To Katmandu
Obsessively Compulsed
My heart fluttered in excitement as I poised my finger over the keys. Took me a second to realize I had not a clue what I was doing… I mean I didn’t know much about Gerard Way besides the usually. I was a fan but not obsessively compulsed with him. Although what I was about to do would defiantly push me in to that category now wouldn’t it…
I figured it was best to do a little research on the man before going any further. I did the usual unreliable Internet research you would expect. Wikipedia, the bands official website, something called gerardwayfan.com, and a few random interviews here and there. There was a lot on this imnotokay.net site too…
They talk about him first acting in a school play as Peter Pan. Cute, but a little too far back for my liking… He went to Belleville High School, which actually wasn’t far from where I had went to high school and for a brief second I considered it. But go back to high school? Fuck no. I’d rather deal with the people at Mastercard then my old science teacher Ms. Solonowski. And besides high school romances never work out…
They started the band after 9-11 so that would be an easy date to zoom in on, but I didn’t want to be there after, I wanted to be there before. I mean the last thing I wanted was to be considered some kinda crazed groupie! I'm an Internet stalker for crying out loud. I laughed to myself as I scrolled down the page…
Oooh here was something he graduated from art school in 1999. That’s perfect. That will give me 2 years to meet him and forge a strong relationship before 9-11…. I bookmarked all my research page sites and took a deep breath as I punched the date in, well here goes nothing…
‘April 15, 1999. 9:00a.m, School of Visual Arts, Manhattan, New York City’ I typed in and then had second thoughts. I mean it’s a big school, I how could I be sure I would find him?
‘with in 20 feet of Gerard Way’ I added on and shrugged as I hit the enter button…
I stared at the screen waiting for something to happen. Slowly the monitor went black, almost like it was shutting down and then flickered a little as it came back on.
’Transmission successful…’ The words blinked on the screen. My eyes blinked too.
Suddenly I was fully aware that the lighting was different. Gone were the fluorescent lights of Starbuck. The sun was shining down on me now. I was outside at some kind of picnic table and it was spring time! Holy shit. It worked! This must be his campus… Well outside his campus at least. So where was he? I mean I said with in twenty feet.
I scanned my eyes around and didn’t see him anywhere. There was a tall well-tanned blonde guy at the next table -definitely not him. There was a couple making out under the tree to the right of me, but again not him. And a girl sitting alone on a bench to the left of me, sketching something…
“Good going Kat.” I mumbled to myself. I couldn’t figure out how this didn’t work… Maybe I put the wrong date in? Or maybe this isn’t the school of visual arts? But everyone here’s got sketchbooks and shit so it probably is…
I decided to go ask the girl sitting alone what day it was. The guy was closer but girls tend to be nicer. Plus I didn’t need the guy thinking I was hitting on him. I had my sights set on one man, and one man alone…
“Excuse me is today April 15th?” I leant over and asked her. She shifted forward slightly and when she lifted her head and pushed her long black hair from her face. I got the shock of my life.
Those eyes… I would recognize them anywhere. It was Gerard Way… But he was dressed like a girl. Like a chick! I mean the shirt, the shoes, the every thing. He was sorta hot but this was just wrong! So very very wrong!!
She just nodded. I mean he just nodded and I stared at him in disbelief.
“You're dressed like a girl.” I blurt out and he sorta gave me this small tight-lipped smile. “I didn’t mean it like that!” I add quickly, trying to fix it, but I think I was making it worse. “I mean that’s cool man.” I tell him. Wait what year is it? Do people say cool? I think they do… ‘Fuck Kat.’ I cursed to myself as he continued to stare at me.
This was not working out the way I wanted it to. Why is he in a fucking skirt?! Why did I not know this? I frantically began pounding on my keyboard, looking for something to make sense of this, and I found it.
"I went to school in drag, in art school and my day was completely different because everybody thought I was a chick. You should see me as a chick. So I went as a girl, as like an experiment and it worked really well and everyone was really nice to me but I couldn't talk obviously...you know train conductors were really cool to me on my commute...HA! I looked hot as a chick!"
