When Happily Ever After Fails

Ricky sighed for the twentieth time as he stared at his pale reflection in the mirror. He hadn't worn this much make up since before he had left California; and he had absolutely no clue how he had survived with so many powders and pastes caked onto his face. It felt like he could barely breathe with all of that goop clogging his pores. The very idea of this night seemed so wrong; there wasn't a single aspect to it that he found appealing.

There were a half dozen other people crammed against him and countless others running around yelling about something or other. Lights, whether something was being recorded, if someones girlfriend was there yet. The list seemed endless and Ricky thought he was going to be sick. As he whirled around, someone grabbed his arm and it took all his willpower to not shriek.

The person dragged him through the crowd and nameless faces passed by in a blur. He couldn't see the person who had a hold of him, nor could he pull away. All he saw was his arm disappearing into the crowd ahead of him. Finally, the steel grip let up as he was pulled through an exit into the alley behind the club.

Sirens whirred as gun shots were fired in the distant night. Ricky leaned against the brick Wall beside the door he had just been yanked through and attempted to clear his mind. This night had been pure chaos so far, and he had a feeling that it wasn't going to change until morning hit. Everywhere he went, he was bombarded with noise and unfamiliar people pressing their sweaty bodies against him.

Before he even knew what was happening, Ricky was emptying his stomach beside him. After he finished being sick, he leaned against the wall for fear he would collapse without it's support. For the first time since breathing in the winter night air, Ricky thought to see who had dragged him out into the alley. At first he was relieved to see the face, but then worry edged the lining of his stomach.

It was Alex; a drunk Alex.

With three quick strides, Ricky was pinned against the cold stone wall. His breaths came sporadically as his intoxicated friend gingerly placed his hands on his waist. If Ricky hadn't known better, he would have started to cry then and there, but the fluttering nerves in his stomach forced him to hold his tongue. They stayed like that for a minute or two before Ricky summoned the courage to raise his gaze from their shoes and look him in the eye.

Hazy eyes met his clear ones and Ricky was forced to swallow the lump growing in his throat. Alex looked extremely indecisive, and for a moment Ricky thought that the boy was going to release him. All hopeful thoughts were erased as sloppy lips crashed against his own. He tried to pull away, but was met only with the brick wall. Alex's liquor coated tongue forced it's way into his mouth, and Ricky finally let a few tears fall.

The other boy pulled away after a minute, but didn't remove his hands from Ricky's side. Even though Alex had stopped, Ricky couldn't force his tears to do the same. When his quiet sobs were finally noticed, Alex took one of his hands and lifted Ricky's chin to get a good look at him.

His glistening eyes said everything that Ricky couldn't force into words. Ricky was an absolute mess. In a moment, Alex had pulled away and was staring at his shaking frame. He reached out a hand, but quickly retracted it when Ricky cringed and tried to force himself farther against the wall.

"I'm sorry," he said quietly before he left Ricky standing there in the alley by himself. If he knew Ricky at all, that was the best thing he could do. After that, Ricky wouldn't want anything to do with him, never mind be comforted by him. It would be better if he just faded into the background.

He slid back into the club and worked his way through the backstage crowd back into the bar area. Alex was convinced to consume the same quantity of alcohol as Ricky had let tears slide from between his eyelids. Quickly, he took a seat at the bar and ordered four tequila shots.

As he watched his ex friends climb onto the stage for their song, he downed two of the shots he had ordered. The soft music wafted through the room like a subtle scent and quiet fell on the crowd. It wasn't the song that they had decided on; this song was a lot more intimate than Elisabeth. Alex held his reaction in until the second verse hit his ears, and then he cried into his drinks.

"What if I wanted to fight
Beg for the rest of my life
What would you do?
You say you wanted more
What are you waiting for?
I'm not running from you...

Come break me down
Bury me, bury me
I am finished with you
Look in my eyes
You're killing me, killing me
All I wanted was you..."

The next few verses passed with the entire club in near silence. There was an occasional hushed whisper, but even that was rare for the remaining two minutes of the song. When the lyrics were all sung, Ricky was off the stage and out the door before the music had even stopped. Guilt crept into Alex's stomach when he noticed that Tucker was staring at him; not even bothering to blink.

The entire audience was awestruck for about a minute before they broke out into applause. It was well deserved; apparently grief was Ricky's muse. Alex was curious to know how much Ricky had been forced to share with his band mates in order to convince them to change songs on such short notice. When Danny shoulder checked him on his way out of the club, he knew what his answer was.

With a reluctant sigh, Alex left the club behind them. He took a careful glance in the direction that he knew Ricky and them would have headed and couldn't help but notice him leaning against Danny. The notion that he might be crying again struck him, and as he watched how his body was convulsing, he knew that his assumption had been correct. Regret pooled in his stomach, but he did what he thought was best for everyone.

He turned on his heel and walked the other way without once stopping to look back.