Our Heat Is Gone

“I can’t believe this.” I said to myself hoping no one would really hear. I was looking out into the scene surrounding me. Numerous tents that contained many merchandise, several stages set up with crew members putting the finishing touches, an endless number of buses all parked in a neat line, die hard fans starting to pile in the venue. Warped Tour. I was a part of it this year. Not exactly a part of it in the way that I would be performing for the summer. I was there for support.

“Well you better believe it babe.” His voice said back as I felt his arms wrap around me and his lips placed a kiss onto my cheek. I was hoping no one would hear me, but he certainly did. I was here for him.

My apologies, I didn’t introduce you to each other. The guy who just wrapped himself around me was my boyfriend. Let me introduce you to Cameron Leahy, lead singer of The Downtown Fiction.

What’s our story? He didn’t find me exactly. I found him. After my grandma had passed away, I did what I said. I didn’t take her advice because I didn’t need that one. I stayed in Arizona for a few more months. I studied for as long as I could take it while being there. Yes, I dropped out. I’m not proud of it, but I wanted to take a break so then I packed up and just decided to travel. Somewhere along the way I ran into Cameron. I ended up staying with him too. My mom? The last time I saw her was before she moved back to Surrey. That’s right, she moved back. She didn’t have me around because I couldn’t take Arizona that well anymore as I thought I could and she certainly couldn’t as well. I couldn’t blame her. She spent a lot of years there especially with grandma. She knew that I dropped out and wasn’t approving, but she knew that I would continue as soon as I came to my senses. She even met Cameron once before she left. She approved and that was all that mattered to me. Max and the others? They had no idea that I dropped out of college. They had no idea I was spending my life on the road with a new guy in my life. They had no idea about Cameron and I didn’t plan on letting them know. I never forgot about them. I pushed them though to the back of my mind. I hadn’t talked to Max in a couple of months either. I felt bad, but I didn’t have any guts to phone them. I couldn’t especially with the way Josh and I ended.



My body jolted a bit when I heard the strong vibration of my new phone against my nightstand. I was sleeping and the sound woke me up. My heart raced from the alarming sound. It wasn’t until I reached for the cellular device to answer it, the voice that responded to me, made my heart stop for a millisecond.

“Hello?” I said groggily. I peeped an eye open to check the time and staring back at me in bright red numbers was 3:45 AM.

“What the fuck, Lexi?” The phone slipped from my fingers and into the crook of my neck as I heard that familiar voice. My eyes popped open and I was now wide awake. It was Josh. “Lexi? Answer me, dammit!” I heard his yelling as I tried to regain grip on my phone.

“Hello?” I said as I put the phone up to my right ear.

“What the fuck?” He asked again. Clearly he was angry.

“What are you on about, Josh?”

I heard him sigh heavily and started: “Really, Lexi? Really? A fucking letter!”

I closed my eyes and tried to find a way to prepare myself. I knew it was stupid to end it like that. I knew he would want to talk about it. I knew he’d be so angry.

“I just-” I started, but I couldn’t finish myself.

“This is truly pathetic. So much for four fucking years! I don’t even know you. Why can’t you just wait for us?”

“I can’t!”

“Why?”

“Because I don’t want to go back to Surrey.”

“Why not? This is your home!”

“No it’s not. It’s your home. This is my home. I can’t go back there. There is no point!” As soon as the conversation started it had soon come to an end as soon as the words that slipped out of my mouth fell I instantly wanted to take them back. I didn’t mean them at all. I was just so stressed out I wasn’t even thinking anymore. It was the same day I had asked my grandma for advice. It was the same day I saw my mom run out of the hospital room to cry. It was the same day I decided I wasn’t going back. It was the same day that Max was disappointed in me.

“There’s no point?” Josh repeated quietly.

I groaned into the phone and said: “No. That’s-I-I didn’t mean that.”

“I don’t know who you are.”

“I’m so sorry, Josh.”

“So this is the end of you and me?”

I couldn’t even reply anymore to him. I stayed on the line thinking of what to say and hoping he would say something, but soon after I heard the line go dead. He hung up on me.



That was basically the last I’ve ever heard of Josh. I continued to talk to the rest of the guys a few months after that. Max being the longest I kept in touch with. He heard about what happened because of Josh’s big mouth. Max yelled at me, but then we got over that and now we just haven’t spoken anymore. I felt bad, but it’d be weird to just start picking things back up. What if I just moved back and had taken my grandma‘s advice? What if I did wait for Josh? What if? I couldn’t think of doing that or the what if’s anymore. I was here in America on tour with my boyfriend. He was completely different from Josh. Cameron was more blunt about things and he liked to just do whatever he wanted not even needing permission. He led his life risking everything and not taking no for an answer. Back in Surrey I needed all sorts of protection from my surroundings and I thought of the consequences a lot. I had fun, but here I never worried so much as I did back in Surrey. I didn’t have this dangerous side standing next to me. It was a thrill and that was what Cameron Leahy was to me. He was what I needed. I had to move on and he changed my life. He gave me this new wave of energy and I liked it.

“You alright, Lex?” Cameron asked with concern breaking my thoughts. He started calling me Lex. Ever since then I wasn’t even referred to as Lexi anymore. The ‘I’ in my nickname dropped. I looked up and smiled reassuringly at him.

I nodded and replied. “Yeah, of course I’m alright.” I turned around in his arms and wrapped my arms around his neck and his settled around my waist. “I’m going to be spending the whole summer with my incredibly amazing boyfriend surrounded by great music, people, and fans. What more could I ask for?” I added and smiled. He returned my smile and leaned down to press his lips against my own. I smiled against his lips then kissed back. I pulled him in deeper and his tongue was introduced to mine in a matter of seconds. I felt his fingers grip into my sides tighter and I sighed through my noise trying not to moan in public. Clearly, I didn’t have a problem with any public display of affection, I just didn’t think it was necessary to make noises in public. Is that weird? Oh well.

As I pressed my body even closer to Cameron’s he pulled away shortly groaning in disappointment. I looked up at him sort of confused. He looked down at me and pressed out foreheads together looking into my eyes.

“As much as I’d really love for that to go on further, I need to help the guys set up for our set.” He explained to me.

“Fine, but you owe me.” I said biting my lip knowing that would drive him insane on the inside.

He closed his eyes tightly and bit his own lip, trying to resist it. I giggled at his reaction and pulled away from his embrace. “Go on. I’ll catch up with you later. What stage are you playing on again?” I asked before I made my way towards their bus.

“Hurley. Don’t be late.”

“I won’t. I promise.”

“Later on after the signing we could walk around and meet up with a few bands, yeah?” He suggested.

“Sounds like a plan.” I said and I gave him one last peck then we went our separate ways.

I was excited for this tour. I’d been on tours in the past with the guys back in England all around Europe and even a couple around the states with Cameron, but this one was something else. I’d be living a show all day for the next two and a half months. I was excited to meet new bands, re-unite with some as well, even seeing Cameron’s band fans. Even more that he was with me. What about those what if’s? I didn’t really need to think about those anymore. I could see that right now I made a good decision about staying in the states.