Secret Love, My Escape
2/2
Three Months Later
Alex walked towards the apartment building faster than he normally would have. Sure, usually he wouldn't be excited to see his girlfriend, but today was different. Tonight he would get to see John, too. They were all going to this big dinner party. The reason? Well, there really wasn't one. Rian had just decided to have a few people over for dinner, because his newest girlfriend, Cassadee, wanted to cook for everyone. Everyone being John, Lisa, Zack, Jack, and Alex. Well, and Rian, of course. But he was assumed.
Alex knocked on the apartment door and shifted the bottle of wine from one hand to the other. It wasn't like the bottle was heavy, it was just awkward to carry it in the same hand for such a long time. A moment later, the door opened, and John stood on the other side of the door. Usually, John's face light up when he saw Alex, but this time, it took a moment, and the smile was weak, forced. Alex tried to brush that off as nerves. After all, being in the same room with your boyfriend and his girlfriend? It was pretty weird, probably making John feel pretty nervous.
Alex smiled back at him, waving slightly, then stepped inside. He grinned and nodded at everyone, putting the bottle of wine in the kitchen, where Cassadee was busy at work, then leaned against the wall.
"Hey, Alex," Rian greeted from the couch, where he worked on getting the television to work, putting off getting up as long as possible. "Where's Lisa?"
Alex shrugged. "She said she'd be late. And that we should just go ahead and eat if it took too long. Stuck at work, you know," he replied. Quite frankly, that was fine by him. He took a seat on the couch next to John, sitting closer than necessary and snaking one of his arms behind John's back. John tensed up a bit as Alex's fingers started "walking" up his back.
"It will be a while!" Cassadee called from the kitchen. Rian shrugged and threw his arms up in victory as the T.V. seemed to start cooperating. Jack and Zack, who were having some sort of debate, even looked up and whooped in excitement as the football game came on.
They all watched the game for a while, until finally Alex got bored. Lisa still wasn't here, and he wanted some time with John before she got here. "Bedroom?" he whispered, brushing his lips against John's ear. Alex noticed the sharp intake of breath and if they were alone, he would have used that to his advantage at that moment, but he couldn't since all of their friends were around. He loved the effect he had on John, and tended to use it to his advantage. On many occasions.
"We'll be right back," Alex said, standing up. "I have to talk to John." He walked towards the bedroom, knowing that John was following, without registering a response, if any, from his friends.
Once they were both in the bedroom, Alex closed the door behind him, facing John with a grin. He moved forward, locking their lips together, then pushing John down on the bed. He kissed him hungrily, climbing on top of him. John was pulling him closer, closer, until.... he pushed him off.
It was with such force that Alex was stunned. He got off of John and stared as John pushed himself back up into a seated position. Alex waited until the other male looked more comfortable to ask the questions swimming around in his head.
"Are you okay? Did I hurt you? What's wrong?" Alex asked, frowning.
John shook his head. "I'm fine, you didn't hurt me," he replied, his voice a bit weak. "I can't do this anymore, Alex."
Alex's mouth dropped open, his mind racing. John couldn't do this anymore? But... he couldn't just stop! Alex wanted him! And only him! He was only with Lisa because he knew that breaking up would hurt her. And she might cry. Alex did not handle crying very well. John was the only reason he was still sane, John was his escape.
"John... you can't just quit! Please. Please don't. Being with Lisa... It's lonely. I need you. You're my best friend. You're the only one I trust. I... I love you!" he pleaded, sitting next to John and taking his hand.
John pulled his hand away and shook his head. "Lonely?" he spat. "Alex, you fuck anything that moves, practically. You're with different men and women every night. I just happen to be a frequent. What? Am I just a convenient fuck to you? I'm sick of sneaking around. Soon the fireworks are going to explode, and I don't want to be apart of burning everything down."
"John, no. It's just you! I haven't slept with anyone else, besides you and Lisa!" Alex replied. "Please. I want you. I don't love Lisa! She's holding on to my heart. She's the one that doesn't want to let got. I just... I don't want to hurt her! She's jealous of everyone, she makes everything way too dramatic."
"Don't you think she has a right to? You've been cheating on her since you two got together... I should have told her a long time ago. But now I can't tell her, because I helped you cheat. I don't want to help you cheat anymore. I want to be be with you, Alex! And be the only one you're having sex with! I want to believe you when you say that you love me."
Alex sighed and moved closer. "I want that, too," he whispered. "I'll be with you. Only you. I'll break up with Lisa for you."
John looked at him skeptically. "Really?" he asked, doubt lining the word, although Alex knew that he wanted to believe him.
"Really," he replied, leaning closer. "I love you, John. I'd do anything to make you happy." Alex could see him loosen up, begin to believe him. So he took advantage of the moment and connected their lips again.
This time, John didn't push Alex off. This time it started off sweet, and ended up getting deeper and deeper. Alex straddled John and pressed forward, making John slowly lean back on the bed until, finally, he was pushed against it, lying down. He was so into the kiss, that he didn't notice the door open. He didn't notice someone standing there, until she started screaming.
