Just To Be With You

“I can’t believe you’re getting married in two days. MARRIED! Fucking married!” Clarkson yelled in disbelief as he put his lips to the beer bottle that was in his hands. He had to yell as it was crazy loud in the Harrah’s pool club. Oh, did I mention we were in Atlantic City? They dragged me out for my bachelor party that was full of alcohol and scantily clad women. No strippers, at least I prayed there wouldn’t be. I set the ground rules on that one, but the chicks walking around might of well have been.

“Screaming it repeatedly won’t make it less true,” I laughed as I took a quick swig of mine.

“No, I don’t mean it in a bad way. I just can’t believe it. You’re the first one of us to get married. I love Sarah, man, I do, but you’re the first one of us to make the vow to swear off new pussy for the rest of your life. Are you sure about this?” he teased.

As I looked around the club and watched the drunken fools scattered about hitting on slutty women in the sleaziest ways possible, I shook my head. “Yup. I’d trade this in a million times for her,” I responded without looking at him, my eyes still watched the spectacle in front of me. “Besides, she’s fucking fantastic in bed.”

“I could only assume.” He responded with a hint of jealousy in his voice. As much as the guys would never admit it, I knew there were somewhat envious of what I had with Sarah. They wanted to have what we had with someone of their own.

We stood with our backs against the bar and observed as not only strangers, but our friends hit on girls and rubbed their bodies against them on the dance floor. It was funny to see them make complete asses out of themselves, wasted and trying to dance—my friends are white boys—they aren’t exactly giving moves like Usher.

I saw Travis through my peripheral and turned to see him come back into the club from the Casino.

“Did you get cleaned out?” I asked as he took a spot next to me and tried to get the bartender’s attention.

“Lost five,” he answered stoically.

“Thousand!?” My eyes popped open as I almost spit out my drink.

“No you jack ass. Hundred. I decided it might be time to take a break.”

“Ya think?” I laughed in response. He hated losing and I knew he was pissed.

“What were you playing? Poker?”

“Nah,” he shook his head. “Roulette.”

“Ah,” I nodded my head. “I’ll go play with you in a little bit if you want to go give it another go.”

“Fuck yes!” he answered like I should have already known. “I’m not going home out five hundred. This place will not get the best of me. Plus, Courtney will never let me hear the end of it.”

“She’ll be pissed?”

“No, she’ll bust my balls for months.”

I laughed at the thought of that. “Couldn’t say I blame her.”

“Funny,” he said annoyed without even looking at me. “I can’t believe your wedding is in two days. It’s been a long time coming.”

“Yeah, brace yourself, you’re next.” I glared at him with a grin. “Are you sure you’re ready?”

“Of course I am. But this is your bachelor party. We’ll talk about my wedding when the time comes for mine.” He looked at me and then down at my beer as he ordered a scotch. “You need another round?”

“I’m good, thanks. No.” I politely declined.

“Are you sure? It’s your last hurrah before the big day and you don’t even seem the slightest bit buzzed.”

“Cuz I’m not,” I answered matter-of-factly.

“What’s the matter Z?” Travis seemed almost upset, not because I wasn’t trashed, but because he felt that he planned this trip and I wasn’t having a good time. “Are you not enjoying yourself or something?”

“Isn’t it obvious?” Clarky poked his head around from the other side of me as he finally reengaged with the conversation. “He misses his girl.”

“You miss Sarah.” Travis redirected the statement as a question towards me, but in such a way where he wasn’t exactly asking, he was telling me as he nodded his head before taking a sip of his scotch.

I swallowed and took a breath before calmly answering him. “I do. Of course I do.”

“It’s only one night Z. You’re only going to be away from her for one night.”

“Yeah,” I said softly, pretending it wasn’t a big deal. Truth was, I hated the fact that I was away from her. One night being without her was one too many. After everything we’d been through, after everything she’d been through and the things I worried about regarding her and her safety, I appreciated every moment together that much more. Any time apart left me with a void.

“Where is she tonight? Didn’t Courtney take her out?” Travis asked.

