Forced Affection

Sitting in the safety of my room on the bed I wasn’t really aware of time or anything, all I knew was it had been two and a half weeks since seeing my family and my homesickness was at an all time high. I had discovered a box of pictures under the bed that was full of photo’s that I wasn’t sure how they got there. There was photo’s from when I was younger to recent parties I had been to with my friends. I wasn’t even sure of how they got there until I reached the bottom of the box where Rae’s neat scrawl had written a message

Hey Babe,
Bet you miss us now!! Well you have no idea how much we are missing you, well I assume we would be missing you after all I wrote this the day before you had left and well I had just told you to ‘grow up and stop being a baby!’ but I don’t think that is very important anymore!! So I convinced Leo to take this, well actually I convinced his friend (Drew-hottie much?) to make Leo take these photos and put them some where you would find them but not straight away. I hope you liked them; honestly I have been stealing them for so long that your mum was sick of me going through the photo albums making copies!! So you’re probably thinking if I was such a good friend why didn’t I put these in a album...well I thought it would give you something to do, after all there isn’t much you can do there (I’m guessing). Anyway I really miss you (already) and me and the girls (Billie and Avery) are already planning on visiting you-it is just a matter of convincing everyone and shit. But anyway Hun-love you long time and I dare you to get Deus tattooed onto your forehead or something that would be funny. Love you,
Rae.
PS. Billie wants you to know that this was her idea-I merely convinced the guy, got the photos, wrote the letter and organised everything!!
PSS. Avery wanted me to write a sentence about her...she misses you as well!! Creative aren’t we?? Love ya!

There was no point hiding it. I missed the girls something shocking, my eyes glassed over, my lip quivered and the tears spilt all down my face. I openly cried for what felt like the first time in so long. I sat on the bed surrounded by photos from better days wishing I could go back to then but knew it would never be the same.
Knock knock, came from the door. I quickly dried my eyes and pretended I was ok.
‘Yeah, come in’ I said getting up off the bed and making my way to the door.
‘Hallie’ Ashlea squealed coming running into the room.
‘I want you to meet my awesome as cousin-Jensen. Jensen this is Hallie my super cool friend’ Ashlea said with a massive grin on her face not even realising that I had been crying.
‘We’ve already met Ash’ I said smiling at Jensen trying to remain polite when all I wanted was for them to leave so I could cry some more.
‘Oh still it was great seeing you again’ Jensen smiled and kissed my hand. I pulled back and walked away.
‘I don’t feel well.’ I muttered walking out to the chairs that were on the balcony. I didn’t stop at the chairs but went straight to the railing and lent on that as the cool air blew my hair and made me feel relaxed.
I hoped they hadn’t followed but I didn’t need to turn around to know that they had. Ashlea came and stood one side of me when Jensen stood the other side.
‘Really? Why what is making you un well?’ Ashlea asked.
‘Not sure maybe it was something I ate’ I lied hoping they would disappear.
‘ASHLEA’ a shout from down stairs came.
‘That was Thomas. I should probably go see what he wants’ she said quickly leaving just Jensen and I on the balcony.
As soon as she was gone Jensen turned around and lent on the rail facing the room ‘Not feeling well are you? Or just homesick?’ he whispered into my ear.
‘Please, what gives you that impression?’ I covered up leaning further away as the large front gates opened and Leo’s red Ducati came flying in.
‘Well there were the photos everywhere and well your eyes seem red and doubt your checks were dry before we knocked’ he finished rubbing his thumb on my check.
‘Don’t. I don’t appreciate you touching me and I would much rather you leave me alone now’ I say walking back inside I didn’t want Leo to see us. What happens if he had and already got the wrong idea?
‘Why? Worried Leo might get a bit jealous? He is known for his fits of rage; after all I’m sure you know about them’ Jensen trying to make me doubt myself.
‘Yes well, there is the door. I’m sure you know how to use it as well’ I replied opening it.
‘Now that seems a bit rude. Is that any way to treat a guest?’ Jensen asked as I saw his eyes sparkle with excitement.
‘You’re not guest of mine. Now could you kindly leave?’ I asked again.
