What to Do?

“I’m soooo fuckeeed”, Kaylie groaned
“Yeah, I know”, I said winking at her.
“Not what I meant Stephanie!”, she playfully hit my arm.
“Hey hey hey. I don’t want a cat fight!”, Jake joked and put his arms around Kaylie and kisser her. I rolled my eyes.
“Get a room”, Justin said playfully, wrapping his arms around my waist pulling me to him.
“Shut up and let’s go home”, I groaned and dragged my legs to the car. It’s good that it was like, midnight here, and no paparazzi around. Or else I would’ve cried. I swear.

“We’re homeee!!”, I called out. We ended up just going back to LA, since our San Diego concert whatever was cancelled.
“Finally!”, I heard Vee yell.
“They’re here?”, I heard Nate.
“No shit, Sherlock”, Vee said, coming into view.
“Best friend!!!!”, I yelled and ran towards her, hugging her.
“Su-fo-cating”, she said.
I mumbled a sorry and let go. She instantly smiled and hugged me again.
“Much better”, she said.
“I missed your ass girly”, I said.
“I missed your… never mind”, she said. We both laughed.
“If you guys are done having a lesbo moment, I should get a hug from our princess”, Nate said.
“Nate baby!”, I yelled and jumped on him.
“Haven’t been home for more than a few minutes and you’re already jumping me? In front of your boyfriend?”, he joked.
“I’d jump you any day, any time baby”, I said and kissed his cheek.
“Hey, get off my boyfriend!”, Vee yelled.
“Ok Ok, gosh.”, I smiled and got off Nate, and went over to Justin.

We decided for plain old Chinese take out. Why? I was tired of Italian food. Italian pasta, French bread. And chocolates. And ugh! So, here’s the bad-for-your-health Chinese take out. Hey! It’s good, except for the MSG, but its so good.
“How was your honeymoon? I mean, vacation?”, Vee joked. I hit her arm playfully.
It was just me, Vee and Kaylie in my room. The boys were downstairs, having “guy bonding”.
“Ehhh, it was fine. Jake and Kay here almost broke up”, I rolled my eyes.
“What?! Why?”, Vee asked wide-eyed.
I rolled my eyes. “Alexa”, I simply said, and Vee looked at me confused.
“How the hell is Alexa in Mi-…. Ohhhh…”, she said realizing it. I just nodded.
“Let me guess, you made a scene at their restaurant?”, she chuckled.
I laughed. “How’d you know?”, Kaylie asked.
Vee shrugged. “Steph always does”, I laughed harder.
“You know me too well”, I said and hugged her.
“Group hug!”, Vee shouted. Kaylie quickly joined us. And after a few seconds the boys joined us too.

“Hey, it’s a girl’s group hug!”, Kaylie growled
“Yeah”, I growled too.
“You guys ruined it”, Vee said crossing her arms
“Aren’t they so cute when they’re mad?!”, The three guys cooed at the same time, then laughed.
I smirked at the girls. “Well, we’re about to get so damn adorable”, the three of us growled. Their eyes widened and made a run for it. We just stayed laughing. We were too lazy to go after them.

It’s been a few months since we got back from our tour, I’ve been focusing on my career and entertaining more. I’m going back to school in 4 months. I’ll be taking nursing. Why? I’m not so sure… Right now, I’m with Vee while Justin went off to his grandparents and I couldn’t go because I had lots of things to do. I had concerts all over the place, and it’s just crazy.
“So, how you holding up Stephy?”, Vee asked.
“I’m used to it, I mean, It’s our job, isn’t it?”, I shrugged.
“Not what I meant.”, Vee said.
I looked at her curiously.
“I’m your best friend, of course I’d know”, she said.
I looked at her curiously again.
“I know you saw Matt. He told you he loved you still. I heard”, Vee said.
I laughed. “Seriously Vee?”, I asked
She gave me another look.
“Look, I love Justin. I really do. I loved Matt. Past tense Vee. LOVED”, I said again.
She shrugged. “Ok. Then this shouldn’t be a problem then?”, she asked nervously.
“What?”, I asked, I’m confused.
She was looking straight ahead, past my head. I slowly turned around, my eyebrow raised.
“Hey steph”, he said scratching the back of his neck.
I turned back to her, “Jessica Vee Sanders! I fucking hate you”, I growled, low enough so that only she can hear me.
She mouthed a ‘sorry’ to me.