“Dude her bachelorette thing was last weekend, don’t you remember?” We were paranoid as shit all night when they were out with a few of their friends. I didn’t sleep a wink until Sarah stumbled through the door. They didn’t go out overnight, just went to a show or something that let them dance and drink like they were part of it. I knew she had fun but her being out with guys around drinking just didn’t sit well with me and I spent most of the night with a pit in my stomach.

“No, I know her party was last weekend, I’m saying didn’t the girls go out or something. I thought Courtney said they were.”

“No, not that I know of. They brought stuff to the reception hall today and then got last minute things done tonight. I think they’re enjoying their last night of normalcy at Sarah’s watching Friends like they were teenagers again.” God, she was adorable. I lost myself in the reasons why I fell for her without noticing Clarkson being seduced onto the dance floor.

“Looks like we lost another one,” Travis nodded in the direction of the mashing bodies as a girl who’d clearly been around the block a few times was molesting Clarky. “And I thought your brother was the attention whore.” Not far away my brother Jordan was making out with some random girl. It was so dark I couldn’t even see what she looked like, and truthfully, I didn’t care.

“I’m not going to lie Trav, I slightly feel like this bachelor party was planned for everyone except me…and hopefully you too as you’re marrying my girls best friend.”

“We can go gamble, we don’t have to be here in the middle of the orgy.”

“Someone has to babysit our buddies.”

“Oh they’re just having a good time. As long as everyone leaves together tomorrow then I’d say it was successful. Let’s have one more round and head to the casino.”

I nodded my agreement and turned towards the bar to order my last drink. When I ordered my beer and was waiting for my round I felt someone rubbing my bicep. My heart started to pound because I knew it wasn’t Travis.

“You look lonely. I’ve been watching you for a while, seems like you could use some company,” a brunette in a short, tight dress and lots of make-up purred at me. She was standing so close I could feel her bolt-on’s against my arm and her waist pressed against my hip.

“I’m good,” I turned away from her and tried to distance myself as much as possible as I prayed my beer order would come up quicker.

“Come on.” She clearly didn’t get the hint as she moved closer and threw herself at me. “Just one dance.”

My beer finally slid across the counter and I turned to walk away in hopes that my new little friend wouldn’t follow. Of course I wasn’t so lucky.

She quickly paced next to me and grabbed my arm. I thought she had balls a little too big to be so abrasive. “You’re Zach Parise,” she purred. I froze at the sound of my name. I didn’t want anyone to recognize me, or my hockey-playing friends, but I had a feeling someone was going to. I finally snapped back into reality when I felt her hand creep up under my shirt and graze my abs. “If you want it, I promise I won’t say no,” she said with a breathy tone as she reached up and put her lips to my ear. “I’m staying in room 1083.” Her seductive attitude came across as desperate as she threw everything she had at getting me to take her upstairs.

I was so uncomfortable and frozen in the moment that I had a hard time finding my breath. Sarah’s face ran through my brain and my adrenaline finally kicked in. “Get the fuck away,” I spat at her as I pushed her hand off me and stormed back by Travis. “I’m out of here,” I yelled as I placed my beer on the counter. “Have fun with the guys, I’ll see you when you get back tomorrow.”

“Woah, it’s after midnight. It’s going to take you hours to get back home. It’s one night, relax man.” Travis grabbed my shoulder trying to find my reasoning. “This is all to celebrate you, why can’t you just enjoy it? What happened?”

“No,” I shook my head. “This is for you guys. My celebration is in Manhattan right now. If I’m going to celebrate getting married, I’m going to celebrate with her. I know it’s just one night, but the reason I’m marrying her is because I don’t want to be apart, even for one night. I’m going home to Sarah and away from this bullshit. If you were smart you’d do the same.” I turned and walked swiftly out of the club without saying a word to anyone or turning back.

It was nearly four in the morning when I walked through the door. To my relief Courtney wasn’t on the couch and the television wasn’t on. All was quiet, dark, calm. I practically ran through the apartment to Sarah’s room where I found her alone and asleep, beautiful as an angel.

