Love Makes Blind

[Paul's Point of View]
[Listen to this song]

My mother sighed and sat down with the kitchen table. “Paul, really?”
“I had to do something!” I defended.
She wasn’t pleased with my choice. “But the army? I thought you didn’t want to spend any time away from Elia anymore.”
“Why can’t anyone get that I’m doing it for her?” I yelled.
Mom didn’t even flinch. She was used to my outburst, having to live with me for twenty years. “Calm down, you getting angry doesn’t help anything.”

I sighed in frustration and ran my hands through my hair. “I have to go. But I don’t know if Elia will wait for me. And then I can’t go if she won’t be here.”
Mom walked over and wrapped her arms around me. I wrapped mine around her and rested my head on her shoulder.
“It will be okay. Elia will be here, she loves you. And I have faith in you Paul.”
“Thank you.” I said and she kissed my cheek lovingly.

“You have come back.” She said in a pleading voice.
“I wouldn’t leave if I wasn’t planning on coming home.” I told her.
“Because you the only one I have left, Paulie.”
I had to smile. “We have family, grams and Granddad, Uncle Jim’s family.”
She shook her head. “I know that. But you are my most precious.”
“I know.” I smiled and hugged her again.
“You should go pack. I’ll drive you to the airport tomorrow.”

I went to my old bedroom, I hadn’t slept here for ages, but I had most of my clothes here because I never got around moving them to Elia’s. I found my bag and threw various type of clothing in it. I sat down on the bed and put my head in my hands and sighed. This would be the last time I did something this stupid. I spotted a framed drawing on top of my dresser. I smiled and walked over to pick it up; it was the drawing Elia had given me on my twentieth birthday, four years ago.

I put it down again and opened the top drawer to get my passport but stopped when I saw what lay next to it, Mirella’s engagement ring. I had told her that I wouldn’t propose until Elia was done grieving. I guess I was still looking for the right moment. But how could I ask her to marry her when I was leaving for six months? I would have to wait until I came home.

The passport was thrown in my bag and I sipped it shut before picking it up and taking the velvet box I had bought for the ring and walked out in the front room where I placed the bag and went into the living room where my mother sat reading a book.

“Mom, can I ask you a favor?” I sat down beside her.
She closed her book and looked over at me. “Of course.”
“Can you keep this ring for me while I’m away?” I handed her the box.
My mother flipped it open in curiosity. “It’s beautiful!” she exclaimed. “Where did you get it from?”
“It’s Mirella’s wedding ring. She gave it to me when I asked for Elia’s hand.” I hadn’t told her about that.
She stared up at me with proud tears in her eyes. “Oh Paul. Why haven’t you asked her yet?”

I shrugged a little. “The moment was never here.”
“Okay. I’ll take care of it until you come home.” She smiled.
“I better leave now, thought I should stop by Sam and let him know before I get back to Elia.” I stood up.
“I’ll come and drive you tomorrow; I believe Elia will come too?”
“I don’t know, I’ll talk to her.” I said, feeling sad.
My mother nodded before standing up as well to hug me. I hugged her back before leaving.

Just my luck, I thought when I neared Sam and Emily’s place. I could hear the whole pack was gathered.
I didn’t stay there for long, just long enough for them to tell me how stupid I was. None of them who had imprinted understood how I could manage to stay away from Elia anymore.
But then Quil spoke, making me want to phase and attack him.

“Paul never wanted to imprint.” He said.
I walked over to him and lifted him from his seat by the collar of his sweater.
“If you believe I don’t love her, you are badly mistaken.” I said menacingly to him.
Sam put a hand on my shoulder and made me drop him. “No one thinks that.”
I glared at Quil. “I should leave before I do something stupid.”
“I know it won’t be easy, but try to phase now and then when you’re gone, so we know how you’re doing.” Sam said to me.
I nodded. “I’ll try to.”

Darin came and met me in the front room when I entered the house. He only stared at me.
I sighed. “Yeah, I know I’m stupid.”
“I was going to say thoughtless, but stupid can work.” He crossed his arms over his chest.
“What do you want me to do?” I asked him.
“You shouldn’t leave.” Darin said.
“But it’s too late now.” I answered.
“Leah and Elia are upstairs because Elia is upset. You are hurting her.” His over-protective brother side shone through.

“I’m sorry. You’ll look after her, right?”
“Of course, but I’m doing it for her, not for you.” He said and uncrossed his arms.
I nodded. “I know.”

I headed upstairs and heard the muffled voices of Leah and Elia. The door was closed and I knocked before opening it. They sat crossed legged across from each other on the bed.
“Hi monster.” I said softly and walked over to the bed.
Elia turned her head in my direction.
“I’ll leave you two alone.” Leah glanced at me with a warning look before she left.

Elia didn’t move when I sat down beside her and pulled her to my chest.
“I’m sorry for leaving.” I said as I rested my head on hers.
“I know you are.” She said quietly.
I took her left hand in mine and kissed her fingertips. I let them linger on her promise ring.
“When are you going to replace it?” she asked me.
“Soon.” I told her.
“How long is soon?”
“Six months.” I answered.
“Okay.” Elia said. “We should get some sleep; we’ll have to get up early tomorrow.”
I agreed and we got changed before we got under the covers and Elia snuggled close to me.

A silent fell over us as I held her in my arms.
“Are you still mad at me?” I asked her.
“No, just scared.” She said in a glum voice.
“What are you scared of?” I asked and held her tighter to me.
Elia was silent for a second before she answered.

“I’m scared of missing you.” She whispered.