Immortality Meant Never Dying

The following night

Gerard stood by Carmilla’s coffin as she woke. She was well rested even though she had had a hard time giving in to the sleep. The only reminder of the previous night was her unmistakeable thirst for blood and the red inside of her coffin. She didn’t remember much of all the things she had seen after she had been turned. She opened the coffin lid and looked up. She didn’t look at Gerard. She tried to avoid his gaze. She looked up at the crypts stone walls. They were gloomy and grey, almost sombre.

“Have you slept well my dear?” Gerard said. His sweet seducing voice broke the silence. Carmilla looked at Gerard, but didn’t answer him. She got to her feet and saw to her joy that the doors were back in their right places. She walked to the door that she thought led out of the crypt and opened it. She hesitated for a moment then began to walk out of the door. A few steps up the staircase she was stopped by Gerard.

“You’ll burn to ashes if you walk outside now. The sun is not gone from the sky yet.” he pulled her back into the room and held her still. A few minutes passed before Carmilla gave up on fighting Gerard. He was clearly stronger than she was.

“You’ll have to stay with me, before it’s safe to move out into the night…” Carmilla looked up at him.

“Why? Why do I have to stay with you? Why wont you just let me die?” the questions had been in the back of her mind ever since he had saved her from one death and led her into a new one.

“You’ll see…” Gerard looked at the door that hadn’t been closed. A few minutes passed before he continued. “We can go upstairs now. But you’ll have to stay with me. You have much yet to learn.” She didn’t give him a reply, but she followed him head down, silently and obediently.

They walked upstairs and Carmilla noticed the torch lights on the walls. She hadn’t noticed them that very morning, but she saw them now with new eyes.
“Is this your mansion?” Carmilla looked almost stunned the almost bare walls and on all the torches.

“Yes, this is all mine, this is my home.” He answered her and looked at her leading her up the stairs.

“This is one of the corridors to the grand ballroom. The one, in which we ought to throw a ball very soon…” He looked at her with a mischievous look on his face. He knew that the main reason to the suicide attempt was that she had to go to a ball to find her self a husband. Maybe it had been premature to say to her. Maybe he ought to have let her get used to the thought of having to be with him for a while. The moment he had stopped talking, he looked at her and saw the fear painted in Carmilla’s face. She didn’t like social get-togethers like that, and she really did not want to be near one, and especially not with him. He took his time looking at her every feature. He had the light from the torches on the wall. She had grown from the transformation she had been though. She had a more womanly figure than she had had when he turned her and met her the first time. If was as if the blood from him had finished what her body had started.

“But….” She started. She didn’t know what she should say more than that. There was no arguing with Gerard. She could feel that what he said was law when it came to his mansion. Gerard smiled and led her into the ballroom, and then further on out into the hall. He led her through the doors and ended up in the garden. Carmilla could see on the sky that the sun had only just left the sky. It was slowly getting darker. Gerard led her to a little quiet village, not far from his own mansion.

They didn’t meet a lot of people in the little village, and the people they did meet hurried past them. It was almost like every person in that village knew what Carmilla and Gerard were. They walked past them as far away from them as they could. Carmilla looked at them wondering, why did they do that? Did they really look that dead to them?

“Sorry… but… why are they running from us?” Carmilla looked up at Gerard with innocent eyes. She was afraid of his answer and his reaction to the question, she didn’t know why. Why did she feel that way now? She had loathed him a few minutes ago and now she wanted his attention.

“They know me. We can’t hunt here in this village…” he looked at Carmilla with a sweet smile. “We’re going to walk to the next village.” He looked up and looked at the people that walked past them with piercing eyes. Carmilla too looked at the people, but with pity, not hatred like Gerard. Gerard secretly kept an eye on Carmilla. Their mental link had been weakened by her drinking his blood. And yet, somehow, Gerard felt that the link was stronger than with any of his other childes.

“Then why haven’t they laid your mansion in ruins yet? They know what you are, don’t they?” she asked. Carmilla’s curiosity was getting on Gerard’s nerves, but he was patient.
“I am far too powerful for them to even try. They would rather keep a safe distance, even though they know that it won’t help them in the end. They fear me, us.” Gerard didn't look down on the ground at any time at all.

“I have a question…” she wavered a bit, she was afraid to ask him. “Why did you choose me as your bride? You know the time you visited us…” she asked. The question surprised Gerard a bit, but it was not to be spotted in his face, and even though he really wanted to answer the question, he stopped himself from it.

“We need to find you some new clothes. Not those big dresses that you usually walk around in. You’ll be easier to catch in those if you’re hunted.” He smiled. He looked at her torn dress. She hadn’t changed her clothing since she was turned. Blood spatters ripped fabric everywhere.

“But… what am I supposed to walk around in then? I can’t walk around looking like a boy… can I?” Carmilla wondered a bit why Gerard changed the subject that quickly, but decided to ask again later, when he was calmer.

“You can if you have to, but I can’t make you if you don’t want to. It’s mostly for your own good.” Gerard sighed. He never thought she would ask so many questions and be so annoying. If he had known he would never have given her the dark gift, but would have found another way of saving her life from hell.

“But can’t we get some of those light dresses, one that is lighter than the one I have on now? I plead you not to give me boys’ clothes.” She pleaded. She was whining worse than he imagined she would. Gerard sighed again.

”There’s nothing to do about it now!” he sped up a bit. He was tired of her questions.