I knelt down in front of her bed and smiled as I tucked a blonde tress behind her ear. I kissed her on her forehead before leaning in and kissing her softly on her lips. She began to stir and take deep breaths as she woke from her slumber.

“Zach?” she asked as her eyes flickered open. “What…what are you doing here? What time is it? Are you okay?”

“Almost four.” I answered in almost a whisper. “I couldn’t stay there anymore. I had to come be with you. I’m marrying you so that we spend as much time together as we possibly can and I don’t need a night out with my single friends to mourn what I’m saying good-bye to. Hell, I’m running to what I’m about to welcome with open arms.”

A genuine smile spread across her face and gave me the confirmation I needed that I’d made the right choice in coming home. “I hope that doesn’t make me too much of a pussy, that I couldn’t even stay at my own bachelor party.”

“No, you aren’t. It makes you stronger than anyone else, not weaker.” Sarah ran her hand down my cheek and looked into my eyes.

Looking at her there with the moonlight dancing across her face gave me butterflies. I had my arm wrapped around her waist and felt my heart start pounding harder in my chest. I moaned as I pressed my lips to hers and swiftly lifted the t-shit she was sleeping in, one that belonged to me, over her head and disposed of it on the floor. I crashed my lips down to hers hungrily as I quickly mounted myself in-between her legs. My fingers traveled down her long neck and smooth skin until I held her breast in my hand. I gave it a squeeze and felt her push her crotch harder into mine. My lips made a trail down her cheek and neck before replacing my hand around her nipple and giving it a nice flicking with my tongue. As I continued licking and nibbling at her nipple, satisfied by the little whimpers and moans she was making, I ran my hand down her flat stomach and under the waistband of my favorite pair of boxers she was sleeping in. My middle finger went between her smooth lips and ran over her clit into a seeping pool of her juices. She was so fucking wet that I thought it would make my rock hard dick explode on the spot but as I moved my body lower on the bed I lost myself in the pleasure I was giving my fiancée.

My tongue made a path down her stomach as I crawled backwards on the bed and slid off her boxers in the process. I threw them on the floor with her shirt and lifted her legs placing my hands on either hamstring. I kissed the inside of each of her thighs and dove my mouth into her moist, warm pussy. I licked her clit; sucked on her sensitive nub and heard her screams get louder each time I’d make contact. I lifted my eyes to see her arch her back and reach for the headboard, prompting me to separate her lips with my tongue and take her erect bud in my mouth, sucking on it like a piece of hard candy. Every noise she made, every flinch, turned me on.

As I continued sucking and licking at her most sensitive area I quickly thrust two fingers into her without warning. She sucked in air so hard I thought she was going to explode. I curled my fingers up inside her as I tongue and finger-fucked her into obliteration. She moaned and yelled, grabbed the bed sheets between her fingers and scratched my back so rough with her other hand I was positive she drew blood.

Her body gyrated on the bed and I felt the familiar tightening around my fingers as I continued stroking and thrusting them inside her. “Ohhhh my Goddddd,” she moaned as she almost reached her climax. She moaned louder and louder which encouraged me to suck her harder. I felt her juices explode in my mouth and her pussy clamp around my fingers so tightly that for a moment I couldn’t move them. Her screams filled the air and she flicked at her nipples as her orgasm overtook everything else in the world.

“Fuck me Zach. Please,” she panted. “Go inside me.”

I couldn’t oblige fast enough. I undid my belt and unzipped my jeans as they fell around my ankles. I pulled down my boxers and grabbed my painfully erect dick before I was completely free of the material I was trying to dispose of.

“Zach, come on,” she panted now begging

I moved my hand to the base of my cock and guided it to her slippery, warm pussy. I slid in with ease and went as deep as I could. She felt fucking incredible I wanted to come right then, but then again I never wanted this feeling to go away.

I put all my weight on my knees and held her bouncing tits in my hands as I pounded her against the headboard. She demanded I go deeper, begged me to fuck her harder. I ran my hands from her creamy tits down her sides and lifted her hips off the bed and into me for better grip.

