Immortality Meant Never Dying
II
The rain was still falling. The drops were falling on her face, washing the cuts clean from the blood that had collected there. She lay on the ground without moving, without feeling the cold rain on her body. She couldn’t feel her skin going numb with the cold of the rain. A pair of eyes lit from the trees a bit from Carmilla. The thing the eyes belonged to was moving closer like a predator circling its prey. The ‘animal’ was in a few seconds right by Carmilla’s side. He bent down and looked at her face with pity in his eyes. He picked her up easily, even though she was limp and very hard to carry. He carried her into the forest, and tried not to hurt her more than she had already hurt herself. He carried her a little further into the forest, to a place where the wind was calmer and the rain had a hard time getting through the leaves. He laid her down on the cold and half dry earth. He could feel the little blood she had left under her pale skin, her heart fighting to provide her body with the little blood. He didn’t want to give into the temptation of her soft skin and her unconscious state. He felt the urge - the temptation to drink the last blood drops in her veins, but he resisted. He didn’t want her to die. Not such a beautiful being. He looked at her pale face. She had almost no colour left in her cheeks and her lips. He looked at the cuts that he could easily heal with a few drops of his own blood, but he didn’t do anything about them. He could feel that her heart was giving up on her. She had already lost a lot of blood and wouldn’t survive the night without more blood. A blood red tear appeared in the corner his eye, and dropped down on Carmilla’s cheek. The cut there was instantly healed, and vanished. Not even a scar was left behind. He bent down and kissed her on her forehead. After the kiss, he bit his own wrist and then tried to make her drink the blood. He almost forced her mouth to open so that she could drink the life-giving blood, just to make her survive. She made choking noises, but he helped her swallow the blood. He couldn’t stand to see his dear Carmilla on the edge of dying. It hadn’t been his plan to turn her yet, but now he had to. He realised to his luck she was drinking by herself, slow, but she was drinking. The seconds passed them she became stronger and all of the sudden they’re both thrown away from each other. She began to feel pain, great pain. It was as if she was awakened from her unconscious state to fell the pain of her actions, of her death. She screamed and crumbled. She was fighting for her life, even though she knew the battle was already lost.
Suddenly it was all over, all the pain was gone. The emptiness of her mind was the only thing left in her body. She felt no heartbeat and had no pulse. The emptiness screamed to be filled. She sat up and looked at the man that brought her to the life of the living dead. His looks frightened her. He was a noble. She could see it from his clothes. She noticed that her vision had changed. He had dark eyes and long silken black hair, tied with a leather thong at the nape of his neck. She knew him. She knew his name, but was afraid of saying it out loud. She looked at him with eyes filled with fright. She didn’t know what to do, most of all she wanted to run away from him, disappear from the monster, away from the forest and away from all of her sad memories. The stranger was the first to say anything after a long silence.
“Don’t worry, don’t be afraid, Carmilla, I won’t hurt you” his voice was calming and she could feel the effect of it immediately. “I’m Gerard and you’ve probably heard about me before…” he looked at her and hoped that she wasn't too afraid. Carmilla looked back into his eyes. She hadn’t noticed she wasn’t breathing anymore.
“Yo-you know me?” she said, her voice was still human, but he knew that it would soon become irresistible if she wanted it to be so. She was afraid of him and couldn’t really make any words slip past her lips.
“Think back, my dear, you know deep down, who I am and that I know you well” Gerard moved closer to her, taking every chance he had while she didn’t see him moving closer. He wanted her as he had before. That beautiful creature was his and she didn’t even know it yet. He smiled. Carmilla tried to think back, but pretended she didn’t have any memory left. She knew him.
“I’m sorry but I don’t know what you’re talking about. I don’t know you” Carmilla looked away from his predatory eyes. She didn’t even dare to look at him. She knew that he would know that she was lying. His entire attitude was too much for her to handle. She had seen him before yes, but her mind had repressed that particular memory.
“Carmilla I know you remember.” He looked at her with piercing eyes. They were piercing her mind, looking for the truth. He couldn’t find it no matter how hard he tried. “I know that you remember me, I know you remember that night at your parents’ house, where I was the uninvited guest…” he smiled so bloody sweetly. He knew that she would rather forget that evening. Carmilla tried not to look at him, but something in her voice compelled her to look at him and his sweet smile.
“Where your parents invited me inside and introduced me to you. I know that you remember my name!” Carmilla looked at him, she remembered, she remembered that night where he came on to her. She didn’t want to remember. Her father had only encouraged their meeting, just because he was noble by heritage.
“Gerard, why did you do this to me? Why me?” Carmilla looked down at the earth, her voice was weak and still much like mortals’ voices. It was almost like she just admitted defeat. Gerard smiled once again, his teeth showed this time. It scared Carmilla to look at, she looked down again.