‘Why you don’t appear to be busy? After all where is your hospitality?’ he asked leaning on the door frame.
‘In the kitchen now piss off’ I hissed hoping he would get the idea I wanted to hide the photos and stuff before Leo got up here but it was all too late.
‘Yeah Mitch? And how is England going in the World Cup?’ Leo asked walking up the stairs with Martin following him carrying a box in his hand.
‘It is Martin. Leo you should know that I’ve been married to your Aunty for 16 years!’ Martin sounded flabbergasted.
‘Yeah but there was just so many. So England? How are they going? Italy still going to beat them this year as well?’ Leo mumbled reaching the top of the stairs and staring at me red faced and Jensen looking guilty.
‘Leo, please let’s not discuss that horrible loss...’ Martin tried.
‘Yeah that’s nice. Anyway I want to spend some time with my fiancé’ he began as he walked straight up to me picked me up in one arm and kissed my neck.
‘Talk to you later lads’ he said winking as he closed the door on both Jensen and Martin’s face. Leo placed me down, walked over to the sun bed put the box down and took of his jacket. He walked over to the bed and saw the photos. It only took one glance at me for him to realise I had been crying. He didn’t touch anything but rather walked into the bathroom and closed the door. I went back to the bed and looked through the pictures until I had packed them all back up. When Leo walked back out of the bathroom we both spoke at the same time.
‘Thanks for-‘ I began.
‘So you-‘ Leo started.
‘You go’ he said again when we had both stopped talking.
‘Thanks for getting rid of Jensen. He wouldn’t leave’ I muttered looking back down at the box of photos.
‘No problem he was only doing it to piss me off. Anyway I see you found the photos then’ Leo said nodding to the box as he took a seat on the other side of the bed.
‘Yeah. I found them. So...’ I tried. I had no idea how everything was going.
‘I looked through them the other day when you were out with Ashlea. Oh and I bought you a mobile since I was suppose to get you another one any way’ Leo said handing me one from his pocket.
‘Thanks for that. So will you be here tonight?’ I asked.
‘Yep. It is the triplet’s going away dinner and then the others are here as well so I’m suppose to make an appearance and play happy family’ Leo responded.
‘Ahh fare enough. So will it just be us or is there any other guest?’ I asked staring off into space and refusing to look at him.
‘Um yeah, there is Drew, his mother and sister coming for dinner as well. His father is out of town or some shit’ Leo said lying down on his side of the bed.
‘Oh is that Skye?’ I asked casually.
‘Yep. Ash warned you then?’ Leo smirked.
‘Yeah something like that’ I replied trying not to get into an argument.
‘So I’m not trying to push my luck but...’ I began once it had grown quiet between Leo and me.
‘Cortez then don’t. I’ll stay here tonight, Friday night and Saturday we will go shopping for those stupid rings. We will go out for dinner again with more family members Saturday night and Sunday it will be family day thing that we have to attend. Then that night I will hopefully be back at my place and you can have your bed back’ Leo snapped.
‘How did you know that was what I was going to ask?’ I snapped.
‘I guessed’ Leo snapped.
‘Lie’ I challenged lying next to him.
‘Whatever. Any way I’m going home for a while I’ll be back later’ Leo said getting up.
‘Isn’t this your home’ I challenged again.
‘No. It will become one day but until then I meant my apartment.’ Leo responded grabbing his jacket and leaving the box sitting on the sun bed.
‘Will I ever see your apartment?’ I questioned not really wanting the answer.
‘Not if I can help it. Oh here is your dress for tonight’ Leo said changing the subject as he hit the lid of the box.
‘Right. Thanks for that. I wasn’t aware it was formal?’ I said following him as he walked out of the room down the stairs. Yes I realised how obsessive I seemed.
‘Hmm well it is. Word of advice there will be an argument and shit so best to have a couple of drinks beforehand. It brings down the um tension levels. Anyway there is some drinks in my office. Here is the key’ he finished turning around and handing me the key as I almost ran into him as he suddenly stopped.
‘Ok thanks, but I won’t go in there. That would be too awkward’ I said handing him back the key.
‘Alright then. I’ll see you later on. Be ready by 7’ Leo finished as he reached the bottom step and went towards the front door.