"ALEXANDER WILLIAM GASKARTH, WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?" Lisa screamed. Her voice was high pitched, pierced Alex's ears, and made him leap off of John.
He scrambled to pull his shirt down, which had moved up as he and John made out. "Lisa, it's not what it looks like!" he said desperately. "It doesn't mean anything."
He looked back at John, who was also standing now, obviously hurt by Alex's words. He looked at Lisa with a guilty look on his face, and readjusted his shirt. "Lisa... I'm so sorry. I don't know what I was doing," he muttered, practically running past her. Alex heard the front door slam a few seconds later and knew that John was trying to get as far away from here as he possibly could. Alex looked back at Lisa, whose eyes were now filled with angry tears.
"Lisa, I didn't--" he began, only to get cut off by a sharp slap across the face. He was stunned into silence, as Lisa turned away.
"Don't even fucking try to explain yourself, Alexander," she said, hugging her small frame and walking away. "We're over."
Alex watched her leave and heard the door slam again, then sank onto the bed. John was right. The fireworks exploded. He had basically burned everything down. He had lost absolutely everything. His girlfriend, probably his friends, and his best friend, the man he was sure he loved. He would never forget this feeling. He also couldn't see a way out.
Alex stumbled out of the apartment, muttering a quick "Sorry" to his stunned friends, and into his car. He started driving until he saw a familiar tall figure leaned against a brick wall outside of a store. Alex parked his car and leaped out of it, though he slowed down as he got closer to John. He slid down the wall so that he was sitting next to his friend, who hadn't given him a single glace this whole time.
"John, I didn't mean it," he muttered. "I was just panicked. I spoke too quickly. Lisa and me... we're over."
John scoffed, obviously not amused with the situation. "Yeah, I figured that much. Doesn't change a hell of a lot."
Alex nodded and said, "I know." He looked down at his hands and thought long and hard. This wouldn't be easy to fix. "I meant what I said to you, though. I love you, John. Really. I'll do anything to make you happy. I'll be anything you want me to be. If you want me to spend months making it up to you, I will. Anything. We don't have to be a secret anymore. I'll do anything. Anything at all."
John looked at him and Alex saw the dried tears on his best friend's face. "It won't be easy to make it up to me," he said.
"I know."
"It'll take a long time and probably a lot of work."
"I know. I'll do anything," Alex replied, praying for him to believe him.
"You know. It's hard for me to begin to forgive you, if you don't apologize."
Alex smiled and reached out for John's hand. "I'm sorry," he said, pressing a quick kiss to his knuckles, then legging go and allowing John to wrap the newly freed hand back around his legs.
"Okay."
Alex walked towards the apartment building faster than he normally would have. Sure, usually he wouldn't be excited to see his girlfriend, but today was different. Tonight he would get to see John, too. They were all going to this big dinner party. The reason? Well, there really wasn't one. Rian had just decided to have a few people over for dinner, because his newest girlfriend, Cassadee, wanted to cook for everyone. Everyone being John, Lisa, Zack, Jack, and Alex. Well, and Rian, of course. But he was assumed.
Alex knocked on the apartment door and shifted the bottle of wine from one hand to the other. It wasn't like the bottle was heavy, it was just awkward to carry it in the same hand for such a long time. A moment later, the door opened, and John stood on the other side of the door. Usually, John's face light up when he saw Alex, but this time, it took a moment, and the smile was weak, forced. Alex tried to brush that off as nerves. After all, being in the same room with your boyfriend and his girlfriend? It was pretty weird, probably making John feel pretty nervous.
Alex smiled back at him, waving slightly, then stepped inside. He grinned and nodded at everyone, putting the bottle of wine in the kitchen, where Cassadee was busy at work, then leaned against the wall.
"Hey, Alex," Rian greeted from the couch, where he worked on getting the television to work, putting off getting up as long as possible. "Where's Lisa?"
Alex shrugged. "She said she'd be late. And that we should just go ahead and eat if it took too long. Stuck at work, you know," he replied. Quite frankly, that was fine by him. He took a seat on the couch next to John, sitting closer than necessary and snaking one of his arms behind John's back. John tensed up a bit as Alex's fingers started "walking" up his back.
"It will be a while!" Cassadee called from the kitchen. Rian shrugged and threw his arms up in victory as the T.V. seemed to start cooperating. Jack and Zack, who were having some sort of debate, even looked up and whooped in excitement as the football game came on.
They all watched the game for a while, until finally Alex got bored. Lisa still wasn't here, and he wanted some time with John before she got here. "Bedroom?" he whispered, brushing his lips against John's ear. Alex noticed the sharp intake of breath and if they were alone, he would have used that to his advantage at that moment, but he couldn't since all of their friends were around. He loved the effect he had on John, and tended to use it to his advantage. On many occasions.
"We'll be right back," Alex said, standing up. "I have to talk to John." He walked towards the bedroom, knowing that John was following, without registering a response, if any, from his friends.
Once they were both in the bedroom, Alex closed the door behind him, facing John with a grin. He moved forward, locking their lips together, then pushing John down on the bed. He kissed him hungrily, climbing on top of him. John was pulling him closer, closer, until.... he pushed him off.
