Don't Change The Way You Think Of Me

It was two in the morning when I heard my cell phone ring, and by the ring tone I knew it was Val. Damn that woman. I reach over to my bedside table and try searching for my phone. Why she had to have Barbie Girl, I didn’t understand, but she said she wanted it as a ring tone when I had first got my new phone so I was nice and did as she demanded requested.

“Do you know what fucking time it is?” I say all grumpy like.

“Yes, and I’m sorry, but I just wanted to know if you need a ride in the morning. Michelle still won’t go to school due to what Brian had said and I get lonely riding by myself.” The thing about Val is that she doesn’t really like the “in” crowd even though in their eyes she’s 'little miss perfect.'

“Just ride with lover boy and get it over with.” I knew I had hit a nerve by the tone she sent back at me.

“No, stupid. I’m not riding with him because he’s always taking me over to his house after school and expects something. I don’t want to have sex at the moment. Not with what happened to Michelle.”

Her voice softens and I try to ignore the pain in it. For the last two months she had been fighting with herself on whether or not to have sex with Matt. It’s mainly due to the fact she thought she was pregnant and had a major flip out. The only people who knew were me and 'Chelle.

“I can’t believe I’m going to say this, but you should cut him some slack and at least give him a blow job or something. He has a fucking stick up his ass worse than ever and I can’t take anymore spit gel, you got me?” She laughs and I laugh with her.

“So are you going to ride with me or not?” Sheinsists asks again.

“I don’t know, do you guarantee that no harm will come to me if I ride with you?” There was a long pause before she responded.

“I promise.”

“Too late. You had to think about it. You know he’s going to kick my ass for even hugging you good-bye. No scratch that, for even saying good-bye. He’s going to think I have some sort of influence on you two’s sex life and will kick my ass even harder than he usually does.”

“No I promise, and he promised not to hurt you.” I sigh, but still don’t cave even when I hear her voice get all girly and I know she’s trying to turn on her charm. At times like this, I’m glad to be gay.

“No, maybe it’s time you told him your feelings--”

“Fuck no. We can at least last until the winter break which is this coming week. I want to try and make it work again. I didn’t waste all of my high school life and eighth grade year, and give him my virginity, to just break up.”

“You guys aren’t even really talking anymore. You can’t stand the fact that he wants to have sex when you’re trying to tutor him, and you get pissed off when he tries to control our relationship.” I hear her take a breath. She had complained a lot to me but never really thought I listened because I’m a guy. “Val, this isn’t getting better. Ask to take a break for a while.”

“But he’ll once again think you were the culprit behind all this and want to kick your ass and I can’t have that. I’m trying to help you--”

“Val, sweetie, you’re not helping anyone, not even yourself.” I sigh when I hear her quietly sob. It was finally getting to her. She never knew how much I knew her until now. “Look babe, it’s just a break and you’re going to tell him that too. Just say you need to think over certain things.”

“But how do I tell him?” She was crying fully now and I knew that she had to keep quiet or she would wake Chelle who was only a room over.

“Here’s what you should do. Tell him to drive you to school tomorrow. After school, tell him you want to have dinner and enjoy his company. If you still doubt the relationship, tell him that you guys need a break and that it’s only to get your head cleared up.” She breathed out a huge sigh. I could tell that she was probably nodding her head right now.

“Thanks Johnny, you’re the best!” She gets ready to hang up but I stop her.

“Oh Val?”

“Yes?”

“Never say ‘we need to talk’ and you’re set.” I say good night, well morning, and we hang up. Today would be the most interesting of all.

After dodging bullets yesterday and all the drama with my best friend’s relationship, I could really get some sleep and not go to school.

~`~`~`~`

I hurried off the bus and walk into the front office. My tutoring hours were running low this week so I needed to make up for that. I had been asked a couple of days ago on Wednesday to take an extra student for physics.

I wasn’t really excited at all. Even though my physics was really high up there, partially the reason to me having to tutor in the subject, I hated it with a burning passion. I look at the secretary and she smiles at me.

“Ms. Hart, do you know who I’m supposed to be tutoring tomorrow?” I’m one of the lucky student tutors that get to work Saturdays, Yeah right. Note the heavy amount of sarcasm there.

