Save Me From The Nothing I've Become

The boys, even adorable little Frankie, helped carry my bags in. Every time I'd go to grab one, one of them would take it before I could. I ended up taking just my purse inside. They were sweet, all of them, even the parents. Tony stuck me with a hard one, this time.

There was a reason me and Tori were partners; I was the one who lead the target to where we needed them. I was the distraction, usually. Tori enjoyed killing, in a way. She liked having power over people. I, on the other hand, would feel guilty, but, I never said anything about it. A guilty assassin; can you even imagine?

Anyway, guess what the God of Irony decided?
I got the room right next to Nick. Excuse me for not jumping with joy, but, the guy has barely looked at me, let alone talk to me. Figures the one I need doesn't care about me. Although, his brother, Joseph, seems pretty interested.

Any other day, I wouldn't mind, but he's not the one I'm after.

Denise had put one of Frankie's comforters on the bed in the guest room for me; it was Spiderman designed. I had the choice between this one and a bright pink one with flowers all over it. It wasn't a very hard decision. Joe had promptly announced that Superman was cooler than Spiderman, which I quickly denied.

“Superman is awesome!” He exclaimed, sitting on the floor of the room.

“Uh, no, he's not.” I shook my head. “He sucks.”

“Does not!” He shook his head childishly. “He's got huge muscles and super powers.”

“But,” I smirked, “Spiderman actually knows how to get a girl.” Joe was silent. “In. your. face.” I stuck my tongue out at him. He pouted.

“Kevin! Nick!” He called out the door, turning to face it. “Frankie! Get in here!” I heard the footsteps coming up the stairs a moment later.

“What?” Kevin stepped in first, Nick and Frankie following.

“This girl over here,” he waved a hand at me, “thinks Spiderman is cooler than Superman!” At this, Kevin gasped dramatically, eyes wide in fake shock.

“How dare you!” He exclaimed, holding his heart and staggering back a few steps. I giggled.

“I like Spiderman!” Frankie said, hopping up beside me on the bed.

“Yeah!” I held my hand up; he high-fived me.

“It's a tie,” Joe said, eyes narrowing, “Nicholas, it's up to you.”

“The age old question, Superman,” Kevin grinned, nodding, “or Spiderman?” His grin fell and he shook his head.

“Well...” Nick trailed off, thinking. I had to remind myself not to stare too long. “Superman is pretty...you know, super,” he said, and before Joe could speak, continued, “but, Spiderman's outfit is like...awesome. And capes are a tad over-rated.”

“Are not.” Kevin and Joe mumbled simultaneously.

“I'm gonna have to go with Spiderman.” He decided, smiling as I threw my hands in the air.

“Yes! Ha!” I pointed at Joe mockingly. “In your face, again!” Joe crossed his arms stubbornly, turning away.

“Superman is still cooler.” He said to himself. “Hmph.”

“Whatever helps you sleep at night, Joseph.” I said, shaking my head. His brothers laughed; Kevin's loud and happy, Frankie's sweet and small, Nick's a simple, deeper chuckle that made a small shiver go down my spine.

I am seriously beginning to like it here.

I had my stuff settled in about an hour and a half later. The boys had volunteered to help, surprise surprise, but I said no. Simply because there were some things, such as my bras, for instance, that I didn't need them seeing. They agreed, all blushing, and got out, leaving me to myself. I looked around the room as I sat, cross legged, on the bed. Denise had given me red curtains, to match the bed, and they were now in the window. The dresser was stacked with socks and pajamas and underwear and all that stuff, the closet with my clothes and shoes. There was a desk with a rolling chair, where I put my laptop and notebooks. A hidden passion of mine was that I loved writing songs. Don't get me wrong, I can't sing or play instruments, but I love to write. Also on the desk, I put a few pictures of me and Tori. Goofy ones, of us grinning at the camera, one of us covered in flour from the time we tried to make Tony a birthday cake. Needless to say, we went out to eat.

The carpet is annoying me. It's white; bright and clean and it looks like people haven't walked on it in years. I like when my room is clean, sure, but it's just so....plain. Boring. Maybe I'd get a throw rug or something. A Spiderman one, just to piss Joe off.

All in all, this room is pretty nice. The house is amazing. They have one of those big pools with the slides and all. I, for one, can't wait to swim in it.

The sound of music snapped from my thoughts. Light guitar playing; acoustic, most definitely. I followed it, stopping right next door, at Nick's room, and listened. He had skill; he could play really well. It surprised me, though, we he started to sing.

“You, you're like driving on a Sunday
You, you're like taking off on Monday
You, you're like a dream
A dream come true.”

Mesmerized, I pressed my ear to the door, listening with a smile on my face. He had a beautiful voice.

