I've Realized Now I'll Never Become Anything
Tomorrow, we'll be fine.
Words couldn't even begin to describe any amount of pain. Everything solely seemed to be nothing but an understatement; if only certain aspects in life were so easy, everything would definitely be okay.
Lack of sleep could be credited to the worry that filled the air. Even if it had only been a full day so far, I specifically knew nothing would ever be normal again. Though knowing not a single thing will be the same, it wasn't going to stop me from helping and trying. He needs, now more than ever, the support from his friends and family to build enough strength to be able to go back home and try to live life.
From everything he's been through, it's not fair to him to have to struggle to live. As much as people may protest and say otherwise, he deserves to be happy. One could blame him and call him very hurtful and disgusting names for pulling a stunt like this, but I know as well as he and many others do, that it wasn't his fault.
Craigery has been through so much within the passed few years that everything seemed to be too much for him. And as much as I wish this had never happened, it did and we have to live through it to become stronger, to feel more alive than we've ever felt in our entire lives. Craig seriously deserves so much more, and I hate to tell myself that what he does deserve is something greater than I could ever give him.
And sitting next to him in the hospital, holding his hand while he slept reminded me of how much I love him.
His steady breathing calmed my aching nerves and restless mind; Craigery looked so peaceful and seemed to be perfectly fine...at least on the outside. He stirred when I adjusted my hand in his; Craig gave my hand a little squeeze before turning his head towards me and opening his eyes. That perfect blue color seemed to have returned, and I couldn't help but allow a smile to cross my features.
"Hey, sweetie," I sat up straight, scooting my chair closer to his bed. "How're you feeling?"
"I feel confused, angry, selfish, and completely embarrassed," he whispered dropping his azure gaze down to his lap; his expression showing he was clearly upset.
A sigh slipped passed my lips from his answer and I placed my other hand atop his. "Would you like to talk about it?" I asked him softly.
Craig's shoulders lifted in a small shrug. "I wouldn't know where to begin, Penelope." His eyes lifted back up to look into mine and he ran his free hand through his curtain of dark blonde hair.
"Do you remember, Craig," I stood from the chair and sat at the edge of the hospital bed, "that day out by the pond with the ducks when I told you everything would be okay?" Craigery looked at me with eyes filled of wonder as he slowly nodded his head. "Do you still believe me?"
"More so than ever, Penny." He released his grip from my hand and pulled me closer to his body by my shoulders, allowing me to lay next to him with my head on his chest. "Honestly," Craig placed a soft kiss against my forehead and rested his cheek in the same spot, "if I could get through this situation without any permanent damage, I believe I can get through anything. I just need to the strength to be something more than I am, and nothing like I was."
His body became relaxed as he slouched down in the bed more, holding me tightly in his arms. My arm draped over his skinny torso, and I let my eyes shut and my mind begin to wander. Craigery's soft voice commenced to sing and I opened my eyes to gaze up at him; his eyes had also closed.
"We lost you long ago along the way. I never thought I'd be here without you. And every time I think about the way, I think that maybe I'm better off, maybe I'm better off... still. Wait until tomorrow and I'll be fine; wait until tomorrow, you'll see that I'm worth waiting for.
"I'm right here just come on and say it. I try to reason with myself. Just think of all that life could be if we could only capture what we've seen," he stopped singing and inhaled a deep breath, kissing the top of my head after exhaling.
I pressed my lips lightly against his tattooed throat. "Craigery?" I whispered gently.
"Yeah, Penelope?" his whisper mimicked mine.
"I love you," I told him and felt his embraced tighten around me.
"I love you, too, sweetheart." He kissed my forehead again. "Tomorrow, we'll be fine."
Lack of sleep could be credited to the worry that filled the air. Even if it had only been a full day so far, I specifically knew nothing would ever be normal again. Though knowing not a single thing will be the same, it wasn't going to stop me from helping and trying. He needs, now more than ever, the support from his friends and family to build enough strength to be able to go back home and try to live life.
From everything he's been through, it's not fair to him to have to struggle to live. As much as people may protest and say otherwise, he deserves to be happy. One could blame him and call him very hurtful and disgusting names for pulling a stunt like this, but I know as well as he and many others do, that it wasn't his fault.
Craigery has been through so much within the passed few years that everything seemed to be too much for him. And as much as I wish this had never happened, it did and we have to live through it to become stronger, to feel more alive than we've ever felt in our entire lives. Craig seriously deserves so much more, and I hate to tell myself that what he does deserve is something greater than I could ever give him.
And sitting next to him in the hospital, holding his hand while he slept reminded me of how much I love him.
His steady breathing calmed my aching nerves and restless mind; Craigery looked so peaceful and seemed to be perfectly fine...at least on the outside. He stirred when I adjusted my hand in his; Craig gave my hand a little squeeze before turning his head towards me and opening his eyes. That perfect blue color seemed to have returned, and I couldn't help but allow a smile to cross my features.
"Hey, sweetie," I sat up straight, scooting my chair closer to his bed. "How're you feeling?"
"I feel confused, angry, selfish, and completely embarrassed," he whispered dropping his azure gaze down to his lap; his expression showing he was clearly upset.
A sigh slipped passed my lips from his answer and I placed my other hand atop his. "Would you like to talk about it?" I asked him softly.
Craig's shoulders lifted in a small shrug. "I wouldn't know where to begin, Penelope." His eyes lifted back up to look into mine and he ran his free hand through his curtain of dark blonde hair.
"Do you remember, Craig," I stood from the chair and sat at the edge of the hospital bed, "that day out by the pond with the ducks when I told you everything would be okay?" Craigery looked at me with eyes filled of wonder as he slowly nodded his head. "Do you still believe me?"
"More so than ever, Penny." He released his grip from my hand and pulled me closer to his body by my shoulders, allowing me to lay next to him with my head on his chest. "Honestly," Craig placed a soft kiss against my forehead and rested his cheek in the same spot, "if I could get through this situation without any permanent damage, I believe I can get through anything. I just need to the strength to be something more than I am, and nothing like I was."
His body became relaxed as he slouched down in the bed more, holding me tightly in his arms. My arm draped over his skinny torso, and I let my eyes shut and my mind begin to wander. Craigery's soft voice commenced to sing and I opened my eyes to gaze up at him; his eyes had also closed.
"We lost you long ago along the way. I never thought I'd be here without you. And every time I think about the way, I think that maybe I'm better off, maybe I'm better off... still. Wait until tomorrow and I'll be fine; wait until tomorrow, you'll see that I'm worth waiting for.
"I'm right here just come on and say it. I try to reason with myself. Just think of all that life could be if we could only capture what we've seen," he stopped singing and inhaled a deep breath, kissing the top of my head after exhaling.
I pressed my lips lightly against his tattooed throat. "Craigery?" I whispered gently.
"Yeah, Penelope?" his whisper mimicked mine.
"I love you," I told him and felt his embraced tighten around me.
"I love you, too, sweetheart." He kissed my forehead again. "Tomorrow, we'll be fine."
♠ ♠ ♠
There should be either one or two quotes that are credited to Craig Owens! They may or may not look familiar to you.Comment and subscribe...? ...please? I'd appreciate that very much. If you do, I'll mosey on to your profile and thank you!
And if you could, will you check out my Jack Barakat, Zack Merrick, and Alex Gaskarth stories? And if you like them, could you comment and subscribe as well? Thanks.
Hope you liked the update.