‘Wait Leo.’ I called quietly as I jumped the last three steps. ‘I thought dinner was here?’ I questioned not realising that Martin, Penelope, Jensen and Arianna where all sitting in the room.
‘It isn’t. It was suppose to be but Arianna wants to show you off. Now I picked the dress so go check it. If you don’t like it umm tell someone who will get you another. Now I have to go Cortez. Anything else?’ Leo questioned as he turned around and put his hand on my elbow.
‘No Parker there isn’t’ I answered still not aware that Arianna and that were listening to everything that was happening and watching our every move scrutinising us. Leo smirked at me and my attitude change as quickly as it was happening.
‘Good’ he muttered as he kissed me on the lips. There was hardly time for my response. I kissed back and almost straight away it was over. He turned to leave and I went straight back upstairs only then realising that Arianna and everyone was there. Arianna was beaming proudly and Jensen seemed shocked. I was probably just as shocked but hid it well.
‘Oh sorry I didn’t realise you were all here’ I said leaning on the railing of the staircase.
‘Yeah you or Leo’ Martin responded sourly.
‘You two confuse me’ Penelope said as I smiled and went back up stairs. As if Leo didn’t know, it was probably just an act I concluded.

Back upstairs confined to my room I was shocked at the dress Leo had picked out for me. It was a light cotton material that he had picked out, the dress hugged my boobs tightly pushing them up and making them rather obvious to the world, that then had a halter neck around it. It then falls straight down to just above my knees. The dress was black with a red and blue outline of patterns on the right side of it. It was a very pretty dress, admit tingly a bit tight and a bit short but if Leo had chosen it, then it didn’t matter, I suppose I was able to get away with it.
I decided that the dress was ok so I wouldn’t tell anyone about it. I was still confused had Leo kissed me because he knew there were people there or not? That seemed to be the thought that plagued me most.

I fell asleep not long after and woke up with a bang on the door.
‘Hallie dear, I need to talk to you’ Arianna's soft friendly voice came waking me up from my horrible dream.
‘Mmmm’ muttered getting up and opening the door. From the look on her face I could automatically tell something was wrong.
‘Arianna?’ I questioned, feeling a lump rise in my throat. I felt sick and I still wasn’t sure what the news was.
‘Come down stairs first sweetie then we shall talk’ she tried as she led me down stairs. I began hyperventilating. I knew something was wrong and I was freaking out. What was so wrong?
Down stairs were Penelope and Martin along with another woman and a younger looking female with blonde hair, huddled together unaware of what was happening. Ashlea had a tear streaked faced and Craig looked very concern. I couldn’t see Nick or Thomas and I couldn’t spot Leo and at that moment he was the only one I wanted.
‘Arianna please? What is wrong?’ I asked again.
‘Take a seat honey’ Arianna said forcing me to sit next to the girl with blonde hair. As I sat I wanted this feeling to go, I had a massive lump in my throat and I wanted to be sick, where was Leo?
‘We should wait for Leo. He shouldn’t be much longer’ Ashlea mumbled before having a few more tears fall down her face. At least I knew it wasn’t him.
‘Hallie listen we got a phone call’ Arianna tried to begin as she held both my shoulders and knelt down in front of me. As soon as she said phone call I knew it wasn’t them, it was me it was my family that was in pain and it was something devastating that had happened for me.
‘Hallie there was an accident’ Ashlea said coming forward and rubbing my hair.
‘Please just tell me’ I mumbled as my eyes went glassy but I refused to cry.
‘Your Uncle Mason and Alex were out on a trip. They didn’t...’ Arianna tried before looking at Craig for help.
‘No. No. No’ I muttered over and over again as I started rocking back and forwards. Ashlea pushed the girl from next to me and sat down to hold me. I was rocking in her arms, not wanting to hear the rest. I just wanted to go back upstairs and pretend this wasn’t happening.
‘Shhh baby, listen it was a trap, they were lured in and unaware of what was happening. Mason was...was...’ Ashlea trailed off.
‘Killed.’ I mumbled as I stopped rocking and looked up at the people around me. From their faces I knew it was true and there was no point in trying to get comfort from them. They weren’t my family.