“No sir, your teacher should have the name for you. She didn’t bring it to us yet, but told the principal that you would more than likely get it in second period.” She pauses and looks side-to-side. Leaning forward she whispers, “But it’s one of the athletes.” I nod and walk out of the office. Somehow, I knew I would get stuck with one. They were the worst people to teach because their minds were other places, anywhere else in fact, instead of on their work.

Daniel, my other cousin who’s my age, walks up to me and we knuckle pound. He was another of my few friends. “So, did you hear about the party next Friday?” I grin and nod. The only reason I would even know is because Butch was hosting. My aunt, uncle, and both my parents would be gone for a couple of weeks since we are having winter break so Butch decided to host a party and trash the house.

“Yeah, but I don’t think I’m going to be going.” Daniel’s face scrunches up.

“Why the fuck not?”

“Too many…you know…jocks,” he rolls his eyes. He was a baseball star for our junior varsity.

“Shut the fuck up, 'cause no one at that fucking party is going to bother you. Butch said if anything goes down between you and…” he leans into me, “Matt, then we’re kicking his ass out.” I nod and he starts to walk me to my locker. Who said Butch was on my side now?

“Fine, I’ll think about it, but I’m not making a decision until later, ok?” He nods after sighing and I grab my stupid, fat Economics Honor book. The only class that doesn’t use a fucking class set would be the one with a fucking fat ass book.

I walk into the class and take my usual seat and avoid looking at the door at all costs. Val was in this class so Matt was always on his best behavior. Soon though, more likely after tonight, Matt wouldn’t give a shit what class he has with Val.

“Johnny!” She runs up to me and hugs me as she sits in the empty seat next to me. Her brown hair looked different. After pulling back out of the hug, my hands cup her face to turn it this way and that.

“Why’d you cut it?” I pull my hands back when there is a deep throaty growl from behind Val. She rolls he eyes and I smile.

“I wanted a change so Michelle cut it for me yesterday. Is it completely horrid or are you in shock?”

“Just in shock, but I’ll get over it.” Mainly because I would be getting a Mohawk soon and I knew she would kill me for cutting off my raven locks. The bell rings and she stands, smiles and walks to the back with Matt’s arm around her waist. That was yet another shocker. Then she turns and I see her look of slight discomfort.

Turning back around in my seat, the lesson continues and I swear more than half the class is already asleep.

~`~`~`~`

The end of Calculus is rolling around now and I had already finished my class work and homework. I sat with everything packed. I could hear the jocks in the back talking loudly about how they were going to kick my ass after school. Mrs. Peterson looks at me with sympathy and I just smirk.

This is high school and nothing is ever going to change so I could care less what they say right now. “Mr. Baker, can you see me after class?” She yells after looking down at a slip that arrived from the baseball coach a couple of minutes ago. She looks at me and nods for me to come up to her desk. I stand and walk up to her desk. “Can you see me after class also?” Nodding, I go and sit back down.

I saw this coming before it even arrived and I really hope that what she has to say isn’t as bad as I’m thinking it is.

Soon the bell is ringing and I stay in my seat. The jocks are passing by me now and Matt tells me that I’m lucky I have to stay or my ass would be toast. The room is soon empty and no students are entering because this is Mrs. Peterson’s free period.

“Mr. Baker, I do hope you know why I asked you to stay after class.” Zacky nods and I can see him swallow. “Ok. Well, let’s get down to business. Mr. Seward is going to be your student tutor for the time being. He’s the best in his classes and he is also a student tutor for physics. Mr. Seward only tutors on Monday, Wednesday, and Saturday. You are required to go to all of these until you at least have a 80 in your Physics class. Then you can decide which days are best for you.” She pauses and by the look on Zacky’s face, this was like a punch in the gut.

“He’ll be telling you the times and I guess that’s all I have to say. If you have any further problems accepting this, then talk with your coach, Mrs. Walling," our physics teacher, "or Jonathon.” He nods and she smiles and writes us a pass to our English class since it’s the same.

When we are halfway to class I put my hand on Zacky’s shoulder to stop him. He glares at me a little. “Hey, I understand you have a game tomorrow so I won’t ask that we have tutoring because you’ll be out of town.”

