Dedication Takes a Lifetime

Saying things between Shaun and I got awkward would’ve been an understatement.

The playful dynamic between us had quieted, but it was still there. We still shared a bed, but his arm didn’t drape over me as he snored. We hadn’t kissed in weeks, and the hugs weren’t as warm as before.

I continued to beat myself up over my unplanned confession of love. I knew I had strong feelings for Shaun, but I hadn’t considered it “love,” simply because I feared that I would say it accidentally when I didn’t mean to. Apparently, that wasn’t stopping me.

We were sitting at the island in the kitchen, and I was silently eating my toast. He was staring at the bowl of fruit, absentmindedly spooning cereal into his mouth.

“So, what’re your plans for the day?” I asked awkwardly, breaking the silence.

“Oh, Mase and I were gonna go look at new boards, you know, for the Open. You can come, if you want,” he offered, a little half-smile on his face.

“I’d love to, but I can’t,” I told him honestly. “I’ve got my last appointment today. They’re checking how it’s healed, and if it’s good, I may be ready to go.” I smiled. “Molly’s coming over around ten thirty to pick me up.” I glanced at the glowing numbers on the stove and sighed. “Which is in half an hour. I better get ready.”

“I should go meet Mason,” Shaun said, putting his bowl in the sink and grabbing his jacket off the chair. “Bye, Case,” he continued, coming over and kissing my hair. “Good luck at the doctor’s.”

I sat there for a moment, surprised that he had just shown me affection in a manner that he hadn’t for a while.

I went into my room and changed, throwing on a pair of baggy white sweatpants and an orange v-neck t-shirt. I ran a comb through my hair quickly and didn’t bother with any eyeliner. I heard the door open and I went out to the entryway, watching Molly throw the key I lent her onto the table by the door.

“Hey, Casey,” she said with a wave. “You ready to get that thing off your leg?”

“I’m not sure if I can yet,” I told her. “But if he says I can get it removed, I’m gonna be doing my happy dance. We’ll have to go meet Shaun and Mason to celebrate. You know, surprise them.”

“You didn’t tell Shaun about the possibility that you may get it off today?” She watched me closely as I made it down the stairs from my porch.

“I said that I might be ‘ready to go.’ I wanted to… yeah, I wanted it to be a surprise.” Really, I thought, I didn’t want him begging me to go boarding when he got home. I’m not ready for that yet.

“Can I tell you something?” Molly had assisted me with the crutches – putting them in the backseat – and was getting in, sticking the key in the ignition as she did so.

“Always, Mol. What’s up?”

“I’ve noticed Shaun hasn’t been as… Shaun-ish.” She paused. “You know what I’m trying to say?” There was another pause as she pulled out onto the street. “He hasn’t been his usual, hyperactive self. And I was just wondering if something had happened between the two of you.” She glanced at me quickly, gauging my reaction. “You don’t have to tell me if you don’t wanna.”

Shit. It’s visible, I guess. The tabloids are gonna have a freakin’ field day, I thought angrily. “No, I’ll tell you, I don’t care.”

She pulled up at a red light and stared at me expectantly. “So…”

“I kind of told him I loved him accidentally. And it made everything awkward.”

“Did he say it back?”

“No,” I said with a sad sigh.

For the rest of the ride, she continued to press for answers. I answered all of her questions, albeit reluctantly.

“Well, that certainly explains things.” She pulled into the lot, parked, and turned to me. “Listen. Shaun’s really… never had a girl like you in his life before. Nobody he’s dated has ever understood the amount of time snowboarding takes. Nobody’s ever shared his passion or dedication. You don’t yell at him for being immature. You’re the yin to his yang. He loves you, Moose, even if he isn’t aware of it.”

“But…”

“Listen, I’ve known him for a while. He’s smitten. He’s never been good at handling relationships, so just be patient. He’ll come around.”

I just prayed Molly was right.