‘What about Alex?’ I sobbed loudly. Not my brother, please not him I couldn’t lose Mason and Alex. They meant the world to me. I had shared so much with both of them. My very first hunt was with my dad, Uncle Mason and Alex. Even though Mason had married into the family he had always been like a brother to my dad and became even closer after Aunty Clary had died. We were a very tight knit family and something like this would ruin us. What about Calvin and Luka? First their mum, now their dad.
‘Alex was very badly injured. He isn’t dead but, well he is in a comma’ Craig spoke for the first time coming up and rubbing my back. The tears finally fell, the bank broke and they came rushing out. I didn’t want this, I shouldn’t cry in front of these strangers and I sure as hell didn’t want to go through it by myself. The front door opened and Leo came in.
‘Leo’ the blonde girl from next to Ashlea squealed. I assumed she was Skye. I was too upset to feel jealousy or anything. The tears kept falling and I couldn’t try and hide them now. The pain was inevitable. My uncle was dead and my brother was in a comma. I wanted my family, I wanted to be held and comforted and told everything would be ok. I wanted someone to wipe my tears away and make everything better. Leo ignored the girl and walked straight to me. Taking me from Ashlea he stood me up and held me in his arms. I cried openly into his shoulder and the snot from my nose went onto his shirt, it wasn’t my finest moment and I couldn’t care less. I needed this. I needed my family.
‘Shhh Hallie. I’m here. I’ll look after you now’ Leo mumbled into my ear as he held me tightly and rubbed the back of my head. I couldn’t care less about anything else I just wanted my family.
‘Don’t worry Hallie. I got ya’ he said lifting me up into his arms holding me like he would on our wedding night and carrying me up stairs.
‘Leo’ I cried into his neck. ‘Please make it all go away’ I mumbled.
‘I would if I could Hallie, I really would’ he whispered back kissing me on the top of my head. He opened the door and he took me to the bed where he placed me down and sat next to me. While I laid there and cried, he rubbed my back and tried to soothe me.
‘I’ve never cared about anyone like this before’ Leo whispered as I opened my eyes.
‘Don’t do this not now’ I replied insensitively. As much as I wanted to hear those words I wanted to cry and not feel guilty, right now I only cared about myself and Alex, Leo wasn’t important not at the moment.
There was a gently tap on the door. ‘Leo is she ok?’ Ashlea's asked sliding into the room and making her way to the bed.
‘Yeah, she will be’ Leo said getting up and walking away from me. I knew it was my rejection that was making him leave and yet I felt I couldn’t do anything more about it. I let out another giant sob and cried more and more until I fell asleep to the comforting pats from Ashlea and her soothing voice trying to mend the pain.

I heard her let out another sob as I left the room, it honestly hurt walking away from her. How could I be so selfish? I tell her I care about her when she finds out the news of her uncle and brother? I should have been here to be the one to tell her. I shouldn’t have left her in the first place. I will track down whatever caused this and kill them with my own bare hands. This time near her had changed me so much, I longed for her and no other woman could feel the hole when I’m away from her. It sure as hell isn’t love, in fact it might just be hate-but still I feel for her and the last thing I want is for anyone to work out how important she is too me. Imagine the damage that could be done is someone realised I cared for her? I wouldn’t let that happen I had to protect her even if she doesn’t want it.
As soon as I get down the stairs I see that nearly everyone is acting normal, it isn’t as if Martin or Penelope know Hallie and feel her pain or even knew Mason or Alex. Craig is doing what he does best, organising, and getting everyone ready. ‘I’ve called Jack, I’ve sent our best doctors over to help and I’ve got men out looking for whatever did this. They won’t get away with it. I think it is best we keep Hallie secret a bit longer I think this was some sort of attack to lure her out’ he thinks silently as he looks me in the eyes, clearly he is telling me this for my own good. I nod to acknowledge that I got it, but I knew it wasn’t enough I want to find these things and kill them myself. I can still hear Hallie’s sobs even though they have lessened and I can hear her heart rate decreasing, her breath intakes getting further apart and I know that sleep is coming. It wouldn’t be long until she was out and I would go back up there to wait for her to wake up and help her through this hell all over again.