It was with such force that Alex was stunned. He got off of John and stared as John pushed himself back up into a seated position. Alex waited until the other male looked more comfortable to ask the questions swimming around in his head.
"Are you okay? Did I hurt you? What's wrong?" Alex asked, frowning.
John shook his head. "I'm fine, you didn't hurt me," he replied, his voice a bit weak. "I can't do this anymore, Alex."
Alex's mouth dropped open, his mind racing. John couldn't do this anymore? But... he couldn't just stop! Alex wanted him! And only him! He was only with Lisa because he knew that breaking up would hurt her. And she might cry. Alex did not handle crying very well. John was the only reason he was still sane, John was his escape.
"John... you can't just quit! Please. Please don't. Being with Lisa... It's lonely. I need you. You're my best friend. You're the only one I trust. I... I love you!" he pleaded, sitting next to John and taking his hand.
John pulled his hand away and shook his head. "Lonely?" he spat. "Alex, you fuck anything that moves, practically. You're with different men and women every night. I just happen to be a frequent. What? Am I just a convenient fuck to you? I'm sick of sneaking around. Soon the fireworks are going to explode, and I don't want to be apart of burning everything down."
"John, no. It's just you! I haven't slept with anyone else, besides you and Lisa!" Alex replied. "Please. I want you. I don't love Lisa! She's holding on to my heart. She's the one that doesn't want to let got. I just... I don't want to hurt her! She's jealous of everyone, she makes everything way too dramatic."
"Don't you think she has a right to? You've been cheating on her since you two got together... I should have told her a long time ago. But now I can't tell her, because I helped you cheat. I don't want to help you cheat anymore. I want to be be with you, Alex! And be the only one you're having sex with! I want to believe you when you say that you love me."
Alex sighed and moved closer. "I want that, too," he whispered. "I'll be with you. Only you. I'll break up with Lisa for you."
John looked at him skeptically. "Really?" he asked, doubt lining the word, although Alex knew that he wanted to believe him.
"Really," he replied, leaning closer. "I love you, John. I'd do anything to make you happy." Alex could see him loosen up, begin to believe him. So he took advantage of the moment and connected their lips again.
This time, John didn't push Alex off. This time it started off sweet, and ended up getting deeper and deeper. Alex straddled John and pressed forward, making John slowly lean back on the bed until, finally, he was pushed against it, lying down. He was so into the kiss, that he didn't notice the door open. He didn't notice someone standing there, until she started screaming.
"ALEXANDER WILLIAM GASKARTH, WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?" Lisa screamed. Her voice was high pitched, pierced Alex's ears, and made him leap off of John.
He scrambled to pull his shirt down, which had moved up as he and John made out. "Lisa, it's not what it looks like!" he said desperately. "It doesn't mean anything."
He looked back at John, who was also standing now, obviously hurt by Alex's words. He looked at Lisa with a guilty look on his face, and readjusted his shirt. "Lisa... I'm so sorry. I don't know what I was doing," he muttered, practically running past her. Alex heard the front door slam a few seconds later and knew that John was trying to get as far away from here as he possibly could. Alex looked back at Lisa, whose eyes were now filled with angry tears.
"Lisa, I didn't--" he began, only to get cut off by a sharp slap across the face. He was stunned into silence, as Lisa turned away.
"Don't even fucking try to explain yourself, Alexander," she said, hugging her small frame and walking away. "We're over."
Alex watched her leave and heard the door slam again, then sank onto the bed. John was right. The fireworks exploded. He had basically burned everything down. He had lost absolutely everything. His girlfriend, probably his friends, and his best friend, the man he was sure he loved. He would never forget this feeling. He also couldn't see a way out.
Alex stumbled out of the apartment, muttering a quick "Sorry" to his stunned friends, and into his car. He started driving until he saw a familiar tall figure leaned against a brick wall outside of a store. Alex parked his car and leaped out of it, though he slowed down as he got closer to John. He slid down the wall so that he was sitting next to his friend, who hadn't given him a single glace this whole time.
"John, I didn't mean it," he muttered. "I was just panicked. I spoke too quickly. Lisa and me... we're over."
John scoffed, obviously not amused with the situation. "Yeah, I figured that much. Doesn't change a hell of a lot."
Alex nodded and said, "I know." He looked down at his hands and thought long and hard. This wouldn't be easy to fix. "I meant what I said to you, though. I love you, John. Really. I'll do anything to make you happy. I'll be anything you want me to be. If you want me to spend months making it up to you, I will. Anything. We don't have to be a secret anymore. I'll do anything. Anything at all."
John looked at him and Alex saw the dried tears on his best friend's face. "It won't be easy to make it up to me," he said.
"I know."
"It'll take a long time and probably a lot of work."
"I know. I'll do anything," Alex replied, praying for him to believe him.
"You know. It's hard for me to begin to forgive you, if you don't apologize."
Alex smiled and reached out for John's hand. "I'm sorry," he said, pressing a quick kiss to his knuckles, then legging go and allowing John to wrap the newly freed hand back around his legs.
"Okay."