Don't Change The Way You Think Of Me

*A couple months later*

I just wake up, still in that hazy place between dream and reality. I breathe in deeply, and notice I have my arm wrapped around another body. For a second, I forget. I blink, thinking I can't be with this boy. I'm with Val. I panic, until I realize that all of that is over. I give a small soft smile and wriggle closer to Johnny, him haven taken most of my covers and basically cocooned himself in them while he slept. I hated it when Val did that. I don't understand why I don't mind it now.

Suddenly, I feel Johnny shift against me, and his eyes flutter open. I'm greeted with the warmth of his hazel eyes, and tired, yet still bright smile.

"This is different," he mutters sleepily.

"Mmhmm," I murmur, kissing the top of his forehead.

It wasn't until now we actually slept the night together. I was always afraid my parents would find out when they came home early, or wanted to wake me up for some unknown reason. Plus the fact that I had nosy friends, who seemed to not mind at all coming over at all hours of the night.

Johnny gets up, getting dressed slowly, like he doesn't want to. "What are you doing?" I ask curiously.

Then, the dreamy feeling I had felt falls through, and the cold harsh reality comes biting hard.

"Gotta get ready to go home. My parents will be wondering where I am."

"But-"

"But what?"

"You're not gonna stay? Not for at least five minutes?"

Johnny narrows his eyes at me. "You sound like the bitch in the relationship right now. 'Oh, don't leave me'."

I growl, pulling what covers I had off of myself and walk towards him. "What do you mean by that?"

"I'm just saying... We weren't exactly ready for what happened last night. At least I wasn't. And I don't really want to try again until I'm ready."

I look at Johnny, not believing what I'm hearing. "We had sex last night, Johnny. Sex. I'm sure you would've said something to me before that you weren't ready. I swear to God, if word gets out that I raped you-"

"It's not about that, Matt!" Johnny finally yells. "I mean that it didn't feel right! I mean, it did, but we rushed it! Do you get what I'm saying? I'm just... Not ready yet. I.. God, this is so hard to explain... I don't regret anything. I just, maybe I'm setting my expectations for this relationship a bit higher."

I furrow my eyebrows, not getting a word he's saying.

"Look, I should go. I need to do some stuff today and you have to get ready to practice with the guys and whatever."

By practice with the guys, he means our little band. It's not much, something we've just been fooling around with these past few weeks. But I guess it stops being fooling around when you're starting to look for a serious bassist who will actually contribute to shit.

"Fine, I get it." But I really don't. "See you Monday?"

"Yeah, Monday." Johnny gives me a quick kiss on the lips before exiting my room, leaving me to my own thoughts about what just happened.

------------------------------------------

"Dude, I'm seriously sick and tired of your shit right now!" Zacky yells at our current bass player, Dameon.

Brian, Jimmy and I just look at one another, as the argument quickly heats up. Zacky insists that we do our own stuff, not become some crappy cover band making money off of other people's shit. Dameon just doesn't care.

I'm quickly brought back to reality when I hear Zacky screaming, "Get the fuck out of this garage!"

"Whoa, whoa, Zacky," Brian intervenes. "Let's at least try and talk about this."

"I'm not talking about shit!" Zacky states lividly. "He's got to go!"

I sigh. Overall, the four of us work great together. We just haven't found that fifth element yet to add. No one gives off the right vibe, but that could be just because we've known each other for so long, no one is going to click with us right away. Zacky just can't seem to understand that.

"Fine, you know what? I quit!" Dameon fumes. "This band was going nowhere anyway."

He storms off, and Zacky clenches his fists, trying to calm himself down. Noticing the look I'm giving him, he snarls at me. "Oh come on, you can't say that guy was helping."

I raise my hands in defeat, not saying a word.

Jimmy, however, agrees. "He, and his music tastes, could suck my dick."

"Exactly," Zacky points out.

Brian sighs, but I know he agrees as well.

"Zacky, I can understand where you're coming from," I say, "but you have to understand, not everyone is going to waltz right in here and start playing with us like we've known them for ever. Things like this take time. Both we and they are at a disadvantage because we don't want to allow a stranger in, and they don't like the close atmosphere we already have. They won't feel like they're fitting in."

Zacky furrows his eyebrows together, rubbing his head. "Yeah, but you have to admit, he wasn't even worth it."

"I think we can all agree on that."

Zacky starts muttering to himself, before saying he wants to talk with Jimmy alone. It raises suspicions between Brian and I, but we don't object. We stand outside the garage, close enough to listen in, but far enough to the side to not be seen.

"Jimmy, I really think we need to get Johnny in here."

"What? Why?"

"Because, he plays bass. I've heard him. And he's pretty damn good at it too. All I'm saying is to give it a try, if he's willing. But don't bring this up to the others just yet."

"What do you think Matt's gonna do when he hears about this?" Jimmy questions, not knowing about us in the least. "I don't think it's gonna go down very well," he muses.

"We're not telling anyone about it yet," Zacky says. "If they know now, they'll say no immediately. They won't even give him the chance. And he deserves it. Trust me, Jimmy. Don't say a word, and I'll talk to him about it, okay?"

I can hear Jimmy sigh faintly. "Fine, but if Matt and Brian kick all three of our asses, I'm not the one who started it."

"Thank you, Jim. Like Matt said, we're close knit. Maybe bringing him in is better than all these strangers."

Brian looks at me incredulously after hearing the whole conversation. I smack my finger to my lips, signaling for him to shut up before he starts something, and they figure us out.

"Oh hell no!" He whispers harshly.

"Just shut up! We'll pretend that we don't know about it and if you don't want him, vote to kick him out after he shows us his stuff."

Because in all honesty, I never would have pegged Johnny for a bass boy. He never told me about it, and now I'm curious. Why hasn't he told me about this before?

"I'm sure he's shown you his stuff," Brian retorts as Zacky and Jimmy come out to get us again. I give Brian a warning glance, before we all walk back into the garage again, undecided and at odds with each other.