It was the first time in my life that I have never ran from a crying woman, but rather to her. When my mother’s sister died and I was 6 I saw my mum cry, I was the only one home and I ran. I couldn’t comfort her I had no idea what to do, so I left. I high tailed it out of here as fast as I could and never looked back. It was no doubt that day that the wedge started to form in between Arianna and me. When Ashlea came home and she was 14 crying I left again, she came in the door tears running down her face, dress ripped and I left, didn’t even stay around for mum to get to her. I was gone so quickly that she probably didn’t even understand that I had read her mind, saw the guy had raped her and went straight after him. I was 18 and only home for a meeting with dad to finalise stuff that we were taking care of. I saw exactly who the guy was that hurt my little sister and went after him. I found him just as my dad found me, I can’t say it was a bonding time, but the guy was killed and that was all that matter. Never would I let another man touch my little sister. I couldn’t face her tears ever again.
I guess there had been countless amounts of times that girls cried around me, when I ignored them, left after having sex with them, not calling them, seeing them down the street and forgetting there name. Yeah there had been many times and every time I ignored tears, can’t say they ever worked for me so I never really ever dealt with them. Now that I think about it I don’t think I had ever cried, I mean off the top of my head I can’t remember one time that I had actually cried.
‘If you leave her now, don’t ever bother showing your face around here again’ an angry thought broke through to make me look up, of course it was Arianna and I don’t believe I had ever seen her look at me with that much hate in her eyes before.
‘I came down here to get a drink for myself and Hallie. Where are the tissues kept?’ I asked my mother icily. She handed me a box of tissues and I skulled a glass of blood. There was a satisfying taste to it; I needed it to deal with the anger and desire around here.
‘Leo please look after her. She needs you’ my mother whispered as I filled a glass of water for Hallie. I didn’t know how to respond to that comment, I knew my mother had always underestimated me and had little faith in me-but couldn’t she see that Hallie had changed me? Surely I wasn’t keeping that secret hidden as well as I had hoped.
‘Leo’ Drew called form the waiting room where everyone was. He wanted to help I could get that much from his thoughts and well his mother, Janine was just as concerned-she had always been more of a mother to me than my own. Even though they had always gotten along I knew deep down that Arianna despised her just a little. As much as I wanted to go out there I didn’t want to face Skye, she was jealous of Hallie and me ignoring her. She wasn’t thinking anything in particular but remembering the time I took her virginity. Yep she was playing a harsh game and Hallie wasn’t even aware of this. I wanted so much to ignore her even though I knew I couldn’t.
I pushed the door open and went straight to Drew. I wish he knew how much of a hussy his sister was, but then if he knew all that I doubt we would be friends after what she and I had done. Yep that made me smirk, no doubt Skye would think it was about her and it may have been, but it wasn’t what she thought it was.
‘Do you want me to try and calm her down?’ Drew asked me, I ignored him trying to relax me.
‘Drew fuck of with it. No it hasn’t worked before and well at a time like this she is so defensive it isn’t funny. So nah mate don’t worry about it.’ I say before turning my back. ‘Leo don’t ignore me. You know you want me. I saw you smirk. We could leave and no one notice. You can do whatever you want to me. Bet that slayer wouldn’t let you’ I knew it was Skye’s thoughts and before I could control myself I snarled at her, a deep throat snarl that left Drew glaring at me. Yeah often this happened. I went back upstairs to our room; Hallie was asleep as I expected she would be.
‘Ashlea, you can leave if you want’ I say placing my hand on her shoulder.
‘Leo, she needs you now. Don’t hurt her please’ Ashlea pleads with me.
‘Ash, she has already hurt me. I could never do it to her. Not now’ I respond sitting down next to her.
‘You aren’t coming tonight?’ Ashlea asked knowing damn well I wouldn’t put Hallie through that.
‘No baby sister, I’m going to stay here with Hallie and look after her. I don’t want to put her under the media’s scrutiny tonight’ I say letting Ashlea stand up and walk out of the room. ‘I understand you will look after her, but I need you both as well’ Ashlea thought walking out of the room leaving me alone with my future wife.