Ruki’s response. The vocalist had most likely responded with a teasing comment about Kai being a hopeless romantic, and he’d probably noted that it was unnatural for Kai to be so content, because Aoi could hear the drummer’s soft laughter, and the light sound of it was heartwarming. He shut his eyes, and he let a smile spread across his lips.
“I think he’ll be a great father.” Again he let out a soft sigh- Ruki was probably teasing him again. “We’re in it together, after all, and you wouldn’t believe the way his eyes shine when he looks at me. It’s like he doesn’t care how pregnant I am.” Aoi allowed himself a peek into the bathroom, and through the crack of the door he saw Kai biting his lip and shifting in the tub. “I love him, Ru-chan, what else is there? I love him, and he’s so accepting, and we’re going to be a family.”
Aoi raised an eyebrow as silence followed, and he nudged at the bedroom door with his foot, making it open to the point where the doorknob knocked against the wall. He shifted away from the wall, going into the bedroom just enough, and he stopped just past the doorway, letting his head drop. His drummer’s optimism was really beginning to break his heart. He bit his lip, and he felt a tear drip down his cheek. “Gomenasai,” he murmured, and then he continued on to the bed, shedding his shirt and stretching out on the comforter, letting out a long sigh as he reached for the remote to the television and flipped through channels, waiting for Kai to join him in bed.
When he finally heard the soft pad of the drummer’s feet, he smiled and notched the volume down, and he chuckled softly as Kai tugged at his pajama pants, adjusting them on his stomach. He looked unsure of himself, and Aoi set the remote aside, holding his arms out for his drummer. Kai laid down on the bed beside him, and then he let the guitarist pull him flush to his side, being mindful as always of his tender stomach.
“You’re beautiful,” he said, and the drummer tipped his head back to look at him, and Aoi ducked his head to press a gentle kiss to Kai’s lips. “And I love every inch of you.”
Kai smiled; were there tears in his eyes? He let himself be kissed again, and he touched his guitarist’s cheek. “Ru-chan is excited for us,” he said. “And if it’s possible for him, then…I guess it’s possible for me, too.” He smiled as his love lifted an eyebrow and tried a crooked smile, and he shook his head, leaning in for a third lip lock and letting out a sigh as his entire body hummed in the echo of how good it felt to kiss Aoi. “No strings attached, I love you, and I’m in this one hundred percent as long as you are, too.”
“Anything for our little girl,” the guitarist whispered, and this earned him his favorite dimpled grin. He kissed the drummer’s forehead and smiled as they relaxed into each other; so far, he was still safe.
Aoi let his eyebrow raise, and he sat on the edge of the cot beside his drummer, and he smiled as his gaze rested on the sonogram. The blurry figure of their baby could be seen dead center in the scan, and it made his heartbeat skip. An instinctive pride welled up in him, and he smiled as Kai set the sonogram down and gently took his hand. “You sound excited for once, Kai-chan,” he teased, and he let his smile take on an amused curve as he looked at the drummer.
Kai blushed, dipping his head. “I’ve always wanted a little girl,” he said quietly, and his gaze flitted to the guitarist’s and then back to the sonogram. His hand stilled, and he sighed. “Aren’t you excited, Aoi-chan?” He peered up at his boyfriend, and he was wearing a smile, despite the fact that a part of him wasn’t sure that excitement was making Aoi look at him the way he was.
The guitarist took the sonogram from him, and he set it on the table beside Kai’s cot, leaning forward to gently kiss the drummer’s lips, his free hand resting over Kai’s on the bump that was their growing daughter. Then, he pulled back, and he smiled. “How’s that for an answer?”
Kai felt his blush intensify just a little as he heard the technician’s soft laughter. “Good enough for now,” he said, and he waited for the technician to leave the room quietly before he lifted his hand and brought the guitarist’s face back to his, giving him a longer kiss. The touch of his guitarist’s lips on his own proved to be exactly what he needed, and he let the kiss linger before he dropped his head back onto the thin pillow, smiling softly up at his love. The guitarist placed a hand over Kai’s, folding their hands together against his cheek, and the drummer felt his heart pang as Aoi gently kissed the back of his hand.
Aoi watched him as he blinked back tears, and he lifted an eyebrow, watching curiously as Kai allowed his hair to fall in his face as he looked away from the guitarist and gazed at his stomach instead. “Are you sure you’re excited, Kai-chan?” he asked quietly, and he blinked as the drummer sniffed but nodded and ran his hand over his bared torso anyway. “Do you want to go home?” The drummer shook his head. “Okay…so…what’s making you cry like this?”
Kai sighed, and he tried a smile. “Is it strange that I’m not completely sure?” He wiped at his eyes with his free hand, and then he let it rest back on his stomach. “I just…all I can think of is what to name her, and then the fact that I’m a man and that I shouldn’t be pregnant and that I shouldn’t be thrilled to have a little girl is all that comes back.” Aoi felt his heart hurt- he hoped that the drummer was still too good-natured to outright tell him that it was his fault, but it was also quite clear to the both of them who had impregnated who.
It became even more clear what kind of a situation they were in as Kai rubbed his stomach and Aoi held on to his hand, waiting for the moment where Kai would give up and just break completely, as the tears that kept falling from his eyes seemed to be warning him that it would happen. Kai’d been on the verge of tears for days now; it was only natural for Aoi to expect them to come after finding out their baby’s gender.
“I’m being silly,” he said quietly, and he tugged his shirt down and sat up. “The band will be calling soon…we should go home.”