“Come on, we need to get there and back before the sun comes up!” he said. Carmilla hurried after Gerard. Her torn and bloodied dress made her slow down and caused her a lot of difficulty while running. She looked up and saw that Gerard already was far in front of her.

“Wait, I can’t keep up!” she yelled. Gerard stopped and waited for her, but he was not happy about having to wait. He looked at her, and noticed her dress for the second time. She needed a new dress and soon. She was looking terrifying to the people in this village.

“Carmilla, hurry up! We don’t have much time. We need to be in that village before dawn. We’ll hunt there, but first, you need new clothes, you can’t walk around in that!” Gerard pointed at Carmilla’s dress. He turned around and began to walk fast again, even though Carmilla hadn’t reached him yet. She barely reached to look down at her self before he had disappeared. She looked around, confused. She couldn’t see him anywhere. Suddenly he popped up a few meters from her.

“Hurry up for crying out loud!” he yelled at her. Carmilla tried to run but was almost falling in her dress once again. She finally reached Gerard, and could see how irritated he was over her slow movements.

“Please, can’t it wait? Can’t we hunt some other night?” Carmilla looked at him with pleading eyes, and hoped that he would give in to her wish, but he didn’t.

“No we can’t, we have to hunt tonight, we can’t survive without blood, and you especially cannot. You just got the dark gift. Pull yourself together and come with me, we need to get this over with!” He said. He began to walk again, but this time a bit more slow so that she could keep up with him. They finally reached the edge of the village. Carmilla was relieved, there couldn’t be long now.

“Sorry I ask, but how far are we going to walk?” Carmilla regretted her question in the same moment that the last word slipped past her lips. Gerard looked at her shortly, but didn’t say anything. He began to walk at into the forest that was very near the village they just left. Carmilla followed reluctantly. She didn’t like walking in the forest, because it brought back bad memories.

They walked and she tried to shut thoughts of the night before out of her head, they had surfaced as Gerard and she had entered the forest. They reached the other side of the forest and Carmilla could see a large village, full of unsuspecting people enjoyed themselves at the many taverns.

“Is this the village we’re going to hunt in?” Carmilla looked at Gerard. Her face almost resembled a big question mark. She had so many questions about her new existence even though she despised it being with him. She didn’t really think that he would answer her at all.

“Yes this is the village. A village in bloom, where there sometimes happens some pretty horrific murders and you’re going to help the murder rate in Styria.” He said with a crooked smile. Carmilla could see his sharp vampire teeth. He then began to walk down towards the village. Carmilla followed him slowly.

”But… I don’t want to kill anyone, I... I just want to die.” A pair of deep red tears was to be spotted in her eyes. Gerard turned around all of the sudden then grabbed Carmilla by the shoulders and shook her in anger.

“You’re dead, can’t you see it? You need to kill to survive, live with it. This is the life I gave you, the life I blessed you with!” he said. Gerard was still holding her shoulders, but was not shaking her any more.

“Come with me, you need some new clothes, you can’t walk around in that thing any more. No, on second thought, stay here and I’ll find something you can wear.” Gerard released her and disappeared out in the dark of night and left Carmilla standing in the grass, she could still feel the cold air on her skin, but the feeling was not as powerful as it would have been, if she had been alive still. She shivered, mostly to recall some of the mortal emotions, but with no luck. She began to walk around in circles to keep herself warm. Her bare feet were a bit cold, but she didn’t really feel it. After a little while, Gerard returned with something that looked like a very thin slip. Carmilla looked at him, she didn’t quite understand.

“You can’t be serious, I’m not supposed to just wear that am I?” the fear of being humiliated was one of the worst things that sprang to her mind. Gerard laughed gently as he looked at Carmilla’s reaction to the dress.

“No don’t worry, you’re not only going to wear this…” he said. He gave her the thin slip and revealed a beautiful light dress in the most beautiful red colour Carmilla had ever laid her eyes on. “You’re going to wear this.” He finished his sentence and smiled to her. ”but you need to change now.” Carmilla looked at him in disbelief. She couldn’t believe her own ears.

“You want me to change now, out in the open, in front of you?” She asked. Gerard smiled again. Carmilla was gobsmacked.

“What else can you do? You have no where else to change, so hurry up. I will turn my back to you if it really is that uncomfortable.” He said. Carmilla couldn’t believe what she just had heard.

”Turn around, and don’t look at me until I tell you that you can look.” She said. Gerard smiled and turned around.

“It won’t do any difference if I see you change now or later, I’ve seen you change before.” Carmilla looked at Gerard, her eyes showed nothing but pure anger. He smiled, but she couldn’t see it.

“What? You haven’t just been looking at me while I’ve changed my clothes, have you? You... you're perverted….!” She couldn’t think of a harsh enough word to say, so she said nothing. Gerard started to laugh, but didn’t turn around. He let her change. Carmilla was furious and kept an eye on Gerard to make sure that he didn’t turn around. At last, she was in the dress. It was kind of tight around her waist and beasts. She didn’t say anything. She looked down at herself, and hated it more and more as she kept on looking. She was well-aware of how much Gerard would be pleased when he looked at her. She looked up and saw that Gerard was looking at her. He seemed to like what he could see in the dark.

“Throw your old dress in the bushes there, and let’s get down to the village.” He told her. She did as he told her to, but she was not happy about it.