I felt Sarah’s body start to quiver beneath me and saw her mouth fly open in ecstasy as her second orgasm hit her hard. As she came all over my dick it was more than I could stand and I exploded my seed deep inside her body, riding out the feeling as long as I could.

I looked down at the goddess beneath me and fought to catch my breath before pulling myself out of her. “This was so much better than Atlantic City,” I gave my breathy confession with a crooked smile.

“I’m not complaining,” Sarah responded, her body slick with sweat and her chest rapidly rising and falling as she too regained her breath.

I rolled over next to her on the bed and wrapped my arms around her as I looked into her eyes. “I love you. I can’t wait to marry you.”

“Well,” she looked over at the clock at back at me with a smile. “Technically, we’re getting married tomorrow.”

“You know you’ll never have to worry about me, right? Some married guys step out on their wives without conviction and make excuses for why it’s okay. I’m not one of those guys Sar. If that’s what I was going to do, I wouldn’t get married. I want you. I want a family. I don’t need anybody else. You’re more than I deserve and through all the hardships we’ve faced together I’ve always known that the reason I was putting up such a fight was because I was fighting like hell for my wife.”

I saw tears stream slowly down the sides of her face and wiped them away with my thumbs.

“I’m sorry for…” Sarah started but I put my index finger on her lips and hushed her.

“Don’t. There’s no need. I already forgive you, it’s in the past, it’s gone.”

I leaned in to kiss her before she playfully pushed me away. “Brush your teeth there superstar,” she teased as she kissed me on the tip of my nose with a precious giggle.

*****

As I stood at the alter waiting for Sarah to finally walk through those doors and emerge as my bride in her white dress my mind flashed back to our rehearsal dinner the night before. It wasn’t crazy, but it stirred up more hype in me as I was unable to wait for this moment. I spent the night away from Sarah at her request, but talked to her through texts all night. I hated being apart but it was a tradition she wanted to keep.

“I’ve already compromised so much, just give me this,” she requested with that vibrant sparkle in her eye that took away the ability for me to deny her what she wanted.

My last night as a single man was long. That’s the simplest way to put it. I stayed with Travis and my brother and took it easy as I reminisced to them about how we’d gotten to where we were. I thought back on how I felt the first time I ever laid eyes on her, how I loved her immediately, how much it killed me to know I’d hurt her. The was no questioning my love for her and my commitment to what we had. There was more than one occasion where I almost bolted to her place but I knew she was a traditional girl—it was one of the things I admired about her most—and she was right, she had compromised a lot of her morals since we’d fallen in love, so that kept me put in my place. That, and Travis guarding me like a hawk.

I wondered what she was doing, whether she was sleeping or freaking out, with Courtney or anyone else. I knew her place was transformed into bridal central and I was forbidden to see anything, but I couldn’t help but picture how she was acting on her last night as a single girl. If I knew her, and I did, my questions were pointless. She wasn’t freaking out, well, not in a bad sense anyway. She was in her pajamas, a ball of emotions, trying to pretend she didn’t have to grow up and unable to sleep due to the excitement of knowing that in just a few short hours she was going to become my wife.

The morning of the wedding, amidst the chaos and preparations I had arranged for three-dozen white roses to be delivered to her apartment where she was getting ready. There was a card attached which predictably told her how much I loved her and how I was counting down the minutes for her to walk down the aisle and become my wife. I’d told her every sentiment a thousand times before, but that morning it just seemed right.

I wasn’t nervous and I wasn’t scared. I was anxious to put my ring around her finger and have hers around mine, and now being in this moment with the music playing and those who mattered most to us watching, was overwhelming.

The doors finally opened and Sarah stepped out with her father in her beautiful white dress. Seeing her for that first moment literally took my breath away and I had to fight back tears as I watched her walk down the aisle towards me beaming. No one else mattered, I forgot there were hundreds of people watching us. All I saw was Sarah in her princess gown, her angelic blonde hair grazing her shoulders in soft curls with a sparkling tiara and gorgeous, pristine smile standing in front of me.