I turned back to the person standing in the doorway awkwardly. I walked up to him, and stopped about 3 feet from Matt. “What the hell are you doing here?” I asked
“Steph, listen, I’m not expecting anything from you, I just want to be friends”, he said quickly.
I hesitated. But then again, what’s the harm?
“Fine”, I said.
He looked up at me and smiled. “Really?”
“You want me to change my mind?”, I raised an eyebrow.
He chuckled. “Same old Mich- Stephanie”, he quickly corrected
I smiled. “You can still call me Michelle, you know?”, I said.
“Really?”, he asked.
I raised an eyebrow. He laughed.
“So, can I get a hug?”, he asked nervously, spreading his arms.
I looked at him, and down at his eagle-spread arms.
“I guess not then”, he mumbled and slowly put down his arms. I smiled.
“Are you kidding! DUH!!!”, I smiled and hugged him.
“I missed you”, he said.
“I missed you too”, I said.
“Oh yay!! The gang is back on the road!”, Vee squealed.
“I’m still gonna kill you, you know Sanders?”, I growled.
She just made a whatever motion with her hand and rolled her eyes. “Get out of the way, I want a hug from Matty Boy”, she said. I realized that Matt still had his arms around me. I blushed and took a step away from him.
“MattyBoy. I missed you dawg!”, Vee squealed and hugged him.
“I missed you Jess”, he chuckled.
“Oh gosh”, I said.
“What?”, they pulled away form each other and looked at me.
“Jake and Nate”, I said.
“Oh crap”, Vee said.
“What?”, Matt asked confused.
“They hate your ass”, We both said in unison.
“Shit”, Matt said.

“Vee! Stephanie!” I heard Jake yell.
“Shit Shit Shit!”, Vee and I panicked.
“It’s not like we can hide him!”, I said
“You have a backdoor?”, Matt asked.
“Genius”, I told him. “You haven’t changed one bit”, I smiled.
“Hey, enough of that getting caught up thanggg”, Vee panicked. “We have to get him out of here to keep his ass alive”, she said.
“Right. Save Matt’s fine ass”, I smirked.
“You love my ass”, he smirked back.
“I’m jealous of it”, I laughed.
“Hey! Go! I’m gonna go distract them!”, she said and ran out of the room.

“Come on. I want you alive, because you need to explain yourself”, I said and quietly made our way to the back door.
“Damn Mitch, this is on hell of a house”, he said.
“Yeah, and if you and the guys do get along, you’ll be living there”, I said pointing to the guesthouse.
“That’s your guest house?!”, he whisper-shouted.
I laughed. “That’s where I’ll hide you dumbass!”, I said.
“Stop talking about my ass”, he joked.
I rolled my eyes and looked around to make sure nobody’s around. When it was clear, We tiptoed towards the house, and opened it quickly.
“Stay here, I’ll be back when I get rid of them, then we can talk”, I said.

I walked back to the main house in a casual manner, and calmed myself down then walked towards the voiced.
“-is that?”, I heard Jake.
“Mine”, Vee said.
I walked into the living room where they were all standing around Vee. “You don’t have a bag like that”, Nate said
“Hey guys, what’s-“, I cut myself off when I saw Matt’s bag on the coffee table. I mentally cursed. How stupid. Ugh!. “up?”, I finished my sentence.
“Who’s bag is this?”, Jake asked.
I sighed. “Who’s is it?”, Nate asked.
“it’s Matt’s okay? Now don’t be mad!”, Vee gave up, giving Nate the puppy dog eyes.
“Loser” I mumbled
“Matthew’s here?”, Jake asked. Surprisingly calm.
“Yes, but please don’t kill him”, I said.
“That fucking asshole. Where is he? The guest house?”, Nate shouted.
My eyes widened. “How does he know?”, I mumbled.
“Best friends”, Vee said, and shrugged.
“Don’t be shrugging! Matt is about to get killed before I find out the story!”, I shouted and ran towards the guest house.
“YOU ASSHOLE!”, I heard Nate shout. I quickened my running.
I got there, and saw Nate smiling.
“WHY DIDN’T YOU SHOW UP SOONER?”, he asked.
“I had to get my mom to say yes”, Matt said while giving him a weird look.
“Somebody explain?, I finally said.
Nate just gave me a wide grin.
“You planned this! All of you!”, I shouted. “Fuckers”, I said and stormed back into the house despite people calling me.

