Seventeen and Invincible

“Just leave me here. I don’t wanna go. I’ll just watch TV with your parents or something. I’ll clean your room,” I mumbled looking around in disgust, not knowing how I even managed to fall asleep in here.

“I’m not leaving you here Ani. Come on, everyone wants to see you. They miss you, hard as that may be to believe.”

“I’m not going,” I responded. I stood from his bed and walked over to sit down at his desk.

“You have to Ani. Your friends miss you. They all want to see your pretty face there tonight.”

“Aww, Nickelsen, you think I’m pretty?” He sighed and hit his forehead.

“You already know that you’re beautiful. And stop trying to change the subject. You have to go.”

“I’m not going,” I huffed.

“But, you have to.”

“No I don’t Nickelsen.”

“Yes you do Albert.” I scrunched my face up at his use of my last name. “It doesn’t work with Albert, does it?” he asked with a laugh. I shook my head ‘no’ and moved all of the papers on his desk into a neat pile. “Please, Ani, just come to the party. We don’t have to stay long. If you want to leave after ten minutes, we can.” I rolled my eyes and sighed loudly.

“Fine.” He smiled triumphantly and cheered. “I can still change my mind,” I warned as he continued with his antics.

“Alright, I’ll stop, but we gotta go,” he began. “John just texted me and they’re all there already there.” I stood up and grabbed my bag off of the floor. I shivered—God only knew what else was on his messy floor.

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“I’m going to go look for the rest of the guys, do you want to go get us drinks or something?” he asked loudly over the music. I bit my lip and nodded reluctantly. Parties weren’t exactly my scene and I didn’t exactly enjoy alcohol. I was a bit of a lightweight since I didn’t drink often and on the few occasions that I had gotten drunk, I was apparently a bit promiscuous. Fortunately I had Garrett to keep me from doing anything too stupid.

“Yeah. I’ll look for you guys after. Put your phone on vibrate. If I can’t find you, I’ll text you.” He nodded and we separated. I took step after painful step through the masses of teenagers. There were some people who I knew, and I knew they were looking at me curiously. I had just missed a week of school and unfortunately everyone knew it was because I was too upset to drag my sorry ass out of bed. They looked like they felt bad, but they didn’t know the half of what I felt.

“Ana, oh my fucking god,” Mia screeched, “you’re alive!” I smiled weakly and she threw her arms around my neck, clearly already a few sheets to the wind. I watched nervously as the liquid sloshed over the side of her red SOLO cup—the classic, stereotypical party cup.

“Yeah, I’m alive,” I smiled. She let go and stumbled away to find John. I shook my head and forced my way through the giant cloud of booze hanging around the room. Finally reaching the kitchen I grabbed a beer for Garrett and a soda for myself. One of us had to be able to drive home, and I knew it probably wouldn’t be him.

I said excuse me about a million times trying to maneuver my way back through the crowd. “I hate parties,” I muttered under my breath. “Hey,” I yelled, finally finding Kennedy, “have you seen Gar?” He shook his head ‘no’ and so I continued searching for him.

It wound up taking me almost an hour to find him. An hour in which I can only assume he consumed more than a few alcoholic beverages. He was in the corner making out with some bleached blonde cheerleader, thus confirming my suspicion that he’d been drinking. I stared in disbelief for a minute, gawking at them. I felt my heartbeat speed up and I could feel my heart slamming into my rib cage about ten times every second. My stomach felt like it was on fire and my throat was as dry as the Grand Canyon in the summer. My vision started to blur and that’s when I snapped out of it. He was my best friend and he promised me we could leave. I didn’t want to be here at all and I definitely didn’t want to watch him macking some girl in the corner. “Anika?” I turned quickly upon hearing my name.

“Oh, hey Pat.” I faked a smile and pushed past him and toward the sliding glass doors into the backyard. I knew he was about to ask if I was okay, and that wasn’t a question I knew how to answer right now. I looked up at the dark sky and I felt alone. Even the stars were all together. None of them ever had to feel lonely. I lifted the beer bottle that I was still holding to my lips and downed it. I was more of a liquor girl if anything. I hated beer, but this was just the start.

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The song Ugly by the Exies blared through the speakers as I took a sip from my red cup. It held Vodka—pure, straight up vodka. “Jesus Christ, I’ve been looking for you everywhere,” Garrett yelled walking into the yard of Michelle, the host’s, house. “Where the fuck have you been? You didn’t answer your phone.”

“Oh,” I said nonchalantly, “I guess I didn’t hear it.” I finished what was in my cup and turned to face him.

“Are you drunk?” I nodded in reply. I knew I was wasted—so wasted that I’d be lucky if I remembered tomorrow. I never drank like this. I hated when people were drunk. “Jesus, come on, let’s go home.” I sighed loudly standing up. We wandered our way through the small crowd that remained and ended up out front of the house. He stopped suddenly and turned to face me. “What the hell has gotten into you Ani? What the fuck is wrong with you? You don’t do this. This isn’t you.”

“We’ll maybe it’s the new me,” I sighed.

“No, this is you drowning your sorrows with alcohol.” I sighed and walked in front of him. “Just, why?”

“Why?” I yelled. He looked startled. “I didn’t want to come here at all and then when I try to find you, you’re in the corner with your tongue down Nicolette’s throat.” He sighed and ran his hands down his face indicating he was stressed. “Why was I the only one who has to suffer? So, I said fuck it and had a few drinks.”

“A few?” he asked in disbelief. “It looks like you downed almost an entire bottle of vodka, Ani.” And then somewhere along the line something within me snapped and the promiscuous drunk kicked in. I stepped forward and kissed him roughly. He just stood there, hands at his sides, not responding in anyway.

“Why won’t you kiss me back?” I slurred.

“You’re drunk and you’re my best friend.” I sighed and turned away.

“I get it. I’m not easy enough, right?” I screamed. “I’m not easy so therefore I’ll be alone forever, right?”

“Let’s just go home Anika. You’re completely shit faced. You don’t even know what you’re saying.” I rolled my eyes. “Get in the car Ani.”

“Haven’t you been drinking?” I asked in an accusatory tone.

“A hell of a lot less than you have.” I pulled open the yellow door and fell into the passenger seat. “I really can’t believe you right now.” I rolled my eyes and rolled down the window. “Seatbelt,” he warned. I tried and fiddled with it for a good minute or so before he just reached over to buckle it for me. I guess I really was that wasted.