“I was just a face you never noticed
Now, I'm just trying to be honest
With myself, with you
With the world

You might think that I'm a fool
For falling over you
So, tell me, what can I do to prove to you
That it's not so hard to do?
Give love a try, one more time
Cause you know that I'm on your side
Give love a try, one more time.”

I bit my lip, hesitantly knocking. A small moment of silence passed.

“Come in.” He said. Blushing, my heart thumping hard against my chest, I opened the door and stepped in.

“Hi.” I whispered, waving slightly, closing the door behind me. The guitar I assumed he had been playing was now leaning on it's stand in the corner of the room. He was standing.

“Hi.” He said quietly in return.

“I, uh,” I stuttered, swallowing and looking at my feet, “I heard you, uhm, singing. And playing.” I looked up, watching his face turn a scarlet red.

“Oh.”

“I didn't mean to!” I said. “I was just, uh, you know, walking by–”

“It's okay,” he looked at his guitar, “but...what did you think?” He looked back to me. I felt my cheeks heat up under his stare.

“It was amazing,” I breathed, my smile returning, “You're amazing.” His eyes softened, a smile cracking through his expression.

“Thank you.”

“You, uh, wrote that song?” I squeaked. He nodded.

“Yeah, I write a lot of songs.”

“So do I.” I blurted out, pursing my lips after. His eyebrows rose.

“Really?”

“W-Well, yeah.” I chewed on my lip, looking anywhere but him. “I just, you know, get inspired sometimes and just...write.”

“I get it.” I could still see him smiling through the corner of my eye. “Can I see them?”

“Huh?” I blinked, turning back to him.

“Your songs?”

“Oh!” I blushed. “Sure, yeah.” He took a few steps toward me and for a second I just stood still.

“Brittany?” He said softly, but I was close enough to hear him. Yeah, I was that close. “You okay?”

“Fine, I'm fine.” I squeaked, turning and shuffling out. Dear God, I'm like a stupid love sick puppy.

“It's been a while since someone's stayed in here.” He said as he followed me in. He looked around, taking my alterations in.

“I noticed,” I gestured to the carpet, “I think I'm gonna get a rug or something. The carpet is too...”

“Boring?” He suggested. Grinning, I nodded. I picked up a notebook, jumping as he stood beside me. “Who's that?” He looked at the pictures.

“Oh,” I smiled, “that's my sister...Charlie.”

“Where is she?” He looked at me, a careful look in his eye.

“She's in Georgia,” I shrugged. “Different interests, I guess.”

“Oh.”

“Well, uh, anyway,” I turned to him, blinking as I realized how close he was. “H-Here.” I thrust the book to him. He took it from me, offering a smile as he opened it. “Not all of them...are about my experiences, you know?” He nodded, eyebrows furrowed as he read, concentrated. I'd never even let Tori see most of my songs. Why was I letting him?

After about twenty minutes, we were lying side by side, in my bed, reading each other's song books. We'd make small comments or suggestions here and there. He had talent. He was amazing, like I had said before.

“I really like this one,” he whispered, his breath tickling my ear. I looked at the book, the title Wild At Heart – Poem was on the top.

That rebel moon is shinin'
Those stars burn like diamonds
Hell bent on chasin' down that crazy spark
I'll follow you where you're leading
To the first sweet taste of freedom
You got me runnin' baby,
Wild at heart.

“So do I.” I smiled to myself.

“It could be a song.” He said.

“It could be,” I shrugged, “but I like it this way.”

“Mmm.” He hummed. “Me, too.” I continued flipping through the pages of his songs. I didn't have nearly as many; most of his were incomplete. I like finishing mine, or at least changing ones I couldn't into poems. He finished before me, watching me read. One of his songs / poems were really nice.

I want someone to love me
For who I am
I want someone to need me
Is that so bad?
I want a break of the madness
But it's all I have
I want someone to love me
For who I am.

“That's my favorite one,” he said, “I started it a little while ago. I'm still working on it.”

“I love it. It's really...” I couldn't find the right word for it. “I dunno what.” He chuckled beside me as I closed the book. I looked at him. He stared back. I never really got a good look at his eyes until now. They're brown, they sparkle, and I think I just got lost in them.

“Hey, it's time for din–” Joe's voice cut off. “Oh..” I stood quickly, blushing. Nick did the same, on the opposite side of the bed. Joe frowned. “Time for dinner.” He said, turning and leaving the room.

“Damn,” Nick mumbled, running a hand through his hair, “he's mad at me.”

“Why?” He glanced at me for a moment.

“No reason. He's weird.” He walked out before I could say anything else. Sighing, I took my phone out, turning it on. Tori had texted me.

How's it going? Get in his pants yet? ;)

Don't get attached, mama! Remember that! <3

A pang jabbed at my heart.
This was a family I wanted to get attached to.