This Modern Love

Shaun had left to meet Natalie’s skating partner, leaving the rest of us in the driveway waiting for Keir’s appearance.

“Dude, I’m so excited!” Scotty squealed, chewing on his knuckles.

“Dude, me too! I haven’t seen Keir in forever!” Kevin grinned. “I would have talked to him last night, but we were both puking.”

“Yeah, well I’m glad you are excited. I hated Keir,” Louie grumbled.

Mason slapped Louie in the chest.

“Why?!” Mason shouted.

“He used to beat me up all the time! And it wasn’t even friendly wedgies, or wet willies, purple nurples, and swirlies! He did it because he wanted to make me cry!” Louie whined.

“Oh, get over it,” Kevin scoffed.

“I WAS IN KINDERGARDEN!” Louie emphasized.

“Yeah, I wasn’t a big fan of Keir either,” I admitted, shaking my head.

“How dare you!” Mason bellowed.

“He was an asshole to me, too! He used to trip me all the time, and all that elementary crap,” I explained.

“I’m pretty sure he’s grown up some since then, babe,” Scotty shrugged.

“Louie hasn’t,” I pointed out.

“I have so!” Louie shouted, sounding offended.

“Yeah, he doesn’t piss his pants while watching the opening to Pinky and the Brain,” Mason teased.

“Fuck you,” Louie spat.

“Shh! I think I see him!” Kevin yelled, waving his hand at us, and pointing to the on coming car.

A 1987 Cadillac came rolling around the culdesac. Louie twisted his face into something like a grimace. Scotty, Kevin, and Mason tried to stand like they were the cool cats on the block, trying to hide their excitement. I sat next to Louie on the tailgate of Mason’s truck.

Keir parked the car in front of Mason’s mailbox and stepped out of the car.

“Kevin!” he yelled, opening his arms for a hug.

Kevin jumped over the mailbox and ran into Keir’s arms.

“Keir! God, where have you been, man?!” he exclaimed into Keir’s shoulder.

Kevin pulled away and backed up from Keir.

“I’ve been around. Since I graduated, I thought I would come back to the birthplace and see some old friends. I’ve been trying to look you up, man. But you are hard to find,” he answered, walking towards the rest of us.

“How long have you been in town?” Kevin asked.

“A couple months. I’ve been bunking with the cousins, you know?” he replied.

His face lit up when he saw Scotty and Mason.

“Scotty!” he exclaimed, giving him some weird handshake thing that involved slaps and snaps. “How have you been, baby?” he squealed.

“I’ve been good, real good! Look at you, man! You got on your best fit! Looks like you’ve been getting paid!” Scotty laughed, pointing at Keri’s Kswiss shoes and rich boy attire.

“And laid,” Mason added with a smile.

“Hell yeah! You know the ladies can’t keep their hands off of this dark, handsome fella like me,” he smiled, brushing his hair with his hand and popping his collar.

I shook my head in disapproval, and Louie started to make mocking faces.

“Watch this,” Keir whispered to Scotty. He did some weird pimp walk towards me and wrapped his arms around me.

I immediately rolled my eyes and scoffed. The joys of being the only vagina in the group.

“I noticed you looking all pretty over here, and uh, I thought that I would let you know that I want to get with you. Lookin’ all fine,” he said sweetly, running his finger on the side of my face.

“Keir, if you keep touching me, I swear I’ll stick that finger up your ass,” I threatened darkly.

He moved back in shock.

“Candace?” he whispered in surprise.

I nodded, keeping a rude face.

“Damn, you got cute over the years,” he chuckled.

“Keir, the last time you saw me, I had both of my front teeth missing,” I reminded him.

“But you haven’t changed much. You’re still as bitchy as you were then,” he teased with a grin.

“Amen,” Mason snickered.

Keir took a step closer to Louie, who twisted his lips awkwardly.

“I know you,” Keir whispered, pointing a finger at Louie.

“No you don’t,” Louie insisted quickly.

“Louie Vito,” Keir whispered. “Louie fucking Vito!” he yelled. He grabbed Louie in a head lock and started to rub his knuckles violently across his scalp.

“Quit it!” Louie groaned, trying to force Keir off of him.

Keir let go, leaving Louie’s hair looking like a hurricane went through it.

“I remember you,” Keir smirked.

Louie tried to comb his hair with his fingers.

“Yeah, that’s great,” Louie spat.

“What are we doing today, folks?” Keir asked, rocking on his heels.

“We have to pack. We are going with Shaun to Colorado.,” Mason answered.

“I wondered where that little redheaded punk was!” Keir exclaimed. “I remember you and him where like two peas in a pod. When I tripped you, he always fell also,” Keir reminded me.

“Yep, he’s still around,” I reported.

“You guys doing it yet?” Keir asked with a nasty smirk.

“Nope, I’m doing it with Scotty,” I answered, picking the dirt out from underneath my nails.

Keir’s jaw dropped and he turned to Scotty.

“Dude! High five!” Keir demanded.

Scotty obliged, and started laughing.

“Do you guys need help packing? I don’t have anything else to do today,” Keir offered.

“We need to go to Wall-mart for suitcases. Louie over here threw our old ones in the bayou,” Mason explained, throwing Louie dark glares.