“I only did this to you because you were on the verge of dying, and you’re too valuable to me.” He looked at Carmilla. She was still looking down.
“No, I’m not valuable, not to anyone, I’m nothing, and I’ve lost everything worth possessing. I’ve lost everything, even the will to live, and you just made sure my suicide attempt failed.” Carmilla looked up at him. A pair of red tears was running down her still faintly rosy cheeks, she refused to remove them. She didn’t want to remove the tears. “You ruined my only escape” she whispered.
”Your damnation would come whether you succeeded in your attempt or not. God won’t let little girls into Heaven who killed themselves. No easy way to salvation there, my dear.” He said. His voice suddenly annoyed. Why couldn't she accept? Why did she have to deny even knowing him, even though he knew she already hated him.
Suddenly she stood up and began to run, she didn’t know towards what, but she just had to try and escape. Gerard was too fast for her. He grabbed her arm, no hard that she could feel she lost the use of her arm, hand and fingers a short second. She couldn't get away.
“Release me!” she screamed.
“Be quiet! No one can hear you. There are no mortals out here in this weather. There are only the birds and the other animals, which I’m sure you already made run away with that fit.” His voice was a bit harsh. “Relax, I won’t do you any harm, and if you run away now, you won’t find shelter for the sun that’ll kill you if you stand in its bright light.” His voice was a bit nicer now. She looked at him, she knew that no one could hear her, but it was worth the try. Her fear of Gerard was painted in her face. Who knew what he would do to her? Gerard didn’t want to pay attention to her fear. He began to pull her with him, away from the forest to his own mansion. Carmilla followed reluctantly, she couldn’t get free of his grip even though she tried the best she could to get free from him.
They arrived at the gate to his Mansion. She looked at it. It had a cemetery gate feel to it. She liked it. For all she could see he had taste and now he had her in his firm grip.
“Carmilla, you must promise me to stay in your coffin till tomorrow night. Deal?” Gerard looked once again at her with his piercing eyes. She thought they looked more and more like an animals eyes. She nodded and they walked through the gates into the garden around the mansion. The mansion was placed in the middle of the grounds. Carmilla took her time getting all the impressions of the garden, looking at every tree and every bush. They moved to the door. Gerard opened the doors and revealed a hall. The hall was decorated in colours of reds and black. Carmilla had a hard time getting into her mind all the glory of the mansion. They walked in. Inside the mansion, he led her to a stone crypt where she could see the coffins lined up. She looked at them.
“Am… Am I supposed to sleep in one of those?” she asked, she hadn’t yet truly understood her reincarnation as a damned creature of the night.
“Dear Carmilla, you’re a living dead. Where else would you sleep?” he looked at her, he were close to giving up on her.
“This is your coffin,” he pointed at a black coffin with red silk on the inside. He then disappeared from to the room right next to the one they both were already in. Carmilla didn’t know what do to, should she lie down in that coffin? Or was one of her options to try to run away from this place? She turned around to find the way out only to see that the way out had vanished. She turned towards the door where Gerard had disappeared through, but that one was also gone. She turned towards her coffin. She didn’t really want to lie down in it, even though she didn’t really have any choice. The stone floor was icy cold and just the thought of lying there wasn’t at all pleasant to her. She decided to try and lie down in the coffin. She needed sleep. She could feel her limbs getting weaker. She knew the sun was rising.
Suddenly it was all over, all the pain was gone. The emptiness of her mind was the only thing left in her body. She felt no heartbeat and had no pulse. The emptiness screamed to be filled. She sat up and looked at the man that brought her to the life of the living dead. His looks frightened her. He was a noble. She could see it from his clothes. She noticed that her vision had changed. He had dark eyes and long silken black hair, tied with a leather thong at the nape of his neck. She knew him. She knew his name, but was afraid of saying it out loud. She looked at him with eyes filled with fright. She didn’t know what to do, most of all she wanted to run away from him, disappear from the monster, away from the forest and away from all of her sad memories. The stranger was the first to say anything after a long silence.
“Don’t worry, don’t be afraid, Carmilla, I won’t hurt you” his voice was calming and she could feel the effect of it immediately. “I’m Gerard and you’ve probably heard about me before…” he looked at her and hoped that she wasn't too afraid. Carmilla looked back into his eyes. She hadn’t noticed she wasn’t breathing anymore.
“Yo-you know me?” she said, her voice was still human, but he knew that it would soon become irresistible if she wanted it to be so. She was afraid of him and couldn’t really make any words slip past her lips.