Well, he did look hot as a chick, that was for sure, but this wasn’t right. And now I blew my first meeting with him cause I wasn’t prepared… Shit…. Maybe I could go back and try again? But I don't know… I mean I'm not a time warp continuum specialist. What would happen if I run into myself? Would the universe explode? God… I needed to think about this. I needed time, which was stupid cause you think I had all the time in the world at my fingertips.
Unless that was it? That was my only shot and I blew it? I began to panic. Even more so when I realized I navigated away from that page to find out why Gerard was in a skirt. But it was still open in another window.
“Thank god.” I sighed as I collapsed on to my keys and then a shadow fell across the table.
“You okay?” A voice says and I looked up and it was Gerard. I quickly pulled the screen on my laptop down, not closed, but closed enough so he couldn’t see what was on it. I mean how could I explain that? His picture plastered up all over my screen. Pictures that didn’t even exist yet…
“Uh yeah.” I tell him running my eyes up his outfit once more.
“I didn’t mean to scare you.” He says sorta apologetically and I shifted my eyes from him. I mean it was intimidating being so close to him. He's Gerard Way. The Gerard Way. Sure right now he's just plain old ordinary Gerard Way but one day he will be more, and my heart was fluttering in excitement.
“I'm just having a bad day that’s all.” I tell him. “You know one of those days when you think you got it all figured out and then realize you don't know shit.” I laughed to myself. My perfect plan was crumbling before my eyes.
“Forgot to file your taxes?” He jokes and it took me a second to realize why. “April 15th? Tax day?” He adds and I laughed once more. Of course I pick freaking tax day to come back on…
“Aw fuck. I didn’t even think of that.” I tell him and he smiled, but this time it was more of an actual smile and it was beautiful. I just stared up him. The light was hitting him from behind. Almost like as if he was on stage. It was mesmerizing…
“So you falling behind?” He says and I had not a clue what he was saying. “You got something due today?” He says I guess trying to figure out why I was asking him the date and then panicking as I banged on my computer. I think he thought that I had like a project due or something for class. “If it’s a computer problem, I might be able to help.” He says as he reached for my laptop and I stopped him.
“No, no, no it’s not that.” I say quickly. “I don't even go to school here.” I add on stupidly. Ah, good going Kat. Now he's looking at me like I'm crazy, and truth be told I probably am. I mean I'm sitting on their campus, with my computer and bag, like any other student for what? For fun?
“Oh.” He says and he went to step back a little.
“I had a problem with my tuition.” I blurt out. Ohhh, good one…. I smiled to myself. “So I don't ‘go here’ not anymore...” I tell him and he nodded. “I'm umm Kat.” I held my hand out to him. I don't know why I did it, I suppose cause things were going so badly already and I was just gonna have to redo the day anyway, so it wouldn’t matter.
“Gerard.” He says placing his hand in mine. I held onto it a little longer then I should've I suppose cause he pulled it back and sorta smiled at me and I blushed. “You live around here cause your accent says Jersey.” He says and my mind went totally blank.
Do I live around here? Aw fuck… I don't know… I don't know what I'm doing! I have no money. I have no clothes. Shit. I really should've planned this better. Another look of terror must’ve passed over my face cause he was looking at me concerned once more.
“You okay?” He says and I nodded as I scooped all my junk up off the table.
“Mm-hmm, but I gotta run. Sorry. I'm so sorry.” I tell him as I took a few steps backwards from him.
“I’ll see you around... Kat.” He called out after me and I sorta waved as I ran off…
God this was not working out the way I thought. I had ruined today that was for sure. But could I do it again? Do I want to do it again? I was just so not expecting to see him in drag! That was what had thrown me all off… I needed to just sit and think a minute. I needed some coffee actually. But I didn’t have a car, or any clue how to get there. My only means of transportation was my laptop portal.
