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“Should I have coffee or tea, Jack?”

It’s a simple question that’s asked every single day all across the world – but for Alex, it’s much more than just a simple question. Jack looks up from his bowl of cereal and shrugs, even though he knows Alex will just keep asking and asking until he gets a decent response.

“Should I watch American Idol or Lost tonight?”

“I’m not sure if I want to go running for an hour or just a half hour…What do you suggest?”

“Sneakers or no?”

“I can’t pick between the red shirt and the blue one…What would you pick?”

Of course, Alex did ask more serious questions, but mostly they’re little insignificant things. He simply can’t make a decision on his own – it’s almost as if it pains him severely to do so.

“I just don’t know what I want…” Alex says quietly, trailing off.

“Orange juice,” Rian suggests as he walks into the room. He smirks at Alex and grabs the box of cereal off the counter and a bowl from the cabinet.

As Rian sits, Jack can see the frustrated look his boyfriend is now wearing – all thanks to Rian’s simple suggestion of a fruit based drink. “Just have coffee, Lex. That’s what I’d have.” One he sees the relief flood Alex’s features, he turns to Rian and whispers “Don’t be such an ass. You know you’re not supposed to add in more options – it’ll just make the problem worse.”

“Sorry,” Rian apologizes, though he doesn’t look sorry at all. “I can’t help it. I just find it really funny.”

“Well, it’s not, okay? You’re going to seriously cause him stress.”

Rian rolls his eyes just as Zack walks into the kitchen. He heads right for the fridge and that’s when Alex attacks him with the question.

“Should I have coffee or tea?”

“Well, what are you in the mood for?”

Alex stares at Zack for a second, some emotion that Jack has seen far too many times filling his eyes. He knows that Alex is starting to get frustrated, but he’s trying to control himself. “I’m in the mood for both.”

“You’ll have to pick one.”

Of course Zack would be the one to force Alex to make a decision. Sure, it has to be done, but sometimes Jack feels like it’s just easier to let Alex rely on them – to navigate him through life.

“I can’t, Zack!”

The box of tea bags is unceremoniously thrown to the floor right before Alex storms from the room, leaving a shocked and distressed Zack still standing in front of the fridge.

“Way to go,” Jack says, pushing his seat back from the table and getting up to follow Alex. He throws a glare towards Zack and walks swiftly past him. Right before he can push the swinging door open, he feels someone grab his arm and pull him backwards.

“Don’t blame Zack,” Rian warns him, his grip on Jack’s arm loosening. “It’s not his fault. He’s doing exactly what the therapist told us to do – He’s the only one who’s even bothered.” Jack opens his mouth to speak but Rian holds up his hand, “If you keep babying him, and making all of his decisions, then he’s never going to be able to live on his own – to be independent. It’s just the way it is, Jack, and you know it!”

Jack wants to argue – he wants to tell Rian that he’s completely wrong. But it’d be a waste of time, because he knows that it’s actually him who’s wrong. “I…I know,” He finally admits. “I just…”

“You don’t want to upset him, I know, but in order for him to get better … you have to.”

With a sigh, Jack nods and turns around. He pushes open the swinging door and follows the path that Alex took a few seconds earlier. When he reaches their shared bedroom on the second floor, he finds the door to be locked.

“Alex, can you open the door please?” he calls out after knocking. “It’s Jack.”

Jack hears a muffled cry of ‘go away’, but Jack ignores it. His fingers fumble along the top of the door frame, searching for the key that he knows is there. He stashed it there the last time this happened. When he finds it, he grabs it and quickly unlocks the bedroom door. Alex is sprawled out on the bed, his body shaking with sobs that he’s trying to suppress. In his hands is a book – Family Treatment of Personality Disorders.

“Alex, can you talk to me?”

“I’m getting worse.”

Alex’s whispered words cause Jack to frown. “Why would you think that?”

“I can’t fucking decide if I want coffee or tea, Jack! That’s not normal!”

“Alex… I mean… honestly, you’re not normal.”

Alex groans and rolls over, pulling his sheets over his head. “Thanks for reminding me,” is his muffled response.

“Lex, you can’t let this get you so upset. Zack just wants you to get better – you know that.”

Jack crawls onto the bed – their bed – and wraps his arms around Alex’s body. He watches as Alex slowly pulls the covers away from his face.

“Yeah…and how come you’re not doing the same thing?”

His question hits Jack hard – he doesn’t really have an answer for him. Sure, he wants Alex to get better just like Zack does. But he hasn’t been trying to help. He’s been like a crutch to Alex – encouraging him to lean on others.

“I…I don’t know.”

Alex moves his body closer to Jack’s and laces their fingers together. “Sometimes I feel like you don’t want to be bothered. You always just answer my questions.”

“I don’t want you to be upset – I hate seeing you sad. I love you.”

“I love you too but…But you need to help me with this, Jack,” the older boy whispers, his fingers clutching at Jack’s cotton t-shirt. “I can’t do this without your help.”

“I don’t want to be the one to make you sad or frustrated or stressed…”

“Well…you’re going to have to be. Make me make my own decisions – Yeah it’s going to piss me off and I’ll probably cry a lot…” Alex laughs slightly, knowing that that’s not an exaggeration at all. “But like the therapist said…It’s going to get worse before it can get better.”

“Fine…I’m not going to like it, though…”

“I’ll try not to make it too hard on you,” Alex assures him with a small smile.

“Promise?”

“Yeah; I promise. But um…maybe just once more you could tell me if I should have coffee or tea.”

“Nope.” Jack stands up from the bed. “I’m not going to baby you anymore.”

“But – Jack! Last time, I swear!”

“No. You can do it – just pick.”

“No, really – please, just this one last time!”

As Jack leaves the room, he hears Alex groan in frustration and throw his book onto the floor. He knows it’s not going to be easy to help Alex overcome his disorder, but if Alex throws a temper tantrum every time, he’s not sure if it’s going to work out. But he’s willing to give it a try – for Alex’s sake.