“You’re perfect,” I mouthed to her causing her to turn red.

The ceremony went by in a blur as we said our vows and I held her hands in mine. I fought back tears as I slid her wedding ring on her finger and she slid my wedding band on mine. When we were finally pronounced husband and wife I pulled her to me and kissed her so hard the audience erupted with whistles and hollering.

A highlight from our wedding that I will remember forever was our first dance. I know I won’t remember every moment from the day but that’s a special memory I will always keep with me. I felt like we were the only two people in the world. I held her close to me and told her repeatedly how much I loved her and how beautiful she looked.

“You’re my Cinderella. I love you, and I love that you’re my wife. Finally, you’re my Mrs,” I whispered to her in our moment alone though an audience surrounded us. “And you’re sooo beautiful.”

“I love you. I love that you’re my husband. I can’t believe this day,” she squealed. “It’s surreal Zach. It’s just more than I could have ever hoped for.”

“Is this the dream wedding you grew up fantasizing about? Did I make your dreams come true?”

Sarah looked up at me with tears glistening in her eyes. Her jaw dropped slightly before she continued. “Zach, you’ve made every dream I’ve ever had come true. You are my dream come true. We could have gotten married in a paper bag and it would have been a fairy tale because you would have been the one I was promising myself to for the rest of our lives. You’re so perfect, so wonderful, I’ll spend the rest of my life trying to figure out why you picked me.”

I felt my own tears run slowly down my cheeks as I leaned down to kiss her. “Sarah, you were the easiest, best choice I’ve ever made.”

As our song came to an end and our guests applauded I didn’t want to let go. I kept my arms around her as long as I could and kissed her one last time before walking to our private sweetheart table with my new bride.

I sat with her all night and never left her side whether we were at our table or on the dance floor. I couldn’t keep my hands off of her for more than a few minutes and it suddenly hit me that for the first time in a long time I was nervous about making love to her. She was in this perfect dress and her genuine happiness and pureness was on full display that I was afraid of ruining it.

Once we got back to our honeymoon suite I slowly peeled the gown off her body though when she stepped out of it, it still kept its shape. I think part of her plan was to slip into some lingerie but we didn’t make it that far. My overwhelming love for her spoiled any chance of a typical wedding night protocol.

After she stepped out of her dress I ran my fingers over her perfect skin and kissed the back of her neck, moving her curls to one side of her head. With a little guidance from my bride, I removed her bra and extra garments, showing special attention to every crevice of her body. I ran my hand down her shoulder and arm until I held her left hand in mine and looked her wedding band perched behind the engagement ring I had given her. My heart swelled as I ran my finger over the rings letting it set in that we were now one.

I turned her around so that we were facing and kissed her hard as she undid my tux. My husband gear soon flooded around her dress and we crawled naked onto the bed. My heart was pounding and my breath was shaky as I slowly exhaled.

“I love you Sarah,” I breathed out as I slowly entered her.

Sarah wrapped her arms around my neck and pulled me close to her so that her lips were grazing my ear. “I love you.”

I got goose bumps as I felt her fingertips running up and down the muscles in my back and down my arms. I held myself up on my arm and looked her in the eyes as I made love to her, as my wife, for the first time.

When I couldn’t control myself any longer and finally came inside of her I felt like a new man. I didn’t want to stop being near her, stop touching her. We held each other, wrapped up together in bed and I kissed her shoulders, neck, forehead—any part of her body I could put my lips on.

“For the rest of our lives I’m all yours, Zach. I’ve always been yours,” she said softly as exhaustion began to set in. She kissed my chest and nudged herself into me even tighter than she had been. I couldn’t have loved her more if I tried.

“I’d do anything Sarah, give anything,” I said as I swallowed back tears and ran my fingers through her hair. “Just to be with you.”

I leaned down and kissed her passionately one last time on the lips before losing myself and falling asleep in her arms. When the sun rose the next morning we’d officially had spent our first night as husband and wife and be jetting off to enjoy our honeymoon…and the rest of our lives together.