He shrugs and tries to keep walking. “Look, I know you’re worried about the staying on the fucking team ok? But you don’t have to be an ass. I could have just let you get a different tutor, one that doesn’t help jocks out easily. The only other person who could help you isn’t even in town right now and she doesn’t fully understand the new material because I have to tutor her on the weekends also.” He ignores me and keeps walking. “Look if you don’t stop being an ass hole, I’ll tell them that I can’t tutor you. Guess what'll happen then? No more baseball for you.”

He stops dead in his tracks and turns towards me, “What do you mean?”

“I mean that the other tutors already have their student spots taken up. Usually you’re only allowed one, maybe two students to help but I’m helping three ok? So if you want to be an ass hole I’ll tell your coach that I won’t tutor you.”

He glares at me. “Listen here short shi--”

“Say it and I’ll just quit right fucking now. My fucking name is Johnny, ok? If you can’t call me by my real name, then I can just go to your fucking baseball coach right now. I hate fucking jocks, but I get them passing with the above average. If you need a fucking 80, I can get you an 85, so if you want to go down that road then you can suck it and I can leave.” I was practically yelling at him. I start to walk to class but this time his hand lands on my shoulder and he pulls me to a stop.

“Dude, just fucking calm down,” I look at him and roll my eyes. “It’s just that I don’t want to have someone teaching me ok? Especially if they're younger, no offense.” He licks the single lip ring in his lip. I remember over-hearing that he's getting snake bites, but for now he only has one.

“Sure…as long as you fucking call me by my name. I don’t even give a shit if you call me Seward, as long as it’s my fucking name.” I poke his chest harshly. He winces and I smirk, “Got me?”

“Yeah Seward, I got you, ok?”

We make it to class finally and I walk over and hand the teacher the pass.

~`~`~`~`

When Physics finally rolls around, Mrs. Walling is explaining her lesson further as a continuation of last class, after hearing Matt arguing with Zacky, I see him move to the front and away from his friends, who stare at him in shock, and sit next to me. I freeze when I hear Mrs. Walling saying that he might actually get something accomplished today.

When we broke into partner work, Zacky stole me up before anyone else could. I carefully explain everything so that even a toddler would understand. He would ask certain questions and I would explain but for the most part he started to get it. By the end of class he had all his work done and was making jokes.

“Yo mamma’s so big and pale they couldn’t tell if she was a human or planet.” He had me laughing more than I had ever laughed in this class before. "Yo mamma’s so fat, that when she wore a yellow sundress they thought she was a school bus. Yo mamma’s so loose she didn’t even feel you when she gave birth.” I hit him in the shoulder and he was too busy laughing to notice.

“That’s so not cool dude.” I said and he holds his stomach from laughing.

“Then why were you laughing? Come on your turn.” He playfully punches my arm.

“Yo mamma’s so fat, when she tried to get on an elephant ride it took one step and collapsed from exhaustion.” He burst out laughing again and it wasn’t even that funny. I felt eyes glaring at me and turn to see hazel eyes basically stabbing me and gauging holes into my body. I freeze, but then the bell rings and I carefully pack my stuff.

Today I would have to face the music. I would have to get my ass kicked by Matt so that he would leave me alone for a while. I put my backpack on and Zacky slung an arm over my shoulder and pulls me with him.

“Want a smoke?” He asks holding it out for me once we reach the back of the school. Before I can decline, strong hands are on my shoulders and pushing me face forward on the ground.

My face skims the ground and I know that I’ll have a huge mark on the side of my face where it’s skinned. “What the fuck Matt?” It was Zacky. “Don’t you have a date with Val? What if she caught you?” Zacky was lifting me up off the ground. My face stung as I touch my cheek and pull away to see blood.

“Fuck,” I pull away and rip the sleeve of my shirt so that I can press it to my face. Matt looks shocked at the fact that I have the strength to rip fabric. Idiot.

“Johnny!” Val and JB were running over to me. “What the fuck happened?” She took my hand away and grabs her water bottle from her bag so she can clean my face.

“I tripped, and well... You know me Val.” She nods and Jason looks just as concerned. Matt’s mouth was open and he was gaping like a fish. He thought I would rat on him. I roll my eyes and tell Val that I’m not going to die.

Jason tells her that he’ll get me home safely and get my face cleaned before he leaves my house. She finally agrees and goes off with Matt. I hope everything goes smoothly between those two today, but I doubt it. And tomorrow, there's definitely going to be hell to pay on my part.