I locked my room. With the keylock, and the keypad mechanical lock.
I rain upstairs and locked the door there too.
A few minutes later, there was a knock on my door.
“Go away!”, I yelled.
“Aww, Stephy boo, I’m sorry”, Nate said.
I stood up from my bed and opened the door. “How’d you get through the other door?”, I asked.
He smirked.
“I know you got a door trap made from the garage, down to your game room. The other door, which is your mirror.” I gaped at him.
“How’d you know?!”, I asked.
“Simple. I was leaning against the mirror, and then when I stood up straight again, the mirror snapped open”, he said.
“Don’t tell anyone. Specially my mom”, I said. It was my escape route.
“Of course not”, he said. “Damn, no wonder you can get out of the house so quickly”, he said and chuckled.
“Shut up”. I said. Then I realized. “I’m still mad at you”, I said and attempted to close the door.
“I’m gonna tell your mom”, Nate said.
“Crap”, I said and left the door open, jumping on my bed.
“We wanted you guys to be friends again”, I heard him say
I glared at him.
“Who else knows about the trapdoor?”, I asked.
“Just me. I left them earlier while they tried to figure out your lock code”, he said.
I smirked. They’d never guess.
“Finally!”, I heard Jake yell.
Nevermind. They did. CRAP! THEY DID! Ughhhh!!!! I am DEAD meat.
I heard footsteps coming up the stairs.
“Why is your lock code my birthday?”, Matthew asked.
“I was too lazy to change it”, I said. It was the truth. I liked him before Justin, and I was just too lazy to change it.
He just nodded.
“We’re sorry”, they all said in unison.
“Awww! You guys are so adorable! You sound like little kids!”, I cooed.
“So, we’re fine now?”, Jake asked.
I bit my lip and nodded. “yeaaap!”, I said and jumped on him
“Hey you little player. You jumped Nate, then you jump me?”, Jake chuckled.
“Can I be next?”, Matt winked.
I raised an eyebrow.
“You aint off the hook yet bestie”, I said and got off Jake, and walked downstairs to the livingroom.
“You have one hellufa room Mitch”, Matt said in awe.
“I know, thank you, thank you”, I said and chuckled.
“So, tell me why you left out of nowhere”, I said when we were all seated.
“You wont believe me”, he said.
“I’ll believe you. I just wanna know”, I said.
“My mom wanted us to leave”, he said.
“Without saying bye to me?”, I asked. But sounded more like a statement.
“Yeah”, he said, rubbing the back of his neck.
“I believe you”, I said, looking straight into his bright green eyes.
“You do?”, he said.
I shrugged. “Why would you lie anyways?”, I asked
“I wouldn’t”, he said staring right back into my eyes.
Wy the hell is my heart beating so fast? I asked myself. I mentally slapped myself. YOU HAVE JUSTIN! I looked at the floor. “Y-yeah”, I said. I cleared my throat. “Exactly”, I said more confidently.
There was tension in the room. Awkward tension. I stood up.
“Who wants dinner?”, I asked.
“Do you really need to ask?”, they all said. We all burst out laughing.
“I’m gonna order applebee’s”, I said and went for my phone.

I looked at my new Blackberry torch. Shit. 5 missed calls from Justin and 3 new text messages. STILL from Justin. I feel guilty now.
Why?
Now you decide to come back?!
Ehhh, yeah.
Do you still like him?
Matt?
Yeah
Ehhh… We did like him first, so I guess there will be a part of us that will still like him.
I guess, so if I let him stay here tonight, that wont be cheating?
Where did cheating come from?!
What? I was just wondering
It’s not like you’re kissing him and stuff
Ehh.. I guess you’re right.
I always am..

I am going insane. I’m talking to myself. This is crazy.
I called applebee’s and decided to call Justin back.

“Hey baby, you okay?”, he asked.
“Yeah, I’m fine babe. Sorry, Matt’s here”, I said.
“Matt?” he growled.
“Yeah. Sorry, We were getting caught up”
“Oh, it’s okay. Everything’s fine?”
“Yup, all good. I just ordered dinner”
“Cool, what are you guys having?”
“Applebee’s”
“Me too. Ryan and Chaz says hi. So do my grandparents”
“Say hi to them for me too”
A moment of silence.
“I miss you”, he said.
I smiled. “I miss you too. When are you coming back?”
“I stay here for 2 months. I have an east coast tour/concert thing”, he sighed.
“Oh right”
“I’ll visit every other week though. So, I’m visiting in 3 days”
“I miss you already though!”
“Stop whining”
“But I miss you”
“I miss you too”
“I miss kissing you”
“I miss hugging you”
“I miss your eyes”
“I miss your lips”
“I miss you”
“I miss you too”

