Stories from the Back of His Motorcycle

Nick’s arrival was far less overwhelming than Ross’ had been. There was only a knock at the door which I lazily answered after another long day at school. He stood on the front steps, the very image he had been before, every hair on his head exactly the same, even his clothes resembled the ones he had left in. He didn’t wait for the awkward greeting of long avoided siblings – he just strode past with a small suitcase trailing behind him. And that was that. That was how Nick came to live in the empty house with me.

The first thing he said to me came the day after he arrived. It was something I had been dreading but no less expecting, something I felt he had a right to understand.

“So where are they?” His voice wasn’t accusing or particularly worried - it sounded like he had merely asked me to pass the butter. I was just crossing him on my way to school, backpack hung loosely across my shoulders, when we met awkwardly on the stairs. I didn’t know quite what to say or where to even move – his body dominated my escape so I was trapped.

I let my eyes meet his and calmly leant against the wall. Even though Nick was a new ghost in this house he was a presence I felt grateful to have. It was nice to pass the living room and hear the faint blaring of a baseball game on the television, to come down in the morning and find that coffee was already brewing. Without even meaning to he broke the terrible silence I had been forced to become accustomed to. I didn’t mind him barely talking – that was just who Nick was. To know that he hadn’t changed actually comforted me.

“I already told you,” I said icily. No matter how relieved I was to have Nick home I would never let him know it. The past few years had still happened, and I still felt the unhealed bruises their absence had inflicted on me. “Dad left. Mom has too.”

Nick nodded slowly, curly brown hair falling gracefully into his eyes. I wondered what was going on behind those eyes, if Nick felt the loss as much as I did. “Okay. I’m going out.” And he just turned around on the stairs and walked out the front door. That was probably my answer. That was probably my only answer.

I only lingered for another second, Vaughn’s motorcycle was blaring noisily from the driveway. My feet followed the sound. There were clouds dominating the sky, leaving patches of blue isolated amid the overpowering grey. I peered down at my hands to see them slightly purple – tracing the prominent veins with my eyes before something far more startling caught my attention.

There was Vaughn leaning against his motorcycle. Strands of dark hair fell sparsely across his forehead, a smoking cigarette firmly set in between his teeth. Dark jeans clad his legs tightly – so tightly I supposed that they were originally girls’ – and a white v-neck was obscured by his usual leather jacket. But all that wasn’t too unusual, still breathtaking maybe but not unusual. The bizarreness started with the fact that Vaughn was smiling and talking to Nick. My brother.

I didn’t realise I was gaping until Vaughn smirked mockingly at me. I then began coughing violently, too stunned to even blush. If I knew anything about Vaughn it was that he didn’t trust easily – he held people as far away as possible and hoped that eventually they would lose interest. His display of overflowing testosterone the day before had also proven that he didn’t get along with my family much. So surely Nick fell under both the category of stranger and brother? A double negative struck against his name?

“She’s a beaut, though, that engine looks like it could run for days without the slightest glitch.” The situation was made more surreal when I overheard Nick string a sentence of more than a few words together. “I’ve always wanted to get a model like this. How does she ride?”

I shifted uncomfortably from where I still lingered near the front door, unsure as to whether I wanted to interrupt or not. Their jargon was lost on me and the image of Nick becoming animated with his words had me unintentionally smiling. There had been a point in time where he’d speak to me like that. All arms flailing, chipped front tooth just visible. Usually it had been about his music which I wasn’t much interested in but I would humour him anyway.

“Alice?” Vaughn broke me from my thoughts, the helmet playing in his hands. I flashed a quick glance towards Nick who had visibly stiffened before following Vaughn’s unsaid command. “You ready to go?”

I took the helmet and placed it quickly over my head. Instantly my vision was tinted and Nick completely invisible to me. Too bad I couldn’t completely drown his voice out with it too.

“Alice, so how do you and Vaughn know each other?”

I reluctantly turned and flipped the visor up. My mouth was just about to form the words “we’re friends,” before Vaughn sneakily wound an arm around my waist. “We’re dating,” he said confidently as if he wasn’t just about to be smacked upside the head or cursed to high hell.

“Cool,” Nick replied smoothly “see you later.” I didn’t know who his words were directed to so I just turned towards Vaughn and pulled the helmet dramatically off my head. I barely noticed Nick’s retreating figure, placing a hand on my hip and trying to look as dangerous as I felt. By the amused look on Vaughn’s face it wasn’t working.

“Why do you have to tell people that? We’re not bloody going out!”

“We’re together right now. You’re a girl and I’m a boy, I see you every day, we occasionally kiss, some may say that would suggest we’re dating.”

“Well we aren’t, do you do this to just piss me off?”

“You don’t want to be my girlfriend?” Vaughn smirked, stepping closer. I mirrored his movement and boldly moved forward. Vaughn would not intimidate me.

“That didn’t answer my question.”

“And you aren’t answering mine.”

“Maybe because I don’t want to.”

“Maybe because the answer is that you do want to be my girlfriend.”

“Don’t be so cocky,” I said sharply “what makes you think I would ever want to date someone like you. You ride a motorcycle and smoke and drink and fight. Not exactly Prince Charming.”

“Your insanely cute expression of outrage gives you away sweetheart. You want me to be your boyfriend because I’m exactly not like Prince Charming.”

I let out an exasperated breath, aware that I could never really beat Vaughn. Aware that he was right. “Shut up Vaughn Hart or we’re going to be late for school.”

“You think we’re going to school today Alice Thornberry?” He swung a leg over the seat and turned his head back to observe me. I narrowed my eyes at him and his subtle smirk. He took a last long drag on the cigarette before letting it fall into the gutter beside him; I watched the red end burn away into nothingness through the grid.

“I know we’re going to school today, and you’re crazy if you think we’re not.”

“I prefer the term insane,” he grinned darkly and for a brief moment I could picture him as such. But still, insanity suited Vaughn. I rolled my eyes at him and myself and got begrudgingly on behind him. “I didn’t know Nicki Grifiths was your brother.”

“Who?” I snorted at the stupid name.

“The guy we were just talking to.”

“You mean Nick? Who the hell is Nicki Griffiths?”

“Nicki Griffiths is his stage name when he’s with his band – The ‘Forget Me Knots’ – they’re pretty amazing actually.”

I couldn’t help but burst out laughing. Nicki Griffiths? Really? “What kind of a stupid stage name is that?” I chortled.

“An awesome one.”

“Wait,” I shuffled closer to his body as Vaughn kicked the motorcycle into life, my laughter dying down. “You saw my brother’s band actually play?” I had only briefly heard about the ‘Forget Me Knots’ through a disgruntled Dad who had just got off the phone with Nick after hearing his youngest son was dropping out of college.

“Yeah, a year or so back when they did a small key gig in this town. It conflicted with school but that wasn’t even a problem, I’d heard their music and liked their style. Kind of heavy metal and indie rolled into one.”

I didn’t think to protest that indie and heavy metal could not possibly ever be rolled into one because I was too stunned by the news that Nick had been in town only twelve or so months ago. I hadn’t seen him in over three years and yet he’d been so close at one point. In this very town. I wondered bitterly if his visiting would have prevented Dad from leaving.

“You okay sweetheart?” Vaughn had twisted around following my lengthy silence. His eyes were searing me, concern thick in his tone.

“Wonderful,” I said darkly “now if you don’t set this motorbike into gear right now we’re going to be late for school and I’m going to kick your ass.” It didn’t take long for Vaughn to have us speeding down the highway in the direction of high-school, either scared by my threat or wary of my wavering tone.