Love Makes Blind

[Elia's Point of View]
[Listen to this song]

I opened my eyes and felt cold. I realized I was outside, at the beach. But I was alone. No one was around; no sound but the waves. I walked closer to the water and bent down to pick up a stone I could throw, but when my hand met the ground it felt like I was touching a screen, like a window. I straightened up and looked around. I wanted to scream for help, but who would I scream for?

I couldn’t understand what was happening, but I didn’t feel scared, I didn’t feel anything. I was numb. No sound but the waves. I started running, but it was as if I was running on a treadmill because the scenario around be didn’t change. I couldn’t even feel the sand beneath my feet. I kept running though, hoping it would take me away from this place; I felt no exhaustion.

“Elia.” A voice called from far away; it was my mother’s voice.
I looked around again but saw no one. “Mom?”
“Elia, it’s going to be okay my love.” She said.
“Mom, where are you?” I asked and stared to panic, why couldn’t I see her?
“I’m right here Elia.” I felt a hand on my shoulder and turned to see the smiling face of my mother.
“Mom!” I said and threw my arms around her neck, relieved when I felt her skin against mine.
“It is going to be okay Elia.” She repeated.

“What is going on mom?” I asked but didn’t let go of her.
“You have to focus.” She said and held onto my shoulders.
I stared into her light gray eyes. “What do you mean?”
“Focus Elia!” she said and everything around us blurred; it looked the way a movie screen did when you fast forward a film.

Then it stopped and I stood alone in an unfamiliar bedroom. I looked around and realized it wasn’t completely unfamiliar; my bed and other furniture where placed around. It was her old room, the one she had before they moved to La Push. She was about to take a step when there was a knock on the door. It was opened when no one answered and my mother stepped in.
“Elia?” She asked.
“Mom…” I said and walked closer to her, but she only looked right through me.
“Elia?” she asked again and walked over another door in the room; the door to the bathroom and opened it.

My heart started beating faster when I saw what lay on the bathroom floor.
“ELIA!” my mother screamed and rolled my unmoving form around in the pool of blood I lay in. My eyes were closed. “Oh no, Elia!” She found towels and tied them tight around my bleeding wrists. She then rushed out to call an ambulance.

“Oh my god.” I whispered and knelt beside myself. “What did I do?” My face was pale from the blood loss and the white shirt I was wearing was covered in fresh blood. “Why did I do it?”
“You were running from you problems.” My mother said in the other room. I stood up again and walked over to her.
“But I didn’t know.” I said in a weak voice as I saw my mother rush back into the bathroom trying to save me.
“I know.” My mother, the one that could see me said.
“But why then?” I asked and saw as paramedics came into the room with a stretcher and placed me on it before they went back out.
“You thought it was the only way.” She answered me.

“Where was Darin?” I asked but footsteps on the stairs stopped my mother from answering.
“Elia, I’m home.” Darin walked through the doors of my bedroom and looked around. His eyes went wide when he saw the blood pool on the bathroom floor.
“I completely forgot to call him that day, he was coming home from college, remember? But he never went back because he had to take care of you.” My mother shook her head like it was nothing.
Guilt stung my soul.

The room blurred again. But I recognized the place this time. It was in a corridor at the hospital in Torpea.
“Paul, I need some time to think. Alone. Please.” I stared at Paul with an emotionless face.
“You broke his heart a little there.” My mother said from beside me. “You needed him right there, but again you ran from your problems. He is the one that would have known what to say exactly. He is the one that would know how to act and support you. He is the most important one in your life, don’t forget that Elia.”
“I know.” I swallowed.

We saw Paul walk back down the corridor and into a hospital room. We followed. I drew in a sharp breath when I walked inside the room. My mother was lying in the bed crying in despair. Darin held her hand and cried as well.
“I can’t do this mom, take me away from here.” I said and turned around holding back my tears.
“No, Elia. You have to do this. You have to stop running.” She said and wrapped her arm around my shoulder making me face the picture I didn’t want to see.

“But I can’t do this. I’m too weak!” I cried out.
“You’re not!” My mother grabbed my face and held it firmly between her hands so I would look at her face. “You can do this Elia. Just relax. Everything is going to be okay once you face this. You can’t run away.”
“I want to wake up! I can’t do this!” I fought against her hold and tried to block out the other cries.
“You can’t wake up yet.” My mother said. “You have to face this now.”

I wiped my cheeks but couldn’t feel any wetness from my tears. I looked over at my mother in the bed and walked closer.
“I’m sorry.” I whispered. “I shouldn’t have ran away. I’m sorry.”
“Saying sorry won’t help.” She said from behind me.
“Then what will?” I almost screamed at her.
“You can’t change what happened, you can only accept it.”
“I’m sorry.” I repeated as the room blurred again.

We were still her when it stopped but I could only see myself and mother here now.
“It’s going to be just fine, right mom?” I mouthed the words as the other me asked them to my sick mother.
“You were hoping so badly that it was just a bad dream.” My mother said from beside me. “You were in denial.”
“But I came back.” I said, reminding her.
“Not completely, you were telling yourself in your head the whole time that it wasn’t real; that is not accepting it.”

“No, not the end Elia; it will just be a new beginning. For both you and me, I’ll get to meet Roberto again and you will be great.” I could feel the urge to cry again as I watched me and my mother.
“Have you met dad?” I turned my head and asked my mother.
She only smiled at me. “I said it was a new beginning. You can’t keep all the old traditions; you just have to remember them as you create new ones. Even if you can’t see me, I’ll still be there holding your hand.”

“I will always love you too mom. Always.” I rested my head on my mother’s chest and cried.
“Did you hear that when I said it?” I asked.
“I did, it made it easier.” My mother grabbed my hand when the blur came back.

“I hate you!” It stopped and we could see me walking away from Matteo.
“You didn’t mean it, you can’t hate him; he’s your best friend.” She told me.
“He lied to me.” I said and crossed my arms over my chest.
“Only because he loves you; Matteo couldn’t know Paul imprinted on you.”
We heard my earsplitting scream as I fell to the ground after the big white wolf clawed me.
My mother flinched before she spoke again. “He didn’t mean to phase, nor to hurt you.”
“But he still did.” I said sadly.
“And you still can’t hate him.”

“Her lung collapsed.” Darin said as he was leaning over me.
“Will she make it?” Cara asked.
“I don’t know.” He replied to her.

Realization shook through me. “So this is it, I’m dead?”
My mother surprised me with a laugh. “No you’re not honey; not yet.”
“What do you mean?” I asked and stared at myself.
“You get to choose. You can either come with me, or wake up and go back to the living.” She said seriously.
I cried. “But you can’t make me choose between you and my life.”
“I’m sorry.” She pulled me into a hug.
“Will I ever get to meet you again if I live?” I asked.
“Of course you will.” My mother smiled at me.
“I’ll miss you mom.” I hugged her again.

“You have to wake up.” I heard her whisper but I couldn’t see her anymore. “Wake up, Elinora.”