“Gosh! The boy gets it, food’s here”, Jake chuckled.
I sighed. “I gotta go now baby, and you should get sleep, its 9 there, and you need your sleep”, I said.
“If you don’t wanna talk to me, it’s fine”, Justin mumbled. And said something about somebody being here, I’m not sure, so I just brushed it off
“Oh gosh Justin. Stop playing. You know I’d talk to you all night if I could. But you need sleep baby”
“I guess. I love you steph”
“I love you too Drew. Goonight babe”
“Night. I wish you were beside me though”
“I wish you were beside me too. I’ll see you in a few days then”
“Can’t wait. Love you”
“Love you too, bye”
“Bye”…. “Aren’t you gonna hang up?”
“No, you hang up first”
“You hang up first”
“No, You”
“You!”
“You!”
“You!”
“You!”
“FIneee”, I gave up. It’s like this every night.
“Love you”
“Love you too”
“Love you more”
“Okay”, I smiled. “Bye” I hung up and sighed.
I walked back down stairs where they were all in front of the TV watching Glee. I rolled my eyes and laughed.
“Seriously guys?”, I asked.
“Hey! They’re good!”, Matt said.
I raised an eyebrow. “That’s me”, I said.
He looked down blushing. “I miss your blushhh!!” I cooed, sitting down to eat my meal.

“Hey guys, it’s getting late, I’m gonna get going”, Matt said.
“Going where?”, I asked.
“Hotel”
I raised an eyebrow. “You’re kidding”
He raised an eyebrow at me. “Where would I sleep smarty”
I rolled my eyes “This place is huge, you can pick wherever”, I said, looking back at the TV.
“No, it’s okay”, he said.
“No. Sit”, I said.
“No, Mitch I r-“
I cut him off. “Sit. Relax. Feel at home”, I said.
He obeyed. “Wow”, Nate said. Jake and Nate chuckled
“What?”, Vee asked.
“He still obeys her”, Jake said.
We all laughed.
Two movies later, and at two o’clock, Nate went to sleep with Vee and Jake fell asleep on the couch. I was on the floor, leaning against the couch, and Matt was sitting on the couch.
“You still awake?”, he whispered.
“Yeah”, I croaked. I cleared my throat. “Yeah”, I repeated. He chuckled. Awww. I miss that chuckle. It’s his ‘that’s funny, but I'm tired’ laugh. I stood up and sat next to him.
“You’ve succeeded”, he said.
I looked at him, and titled my head to the side, and he knew I was confused. He let out another chuckle.
“Your dream. It came true”, he said.
I nodded.
“I remember when you were just dreaming of this room”, he said, looking around. Though it was dark, our eyes already adjusted, so you can see the outline of the things inside.
I laughed. Remembering the night I told him about my dream room. “I remember”
There was a few moments of silence.
“You know I did love you, right?”, he asked breaking the silence.
“I was 14”, I said.
“I was 16”, he said.
I smiled. “Dork”
“Seriously Steph”, he said.
I sighed. “Matt, don’t mess this up”, I said.
“Did you love me?”, he asked.
I thought about it. “I’m not sure. I probably did, but I’m sure I liked you a lot”, I said.
He nodded. “Sorry”
I knew what he was talking about. Both leaving and the topic. “It’s okay”, I said.
“Best friends?”, he asked.
He held out his hand.
I raised an eyebrow and chuckled. I shook my head. He put his hand down and looked at me confused.
I hugged him. “Best friends don’t shake hands”, I whispered.
He laughed and hugged me back.

“Oh my gosh. That looks so wrong”, Vee said sleepily.
I stood up and grinned at her.
“You’re a dork even if you’re half asleep”, I said, getting blankets.
“Ehh, I'm gonna go back to sleep”, Vee said and walked out the door. I ran upstairs to get three blankets. I walked back downstairs and put one on Jake.
“What was with Vee?”, Matt asked.
I rolled my eyes. “She does that sometimes, walks in here, says a few sentences then goes back to sleep”, I said and chuckled. He laughed with me.
I gave a blanket to him. “You can sleep here if you want, or down at the gameroom, there’s another bed over there”, I said.
“And you?”
“My room, of course silly”, I said, and smiled. He laughed.
“You’re silly” I pouted. “Come here”, he said patting the spot next to him. I sat down and curled up beside him like I used to, and I STILL do with nate and jake, sometimes. When they’re not with their girlfriends.
“I missed my best friend”, he said.
“I missed my best friend too”, I said and drifted off to sleep.