Seize The Day

I inhaled the smoke deeply, letting it fill my lungs and body with ease.

I miss cigarettes.

So much for me quitting.

I heard the back door slam shut but I didn't bother turning to see who it was.

It was most likely Emily, coming to see if I was ok and yell at me for not telling her what the fuck is going on.

"I didn't know you smoked." Came Brian's deep voice as he leaned against the wall next to me.

"Only when I'm seriously stressed out." I said, taking another puff.

"Mind ifI smoke with you?" He asked gently.

I shrugged.

He lit up his cigarette and was silent for a minute.

"So how you holding up?" He asked.

"I'm fine." I said automatically.

"Bullshit. You said so yourself, you only smoke when you're seriously stressed out." Brian said with a laugh.

"I guess I'm seriously stressed out then." I admitted with a chuckle.

"That's better. You can talk to me, you know. I know it may feel like all that shit happened a long time ago, but it was only a week and a half ago that you got out of a two year relationship. It's hard, I know." He said.

I turned to look at him and saw that he was already facing me.

"I've just been keeping myself so busy so I don't have to think about it." I said, looking down.

"It's just gonna hit you faster if you try and run from it. You have to deal with it so you can learn to get over it." Brian said softly.

"I know, but I just don't want to." I said in a low voice.

"You don't want to get over it?" He asked, shocked.

"I don't want to have to deal with all the emotions that come with getting over it." I mumbled.

"It's ok, Cynthia. I'm here for you whenever you need me." Brian said, putting out his cigarette.

I put mine out too and he pulled me into his warm chest.

His arms went around me tightly and I rested my head on his chest.

I couldn't help but feel comfortable.

It just felt right.

"Thank you Brian." I said, pulling away.

"Don't mention it. I'm always here for you." He said with a smile.

I smiled warmly back at him and we walked inside.