“Ah what the hell.” I sighed as I opened it up. I deleted out ‘School of visual arts’ and replaced it with just ‘Coffee shop’ since I didn’t have a specific one in mind… I adjusted the time to 1:00 pm, to miss the morning rush, and tweaked the day a week or so ahead April 27,1999. I hit the enter button and waited and nothing happened…
Nothing happened…
I figured it was best to do a little research on the man before going any further. I did the usual unreliable Internet research you would expect. Wikipedia, the bands official website, something called gerardwayfan.com, and a few random interviews here and there. There was a lot on this imnotokay.net site too…
They talk about him first acting in a school play as Peter Pan. Cute, but a little too far back for my liking… He went to Belleville High School, which actually wasn’t far from where I had went to high school and for a brief second I considered it. But go back to high school? Fuck no. I’d rather deal with the people at Mastercard then my old science teacher Ms. Solonowski. And besides high school romances never work out…
They started the band after 9-11 so that would be an easy date to zoom in on, but I didn’t want to be there after, I wanted to be there before. I mean the last thing I wanted was to be considered some kinda crazed groupie! I'm an Internet stalker for crying out loud. I laughed to myself as I scrolled down the page…
Oooh here was something he graduated from art school in 1999. That’s perfect. That will give me 2 years to meet him and forge a strong relationship before 9-11…. I bookmarked all my research page sites and took a deep breath as I punched the date in, well here goes nothing…
‘April 15, 1999. 9:00a.m, School of Visual Arts, Manhattan, New York City’ I typed in and then had second thoughts. I mean it’s a big school, I how could I be sure I would find him?
‘with in 20 feet of Gerard Way’ I added on and shrugged as I hit the enter button…
I stared at the screen waiting for something to happen. Slowly the monitor went black, almost like it was shutting down and then flickered a little as it came back on.
’Transmission successful…’ The words blinked on the screen. My eyes blinked too.
Suddenly I was fully aware that the lighting was different. Gone were the fluorescent lights of Starbuck. The sun was shining down on me now. I was outside at some kind of picnic table and it was spring time! Holy shit. It worked! This must be his campus… Well outside his campus at least. So where was he? I mean I said with in twenty feet.
I scanned my eyes around and didn’t see him anywhere. There was a tall well-tanned blonde guy at the next table -definitely not him. There was a couple making out under the tree to the right of me, but again not him. And a girl sitting alone on a bench to the left of me, sketching something…
“Good going Kat.” I mumbled to myself. I couldn’t figure out how this didn’t work… Maybe I put the wrong date in? Or maybe this isn’t the school of visual arts? But everyone here’s got sketchbooks and shit so it probably is…
I decided to go ask the girl sitting alone what day it was. The guy was closer but girls tend to be nicer. Plus I didn’t need the guy thinking I was hitting on him. I had my sights set on one man, and one man alone…
“Excuse me is today April 15th?” I leant over and asked her. She shifted forward slightly and when she lifted her head and pushed her long black hair from her face. I got the shock of my life.
Those eyes… I would recognize them anywhere. It was Gerard Way… But he was dressed like a girl. Like a chick! I mean the shirt, the shoes, the every thing. He was sorta hot but this was just wrong! So very very wrong!!
She just nodded. I mean he just nodded and I stared at him in disbelief.
“You're dressed like a girl.” I blurt out and he sorta gave me this small tight-lipped smile. “I didn’t mean it like that!” I add quickly, trying to fix it, but I think I was making it worse. “I mean that’s cool man.” I tell him. Wait what year is it? Do people say cool? I think they do… ‘Fuck Kat.’ I cursed to myself as he continued to stare at me.
This was not working out the way I wanted it to. Why is he in a fucking skirt?! Why did I not know this? I frantically began pounding on my keyboard, looking for something to make sense of this, and I found it.
"I went to school in drag, in art school and my day was completely different because everybody thought I was a chick. You should see me as a chick. So I went as a girl, as like an experiment and it worked really well and everyone was really nice to me but I couldn't talk obviously...you know train conductors were really cool to me on my commute...HA! I looked hot as a chick!"
