You Could Be Happy

There was something about Arizona that took her over in a wave of furry and heat. The summer was made for killing there. With one breath, everything inside of her dried up, and Olly was sure that this was how it felt to die.

But she didn’t. Olly wasn’t sure how she felt about it. The idea of death was a complicated one – one that she had thought over time and time again and one she had never been able to make any real decisions on.

She left the airport and wandered around until she found a place for her to rent a car. She knew it would be stupid to rent one – I mean, who rents a car when they’re moving there? – but she didn’t know what else to do, where to go. She was alone. Always.

She paid for the rental and drove the car off. It was small and gorgeous. Olly felt displaced in the sleek design. She sighed and drove off. She didn’t even know where she was going. Phoenix was filled with people, and the traffic was the worst Olly had ever seen. But she withstood it, breath after breath of the dry, dead heat.

When she saw her first In-n-Out, she took the exit and drove as fast as she could towards the sign. She had only eaten there twice before, but it was the best and she couldn’t wait to have it again. She could almost taste the animal fries – almost.

The boy in front of her only ordered a grilled cheese. Olly wanted to laugh, but her throat was too dry. So when she finally could order, she ordered an order of animal fries, a double-double, and a Neapolitan shake. She wasn’t even that hungry, but it all sounded too good.

Finished, she turned to the boy who was in front of her and asked, “Why?”

He laughed and said, “Because.” Olly wasn’t sure if he even understood her question or if that was really just the simple answer to it.

“Not even animal fries?” she ventured. Her eyes were looking over at a girl chopping the potatoes. Olly was sure she was going to die if she didn’t have a fry in the mouth within two minutes.

“Not even animal fries.”

Olly smiled slightly. “Well, to each his own.” It was only thirty seconds later that the boy next to her had his food and another thirty after that until she had hers. Yet he was still standing next to her when she got hers.

“What?” she asked, her eyes blinking rapidly as she looked at him. He seemed to almost glow. Then again, it might have just been that he was standing under a light.

“You reminded me of someone I used to know.” A small smile took over his face. “She looked like you. And she ate animal fries everyday.” A small chuckle left his lips. “She was amazing.”

“Maybe I am her,” she teased, shoving a fry in her mouth. It was warm and tasted like heaven itself. She smiled as she chewed.

The boy took a bite of his grilled cheese. He hadn’t noticed until right then, but they had somehow made it to a table and were sitting down across from each other.

“If only. Her named was Annie. She was the best thing that ever happened to Arizona, I promise you.”

“Was?”

“She died four years ago. Took just about everything good from here in the process.” He took another bite of his grilled cheese and waited for the “I’m sorry” that people always said when he told them about Annie.

Instead, she asked the same thing as before: “Why?”

He was tempted to reply the same as before, but instead asked, “’Why?’ what?”

“Why did she take all the goodness? Are you not able have good things on your own?”

“It’s not that easy.”

“Nothing ever is. But sometimes you just have to force yourself to do things. Do you think Annie would want you broken, sad, without any good?”

He laughed. “She’d probably yell at us if she saw how we were now.”

“Four years is a long time. I think she’d like to move on.” Olly took a drink of her shake and said from the corner of her mouth, “You should be happy.”

He smiled and said, “Happy. I like the sound of that.”

They ate in silence for a while. Everything tasted so good to Olly that she didn’t even think about saying anything else. The second the burger touched her taste buds, she was unable to think of anything but.

When they both finished – at the same time, despite how much more food Olly had – the boy said, “My name’s Brian. It’s nice to meet you. And you are?”

“Olly.”

“Olly?”

“Olly.”