Aoi nodded slowly, getting up to help Kai from the cot and then picking up the sonogram before letting the drummer take his hand, and he walked out of the room with him. And he wouldn’t say anything to the drummer, but for a moment in time, he didn’t feel ready.
He knew that he would have to be, though, and so he let the silence drag on as he drove them home, and he could only give the drummer’s hand the occasional supportive squeeze when he heard him sniffle and felt his hand tremble within his. He knew it wasn't something the drummer could have prepared himself for, and the fact that Kai hadn’t yelled at him or blatantly blamed him for getting him pregnant was something that astounded him. He’d assumed that it was tradition to yell and scream at the father of the baby, but the fact that he hadn’t been sent out to live with one of the other band members had proved him wrong.
The drummer was still quiet as he pulled the car into the driveway, and he gave the guitarist a soft kiss once they were inside the house.
“I’ll be in the bath,” he said, and Aoi nodded, watching him as he went up the stairs, peeling off his shirt in the process. Normally, the action would have made him want to follow his boyfriend up into the bathroom and join him in the bath, but this time, it made his heart hurt as Kai used his arm as a way to hide his softened chest as he trudged up the stairs. He almost looked defeated before he closed the door.
It killed him to see; the defeated drag in the drummer's step was his fault.
He took their jackets to the closet, and then he padded up to the bedroom to pick up the movies that Kai had taken a liking to lately, and then he took them downstairs, where he settled on the couch with the movies waiting on the coffee table. He turned the television on, and he waited Kai out. He made himself stay downstairs, and it was hard to, but he’d learned his lesson already. The last time he’d followed Kai to the bathroom, he’d been met by a very hormonal and teary-eyed Kai and he’d been scared within an inch of his life by a sobbing drummer that hadn’t slept through the night in a week.
He knew it was better to wait for his boyfriend to calm down rather than to force it. So he waited, and when he thought that Kai might have taken to bed for a nap, he picked up the movies he’d brought down and took them back up to the bedroom. The bathroom door was cracked open, though, and he smiled a little as he heard his drummer laughing softly.
“I’m already seventeen weeks, though,” Aoi heard him say, and he could imagine the smile on Kai’s face. “That’s four months…can you believe it? And Aoi-chan says I’m not showing a lot, but I can just feel it, y’know?” Kai sighed, and Aoi leaned against the wall next to the bathroom door, crossing his arms over his chest. “You should have seen his eyes when we were given the sonogram, Ru-chan…I could just...I could see him just falling in love.” Aoi bit his lip, and he closed his eyes as a few moments of silence ensued. “I’ll bet she’ll look so much like him.”
Kai’s voice had gotten quieter, and Aoi could imagine the drummer dipping his head and running his hand over his stomach, biting his lip and all. “I nearly broke today, thinking about it. He’s just…no child with his genes will be anything but beautiful.”
And Aoi could almost imagine Ruki’s response. The vocalist had most likely responded with a teasing comment about Kai being a hopeless romantic, and he’d probably noted that it was unnatural for Kai to be so content, because Aoi could hear the drummer’s soft laughter, and the light sound of it was heartwarming. He shut his eyes, and he let a smile spread across his lips.
“I think he’ll be a great father.” Again he let out a soft sigh- Ruki was probably teasing him again. “We’re in it together, after all, and you wouldn’t believe the way his eyes shine when he looks at me. It’s like he doesn’t care how pregnant I am.” Aoi allowed himself a peek into the bathroom, and through the crack of the door he saw Kai biting his lip and shifting in the tub. “I love him, Ru-chan, what else is there? I love him, and he’s so accepting, and we’re going to be a family.”
Aoi raised an eyebrow as silence followed, and he nudged at the bedroom door with his foot, making it open to the point where the doorknob knocked against the wall. He shifted away from the wall, going into the bedroom just enough, and he stopped just past the doorway, letting his head drop. His drummer’s optimism was really beginning to break his heart. He bit his lip, and he felt a tear drip down his cheek. “Gomenasai,” he murmured, and then he continued on to the bed, shedding his shirt and stretching out on the comforter, letting out a long sigh as he reached for the remote to the television and flipped through channels, waiting for Kai to join him in bed.
When he finally heard the soft pad of the drummer’s feet, he smiled and notched the volume down, and he chuckled softly as Kai tugged at his pajama pants, adjusting them on his stomach. He looked unsure of himself, and Aoi set the remote aside, holding his arms out for his drummer. Kai laid down on the bed beside him, and then he let the guitarist pull him flush to his side, being mindful as always of his tender stomach.
“You’re beautiful,” he said, and the drummer tipped his head back to look at him, and Aoi ducked his head to press a gentle kiss to Kai’s lips. “And I love every inch of you.”
Kai smiled; were there tears in his eyes? He let himself be kissed again, and he touched his guitarist’s cheek. “Ru-chan is excited for us,” he said. “And if it’s possible for him, then…I guess it’s possible for me, too.” He smiled as his love lifted an eyebrow and tried a crooked smile, and he shook his head, leaning in for a third lip lock and letting out a sigh as his entire body hummed in the echo of how good it felt to kiss Aoi. “No strings attached, I love you, and I’m in this one hundred percent as long as you are, too.”
“Anything for our little girl,” the guitarist whispered, and this earned him his favorite dimpled grin. He kissed the drummer’s forehead and smiled as they relaxed into each other; so far, he was still safe.