Well, he did look hot as a chick, that was for sure, but this wasn’t right. And now I blew my first meeting with him cause I wasn’t prepared… Shit…. Maybe I could go back and try again? But I don't know… I mean I'm not a time warp continuum specialist. What would happen if I run into myself? Would the universe explode? God… I needed to think about this. I needed time, which was stupid cause you think I had all the time in the world at my fingertips.
Unless that was it? That was my only shot and I blew it? I began to panic. Even more so when I realized I navigated away from that page to find out why Gerard was in a skirt. But it was still open in another window.
“Thank god.” I sighed as I collapsed on to my keys and then a shadow fell across the table.
“You okay?” A voice says and I looked up and it was Gerard. I quickly pulled the screen on my laptop down, not closed, but closed enough so he couldn’t see what was on it. I mean how could I explain that? His picture plastered up all over my screen. Pictures that didn’t even exist yet…
“Uh yeah.” I tell him running my eyes up his outfit once more.
“I didn’t mean to scare you.” He says sorta apologetically and I shifted my eyes from him. I mean it was intimidating being so close to him. He's Gerard Way. The Gerard Way. Sure right now he's just plain old ordinary Gerard Way but one day he will be more, and my heart was fluttering in excitement.
“I'm just having a bad day that’s all.” I tell him. “You know one of those days when you think you got it all figured out and then realize you don't know shit.” I laughed to myself. My perfect plan was crumbling before my eyes.
“Forgot to file your taxes?” He jokes and it took me a second to realize why. “April 15th? Tax day?” He adds and I laughed once more. Of course I pick freaking tax day to come back on…
“Aw fuck. I didn’t even think of that.” I tell him and he smiled, but this time it was more of an actual smile and it was beautiful. I just stared up him. The light was hitting him from behind. Almost like as if he was on stage. It was mesmerizing…
“So you falling behind?” He says and I had not a clue what he was saying. “You got something due today?” He says I guess trying to figure out why I was asking him the date and then panicking as I banged on my computer. I think he thought that I had like a project due or something for class. “If it’s a computer problem, I might be able to help.” He says as he reached for my laptop and I stopped him.
“No, no, no it’s not that.” I say quickly. “I don't even go to school here.” I add on stupidly. Ah, good going Kat. Now he's looking at me like I'm crazy, and truth be told I probably am. I mean I'm sitting on their campus, with my computer and bag, like any other student for what? For fun?
“Oh.” He says and he went to step back a little.
“I had a problem with my tuition.” I blurt out. Ohhh, good one…. I smiled to myself. “So I don't ‘go here’ not anymore...” I tell him and he nodded. “I'm umm Kat.” I held my hand out to him. I don't know why I did it, I suppose cause things were going so badly already and I was just gonna have to redo the day anyway, so it wouldn’t matter.
“Gerard.” He says placing his hand in mine. I held onto it a little longer then I should've I suppose cause he pulled it back and sorta smiled at me and I blushed. “You live around here cause your accent says Jersey.” He says and my mind went totally blank.
Do I live around here? Aw fuck… I don't know… I don't know what I'm doing! I have no money. I have no clothes. Shit. I really should've planned this better. Another look of terror must’ve passed over my face cause he was looking at me concerned once more.
“You okay?” He says and I nodded as I scooped all my junk up off the table.
“Mm-hmm, but I gotta run. Sorry. I'm so sorry.” I tell him as I took a few steps backwards from him.
“I’ll see you around... Kat.” He called out after me and I sorta waved as I ran off…
God this was not working out the way I thought. I had ruined today that was for sure. But could I do it again? Do I want to do it again? I was just so not expecting to see him in drag! That was what had thrown me all off… I needed to just sit and think a minute. I needed some coffee actually. But I didn’t have a car, or any clue how to get there. My only means of transportation was my laptop portal.
“Ah what the hell.” I sighed as I opened it up. I deleted out ‘School of visual arts’ and replaced it with just ‘Coffee shop’ since I didn’t have a specific one in mind… I adjusted the time to 1:00 pm, to miss the morning rush, and tweaked the day a week or so ahead April 27,1999. I hit the enter button and waited and nothing happened…
Nothing happened…