I-N-K

“Fatty old Jessica, eating her Twinkie bars again?” came the ear-splittingly high voice of Victoria Albert. The girl in question, Jessica, looked up from her book into the blue eyes of 4th Grade’s biggest bitch.

“Well?” Jessica’s eyes travelled to the candy bar in her left hand.

“Well, duh. You blind or something?” She replied coolly. She let her head turn to her novel once again and began to ignore Victoria, pretending to read the ink on the page. Moments later, the Twinkie bar was in the mud. Victoria had knocked it out of Jessica’s hands. Victoria’s hand flew to her mouth in fake shock.

“Oops!” she said innocently. “Sorry about that.” Jessica blinked intently, pushing her black fringe out of her face. She glared fiercely at Victoria for a second, before speaking in a low, dangerous tone:

“I wanted that candy bar,” her forehead began to knot into angry lines.

“It’s not like you needed it or anything. You’re fat enough as it is.” Victoria announced, prodding Jessica in the shoulder.

“You shut your fucking mouth, Victoria Albert,” Jessica hissed, rising off the bench, leaving her book on the damp wood, “You’re speaking trash.” The shorter black head spat, jabbing the blonde girl in the chest.

“No I’m not. Everyone say’s you’re fat.” Victoria continued to screech.

“At least I don’t have a hooker for a Mom. Oops, didn’t everyone know your dirty little secret? Momma sure gets around doesn’t she Vicky. But it pays the rent. So I guess that’s okay, even if she does pick up some nasty things along the way.”

“My Mommy isn’t a hooker you fat liar. Don’t say that!” Victoria screamed, tears springing to her eyes. Jessica smirked, knowing she had won. Years of fighting the bullies had taught Jess to fight her own corner and to hit them where it hurts. Family was usually a safe start.

“Oh really, Victoria? Don’t even try to lie. Your Mommy’s just as much of a hooker as you are a bitch. You stupid liar.” Jess said, spitting her words like razors. Victoria sniffed loudly, eyes sheened with pure hatred. She took a deep breath before whispering viciously at Jessica:

“No I’m not! You’re fat, just like your Momma. Everyone says so. You know what they call you behind your back? Jessica Jell-O Legs. ‘Cos your huge, fat legs wobble like a plate of jell-O.” Jessica cracked. Her cold, shiny exterior fell down and her eyes began to leak as she shouldered past Victoria. Jess broke into a run and didn’t stop until she reached the girls bathrooms. She sat on the toilet lid and sobbed loudly.

Half an hour later, her loud tears had become racking sniffles. Collecting her thoughts she looked down at her legs. Maybe Victoria was right. They did look awfully chubby spread out over the toilet seat, like two fat milk bottles. Jessica stood up in the stall and jumped on her feet. A sick feeling spread through her throat as she saw her legs wobble. Just like jell-O.

Desperately, she flung the bathroom stall open. A large wall mirror was fixed opposite the bathroom stalls. It was filthy with grime and had lipstick messages scrawled across it. Jess walked slowly up to the mirror. Recess was over now; she could hear other children running down the corridors to lessons. Jessica averted her attention back to the mirror and gazed unhappily at her reflection. She focused first on her face. To her disgust, she noted that her jaw line was rounded and her cheeks were podgy. She could grab a fold of skin under her chin as well. Her forehead was high and there was dark shadowing round her eyes.

She continued to study her body in the mirror for a further fifteen more minutes, before filled with complete revulsion; Jessica turned to the bathroom stall and locked the door. She flipped open the toilet lid with the sleeve of her sweater. She looked into the stained porcelain bowl and tried to bring herself to put her fingers to the back of her throat, just like she had seen the freshman girls do.

Everyday fell into a hideous routine of vomiting. Every recess, Victoria and her cronies would find Jessica, hiding in her book. They would spit at her, call her names and laugh as Jessica ran to the girl’s bathroom. Doors flung open and locks were quickly dragged shut. Jessica would fling herself to her knees and shove her little fingers down her throat as far as they would go. Pressing the back of her mouth over and over again until puke splattered the bowl, her arms and burnt her throat. She would remove her hand and gulp a lungful of air before desperately repeating the purging process. Over and over again until her stomach began to hurt and blood was specked in the bile.

Over time, the bullying began to grow more intense. Shortly after winter break, a whole flock of pupils would form around Jess as she ate her lunch. All laughing as she tore off toward the bathrooms. Locks glided, hands entered unwanted territory and vomit splattered the bowl. The whole time, Jessica would be planning how to escape dinner in time to empty her gut before digestion kicked in.

People noticed, it was hard not to notice the girl who had previously been the student body’s focus of hatred, begin to fade away. Her black straight-leg pants no longer clung to her thighs. They were now lost in the black, not even detectable when she walked. Her pale face was gaunt and her skin looked paper thin. Anyone around her would be able to see the bite marks on her tongue and smell the vile smell of decay rising from the pits of her throat. But no body did. No body stopped long enough to care for little old Jessica. She continued to read her books on the bench, anticipating the moment the crowd would gather and she would flee, tears streaming from her hollow eyes.

Hipbones were protruding, much to Jess’ confusion. She was in the school bathrooms again. Prodding her swollen stomach in revulsion. Her skin hung of her hips and her knees were the widest part of her leg. Jess didn’t get it, not one bit; she thought, whilst violently stabbing her stomach, leaving a white mark. She sighed, deciding that life wasn’t meant to be decipherable, and proceeded to turn to the bathroom stall. Not hearing the swing of the door above the screams in her head.

It was harder this time, as she had wasted time looking in the mirror, she gagged a lot on reflex and she choked a few times. She dragged the lock back across with her clean hand. The other was covered in chunks of food and bile. She had never come across another person in the bathroom whilst she was purging, so she never wiped her hand off, preferring to wash it in the sink. She spat on the floor as she emerged from the cubical. Not noticing the body in front of her until it was too late.

‘What is that on your hand Jessica?” Jess stopped in her tracks looking up in to the concerned eyes of the nurse.
‘I- I- I was sick. Couldn’t make it in time,” she stuttered, plucking the first applicable story out of her head. Trying to hide her stinking hand behind her long pants.
‘Jessica, honey, we have had three reports of hearing a girl gagging and choking in the bathrooms everyday for the last few weeks. Sweetheart, I’m so sorry, but it’s my responsibility to inform your parents you are making yourself sick,’ the nurse squatted before Jess and held Jess’ thin face in her warm hands. ‘You are so beautiful Jessica, why do you do it to yourself?’ She continued, whilst gently plucking Jess’ hand from her side.