“Think back, my dear, you know deep down, who I am and that I know you well” Gerard moved closer to her, taking every chance he had while she didn’t see him moving closer. He wanted her as he had before. That beautiful creature was his and she didn’t even know it yet. He smiled. Carmilla tried to think back, but pretended she didn’t have any memory left. She knew him.
“I’m sorry but I don’t know what you’re talking about. I don’t know you” Carmilla looked away from his predatory eyes. She didn’t even dare to look at him. She knew that he would know that she was lying. His entire attitude was too much for her to handle. She had seen him before yes, but her mind had repressed that particular memory.
“Carmilla I know you remember.” He looked at her with piercing eyes. They were piercing her mind, looking for the truth. He couldn’t find it no matter how hard he tried. “I know that you remember me, I know you remember that night at your parents’ house, where I was the uninvited guest…” he smiled so bloody sweetly. He knew that she would rather forget that evening. Carmilla tried not to look at him, but something in her voice compelled her to look at him and his sweet smile.
“Where your parents invited me inside and introduced me to you. I know that you remember my name!” Carmilla looked at him, she remembered, she remembered that night where he came on to her. She didn’t want to remember. Her father had only encouraged their meeting, just because he was noble by heritage.
“Gerard, why did you do this to me? Why me?” Carmilla looked down at the earth, her voice was weak and still much like mortals’ voices. It was almost like she just admitted defeat. Gerard smiled once again, his teeth showed this time. It scared Carmilla to look at, she looked down again.
“I only did this to you because you were on the verge of dying, and you’re too valuable to me.” He looked at Carmilla. She was still looking down.
“No, I’m not valuable, not to anyone, I’m nothing, and I’ve lost everything worth possessing. I’ve lost everything, even the will to live, and you just made sure my suicide attempt failed.” Carmilla looked up at him. A pair of red tears was running down her still faintly rosy cheeks, she refused to remove them. She didn’t want to remove the tears. “You ruined my only escape” she whispered.
”Your damnation would come whether you succeeded in your attempt or not. God won’t let little girls into Heaven who killed themselves. No easy way to salvation there, my dear.” He said. His voice suddenly annoyed. Why couldn't she accept? Why did she have to deny even knowing him, even though he knew she already hated him.
Suddenly she stood up and began to run, she didn’t know towards what, but she just had to try and escape. Gerard was too fast for her. He grabbed her arm, no hard that she could feel she lost the use of her arm, hand and fingers a short second. She couldn't get away.
“Release me!” she screamed.
“Be quiet! No one can hear you. There are no mortals out here in this weather. There are only the birds and the other animals, which I’m sure you already made run away with that fit.” His voice was a bit harsh. “Relax, I won’t do you any harm, and if you run away now, you won’t find shelter for the sun that’ll kill you if you stand in its bright light.” His voice was a bit nicer now. She looked at him, she knew that no one could hear her, but it was worth the try. Her fear of Gerard was painted in her face. Who knew what he would do to her? Gerard didn’t want to pay attention to her fear. He began to pull her with him, away from the forest to his own mansion. Carmilla followed reluctantly, she couldn’t get free of his grip even though she tried the best she could to get free from him.
They arrived at the gate to his Mansion. She looked at it. It had a cemetery gate feel to it. She liked it. For all she could see he had taste and now he had her in his firm grip.
“Carmilla, you must promise me to stay in your coffin till tomorrow night. Deal?” Gerard looked once again at her with his piercing eyes. She thought they looked more and more like an animals eyes. She nodded and they walked through the gates into the garden around the mansion. The mansion was placed in the middle of the grounds. Carmilla took her time getting all the impressions of the garden, looking at every tree and every bush. They moved to the door. Gerard opened the doors and revealed a hall. The hall was decorated in colours of reds and black. Carmilla had a hard time getting into her mind all the glory of the mansion. They walked in. Inside the mansion, he led her to a stone crypt where she could see the coffins lined up. She looked at them.
“Am… Am I supposed to sleep in one of those?” she asked, she hadn’t yet truly understood her reincarnation as a damned creature of the night.
“Dear Carmilla, you’re a living dead. Where else would you sleep?” he looked at her, he were close to giving up on her.
“This is your coffin,” he pointed at a black coffin with red silk on the inside. He then disappeared from to the room right next to the one they both were already in. Carmilla didn’t know what do to, should she lie down in that coffin? Or was one of her options to try to run away from this place? She turned around to find the way out only to see that the way out had vanished. She turned towards the door where Gerard had disappeared through, but that one was also gone. She turned towards her coffin. She didn’t really want to lie down in it, even though she didn’t really have any choice. The stone floor was icy cold and just the thought of lying there wasn’t at all pleasant to her. She decided to try and lie down in the coffin. She needed sleep. She could feel her limbs getting weaker. She knew the sun was rising.